The following is a partial transcript of the July 29, 2008 episode of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort.
Our top story: [wah wah wah wah wah wah] Brett Favre.
The Cleveland Indians traded third baseman Casey Blake to the Los Angeles Dodgers in exchange for two prospects, including Single-A catcher Carlos Santana. To make room in their farm system, the Indians have released Rob Thomas.
The Charlotte Bobcats have re-signed their first-ever draft pick, Emeka Okafor, to a new 6-year, $72-million deal. With Larry Brown coaching the team yext year, Okafor said he looks forward to playing out his contract in Charlotte, hopefully under six different head coaches.
Prepared to play in the Summer Olympics despite a broken hand, U.S. gymnast Paul Hamm will not go to Beijing after all, after he was diagnosed with a strained left rotator cuff. Experts believe the sports Gods misread their instructions, where they were supposed to instead re-injure Braves pitcher Mike Hampton, but got the lines in the spreadsheet crossed up and read the name directly alphabetically above him. The sports Gods apologize for the error.
Breaking news: [wah wah wah wah wah wah] Manny Ramirez.
St. Louis Blues forward Dan Hinote was married to Jenny McCarthy's sister and former Playboy model Amy McCarthy in a 1950s-themed wedding last Friday. Teammate Jay McKee showed up dressed as Marilyn Monroe. Actor Jim Carrey showed up dressed as Fidel Castro. And Don Cherry showed up also in costume, but he didn't realize it was a themed wedding.
A Kansas City-area monument honoring the late Negro Leagues icon Buck O'Neil had his name misspelled on the monument's engraving as "O'Neal." The engraver stands by his work of art saying none of his other customers have complained about their purchases, including those by the Kansas City Chefs.
Ohio State junior defensive tackle Doug Worthington was arrested for suspicion of driving while drunk on Woody Hayes Drive. Local ordinance in Columbus states that drunk driving is only reserved for Bob Huggins Boulevard.
The Atlantic Coast Conference in conjunction with the Naval Academy have announced plans for a new bowl this year, the Congressional Bowl, to be played in Nationals Park this December. The game is expected to mirror the legislative process exactly, where 70 percent of both sides show up for the game, fight for 3 hours, ultimately accomplish nothing, and nobody will notice.
And finally, Beijing has announced that they will not serve dog as a meal at the Olympic Games, but will provide another delicacy: seal penis. That's right, seal penis. Experts predict any subsequent performances of "Kiss From A Rose" to be in a much higher octave.