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Bad News: 7/22/05

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news of the week


Smurfs movie in the works
Thanks to all the hype surrounding The Transformers live-action
film, Paramount has purchased the rights to the cartoon series (based
on a Belgian comic strip) in order to create a trilogy of 3-D, CG-animated
features. I guess the idea of unrecognizable exploitations of new technologies
and lack of imaginations worked so well for Garfield (there is
a sequel in the works, afterall). Way to continue your reign as the worst
movie studio, Paramount. Paul Winchell is not even dead a month. In related
news, the new Weinstein Co. is all set to co-produce with Warner Brothers
the previously announced CGI Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Man stabbed in theatre for shushing a talker
Matthew Harris of La Vista, Nebraska, paid a price for telling Omaha’s
Daniel D. Evans, Jr. to be quiet during a showing of The Fantastic
at an AMC Theatre. He was cut several times, not lethally, with
a knife. If this isn’t a cry for better monitoring of chatty moviegoers,
I don’t know what is. Isn’t it bad enough feeling awkward
and embarrassed for having to leave the presentation to rat on somebody?
How about multiplexes risk the payroll to ensure auditoriums are checked
regularly so that customers don’t leave forever and depend on home

theatre systems. My ideal theatre would have buttons on everyone’s
seats that alert management and ushers of any problem, whether it is projection-related
or a disturbance from the audience. Like on airplanes.

Renny Harlin given more work
He’s not only one of the worst directors of today but he hasn’t
shown a studio a hit since 1993’s Cliffhanger. Renny Harlin
is on a new assignment for a graphic novel adaptation that has one of
those pentagram-related plots. Let me just point out that pentagrams are
not evil because of any religious association; they are evil because they
only show up in awful movies. Top
Cow Comics
has a neat feature where you can read the comic book, titled
Covenant, online.

Remakes announced this week: The Omen 666
(looks like a sequel to me), only being made to cash in on the 6/6/06
release date.
– Video game adaptations announced this week: Destroy
All Humans!
; Dungeon Siege
Biopics announced this week: Death Defying Acts
(Guy Pearce as Harry Houdini); Lance Armstrong (Matt Damon as
the cyclist); The Notorious B.I.G.
Deaths this week: James Doohan (1920-2005); Edward
Bunker (1933-2005)

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