The following is a partial transcript of the November 30, 2008 episode of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort.
Suss: The Washington Redskins released former NFL MVP Shaun Alexander after four games, who ran a total of 24 yards on 11 carries. Supervisors blame the lack of productivity on that during the times Alexander touched the ball, he was playing FreeCell.
Tuffy: Stephon Marbury found himself suspended and theoretically out $400,000 after supposedly refusing to enter a game for the New York Knicks. In other news, the Knicks are apparently still playing NBA games before LeBron James arrives.
Suss: Two Staten Island councilmen are suggesting the Mets new stadium, sponsored by the federally bailed out Citigroup, be renamed Citi/Taxpayer Field to honor the people whose taxes went to the bank and ultimately the stadium. In rivaled response, the Yankees Stadium will be named after everyone who didn’t help pay for the new Mets ballpark. Say hello to Helio Castroneves Stadium.
Tuffy: Luke Harangody, Notre Dame’s star basketballer, will be out indefinitely with pneumonia contracted in Maui during a tournament. Doctors are baffled as Notre Dame played North Carolina in the final of that tourney and being touched by Tyler Hansbrough usually heals the sick.
Suss: The New England Patriots offensive linemen have really taken a shining to fill-in quarterback Matt Cassel. Left guard Logan Mankins said, “I’m not sure there’s another quarterback in the league I’d rather have right now.” Right tackle Nick Kaczur said he can’t feel much for any other QB, and come to think of it, he can’t feel anything right now.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?”
• Gary Payton, for suggesting Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo really didn’t do much to earn his championship ring and likening him to the Piston’s bench player John Salley on NBATV November 12, saying “Salley was a towel waver too.”
• Anthony Smith, Steelers safety, for guaranteeing a win over the Patriots for the second straight year (the first time he wasn’t correct and also got burned deep by Tom Brady).
• Allen Iverson, Pistons guard, for missing practice on Thanksgiving.
• John Valdez, gymnastic coach, accused of videotaping his students without their consent.
• Jimmy Patsos, Loyola (MD) basketball coach, for doubling Stephen Curry all night, losing by 30, and being more proud of holding Curry scoreless.
• Warren Moon, Hall of Fame NFL quarterback, for saying the Patriots should trade Tom Brady and keep Matt Cassel.