For those of you in the know, this series of helpful insights began its life on Blogcritics last Sunday. For those of you who don’t know-shame on you.
I decided to include two, yes two, lessons today as both are somewhat short on content. Together, though, they are a veritable philisophical force. Please, study them well young grasshopper, and maybe someday you’ll be able to snatch the knife from my hand. But it’s not likely.
Here’s the first lesson:
Hello Everyone: I received a comment from another veteran of the office politics game. I know this person on a personal level and let me tell you, he knows how to play EVIL OFFICE POLITICS, I’ve seen him handle many potentially explosive situations with skill, cunning, and a level head. Here is his lesson for you to learn:
“Believing others have your back will only leave you hanging bare assed in the wind.”
No matter how a “team member” insists they will back you over an office issue, they are lying! You are not, I repeat, you are not the inspirational leader rallying the troops against your oppressive manager. No, you are the sole idiot standing in an office face to face with a boss who now thinks you’re disruptive and potentially damaging to the company he reigns over. So, never believe people will support your ideals no matter how right you are.
Like that one? Good, here’s the second gem:
Today’s lesson is the hardest for most to put into practice:
“An open mouth always leads to an empty cubicle.”
So many times I have watched this happen to fellow employees, and sadly, I have been a victim myself. It is a very nasty habit to talk too much, to tell stories about yourself, or worst of all, tell others more than they need to know. This lesson is close to Lesson #1 but differs in the sense that even if you don’t talk about yourself, you can still talk too much. Gabbing about others, the company, the management is all a disease that will lead to you being fired. Believe me, the less you say about everything, the better off you will be. You don’t have to be a mute, as that would be rude, but if you must talk, just say enough to keep others spilling their guts. Shut your gob and keep your job.
So, there you have it. Now, sit in the lotus position for several hours (or until your legs go numb), drink some green tea, and contemplate your office fate. One more word, Grasshopper, avoid the Kung Pow chicken at all costs…..;-)