The following is a partial transcript of the November 9, 2008 episode of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort.
Suss: The Oakland Raiders are rumored to be talking with Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh to make him their next head coach. Sources say the agreement is Harbaugh coaches the first seven games, then will get fired and be replaced as coach by Al Davis’s overhead projector.
Tuffy: The Philadelphia Phillies defeated the Tampa Bay Rays in five games to capture the 2008 World Series title. We wouldn’t necessarily suggest that the combination of excessive wait times between games combined with the 48-hour rain delay had any effect at all, but we did notice that the “Rays babies” conceived after Game 1’s exciting win for Tampa seemed almost bored as they watched Game 5’s conclusion from their dorm rooms.
Suss: In his Monday Night Football interview, now President-elect Barack Obama said if he could, he would create playoffs in college football. This was an attempt to make a promise that even his most loyal supporters knew he couldn’t deliver.
Tuffy: With the election of Barack Obama as the United States’ 44th President on Tuesday, the nation finally has an arbiter with enough influence and power to answer one of the nation’s burning questions: is it legal to call a charge in playground ball? The nation… nay, the world awaits his response.
Suss: Former NFL player Keyshawn Johnson will star in his own reality show on A&E where he tries to be an interior designer. In the show he’ll take all the credit for designing while he makes Wayne Chrebet do all the work.
Charlie Doherty’s “What Were They Thinking?” Nominees
• Ned Coletti, Los Angeles Dodgers GM, for offering Manny Ramirez $25+ million a year
• Caitlin Davis, the former Patriots cheerleader dismissed from the squad after photos of her writing slurs on sleeping friend
• Buck Burnette, former University of Texas football player, kicked off team for posting racist Obama message on his Facebook profile
• Brandon Marshall, Denver Broncos wide receiver, for attempting to celebrate a touchdown with a black-and-white glove in honor of Barack Obama’s election win
• Kyle Vanden Bosch, Tennessee Titans lineman, saying in an interview that his currently undefeated team is guaranteed to lose at least two games this year.