As you gaze upon another Evil Office Politics gem, ponder over what a great martial artist once said: “learn everything. Discard what is useless. Master what remains.” Why? Well, not every lesson will be immediately useful, but like every new student you must learn it. If you find you don’t need it, toss it aside. If you find it useful, know it inside and out.
“A useful tool never gets left in the toolbox.”
This fortune cookie-esque analogy is sweet, and completely useful. People, not tools, although some people can be tools, are at their safest when they are at their most useful. You must learn to become necessary. How? Find what’s in demand in the office and become the best at it. The more mindless the task the better as most of the people in your office won’t want to do it, and gladly let you do the dirty work for them. Eventually everyone will expect, and rely, on you to do it. Find enough of these tasks, and soon you’ll be the one who has quietly gained a reputation for getting things done. Now who wants to get rid of someone who is so vital to the day to day functioning of the office?
And the sixth lesson goes something like this:
Alright loyal readers, here is another snippet of Evil Office Politics code for you to ingest, learn, master, and then turn loose on your unsuspecting backstabbing co-workers. Or just read for giggles.
“Those most loyal to the king were always buried with him, whether they were dead or not.”
Loyalty is a funny issue. It has its virtues, if used properly, but it comes at a great price. That price usually means that when the ship is going down, you are firmly planted right next to the captain. No new manager, or supervisor, wants a servant of the old regime by their side. They see you as the bad luck that brought the old leader down. You will never again be trusted or considered worthy enough to be a confidant. And when you are not in the inner circle, you are out of the loop.
Be careful with it comes to loyalty. Your career depends on it.
Ring the gong, my students, this meditation is over….later!