Axl Rose and Rush Limbaugh Detained In Separate Incidents

Two loud mouth blowhards – rocker Axl Rose and radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh – had problems with law enforcement in the last 48 hours.

Rose and Rush – don’t those two names just sound good together? It just rolls off the tongue. Hall and Oates. Lennon and McCartney. Rose and Rush. Other than R’s, what do they have in common? Well, both have had problems with drugs. Both have huge egos and take themselves too seriously. Both are overrated and on the radio way too much.
And now they have something new in common – both were arrested this week.

Stockholm was apparently not Paradise City for Axl Rose after he did something so stupid it could cause cancellation of a Guns N’ Roses concert scheduled for Wednesday in Oslo, Norway. Rose has had more than his share of tantrums and run-ins with police over the years. On Tuesday he was arrested after allegedly biting the leg of a hotel security guard. It’s one thing for Ozzy to bite the head off bats but quite another when we have humans biting other humans. What’s he trying to prove? That he’s wackier than Mike Tyson? Rose is supposed to be held until Friday for damage to a hotel and his attack on the guard. That puts the Wednesday concert in jeopardy.

(This just in: Rose, 44, has agreed to pay the guard $5,500 for his injuries and was released. So the concert tomorrow may still be on.)

C’mon, Axl. If you are going to act crazy, can’t you at least save it for the stage? Apparently not. He was so drunk, the cops said, that they had to wait until he sobered up before they could question him. The biting came after a guard tried to stop an argument in the hotel lobby between Rose and a woman.

But trouble with the law isn’t limited to rock stars. Rush Limbaugh, a supporter of the war on drugs, had his latest squabble with law enforcement over his drug use on January 26.
He was detained for more than three hours, the Associated Press reported, at Palm Beach International Airport after customs officials found he had a bottle of Viagra. The prescription was in the name of one of Rush’s doctors, “for privacy purposes,” Limbaugh’s attorney, Roy Black, said. Looks like that plan backfired. He did not have a prescription for the Viagra. This got their attention because Limbaugh just reached a deal last month after he got busted for deceiving doctors so he could get overlapping prescriptions for painkillers.

I see two possible explanations for this. One explanation is that Rush is testing airport security as part of a special report. The second explanation is that spouting too much hot air can lead to erectile dysfunction. Are you paying attention, Bill O’Reilly?

Whew, I made it through the whole piece without making one joke about how I assumed that since Rush is such a dick that he’d have no problem with his manhood. Oops. Spoke too soon.