Home / Author Archives: Michael Davis

Author Archives: Michael Davis

Frist Backs Bush on Santa Claus Hypothesis

"Look, the fact is, there is evidence backing Santa Claus Theory," the President stated on August 2nd. "On Christmas morning, there are toys under the tree. Where did they come from? There is obviously a higher power of some sort at work there. It is much too complicated of a process. These Parent Theorists would actually have us believe that parents are not only shopping for Christmas gifts, but also taking the time to wrap them, and then sneak them under the tree after the kids go to bed on Christmas Eve. Ridiculous." Read More »

Thoughts of God, by Michael Kanaly

Yes, the media campaign had been subtle at first, but it had quickly gained momentum, feeding on fear, until everyone on the Home World hated the aliens, and had become convinced that an attack by them was both inevitable and imminent. Of course, as events unfolded, it became obvious that this was a complete, fabricated lie. Read More »

Blockbuster versus Netflix versus Local Video Stores

I never thought I’d say this, but I’ve become a Blockbuster Video fan. Unusual for me, because I like to shop local if I can, and that includes DVD rentals. Right now, though, I have two overdue movies (Hitch and War of the Worlds) from one of the local video rental stores. I was supposed to return them two days ... Read More »

No ‘Bring It On’ To The Chinese?

A Chinese general said today that China was ready to attack the United States with nuclear weapons: WASHINGTON — The State Department on Friday rejected as “highly irresponsible” a Chinese general’s warning that China might use nuclear weapons against the United States in the event of a U.S. attack on China over Taiwan. (Quote from here.) Whoa. “Highly Irresponsible”? That’s ... Read More »

Cops Shoot Baby

(CBS/AP) A toddler was shot and killed when her father used her as a shield in a gunbattle with police following an hours-long standoff, officials said. The man also died and an officer was wounded. Here’s the story according the the baby’s mother: The child’s mother, Lorena Lopez, said she pleaded with officers to hold their fire. But then: Police ... Read More »

Man Files Lawsuit Over Drunk Arrest

BOSTON — A man arrested at a friend’s house when police broke up a New Year’s Eve party has filed a lawsuit arguing that he had a constitutional right to get drunk on private property as long as he didn’t cause a public disturbance. Being from Mars, it amazes me that Americans actually think they are the freest nation on ... Read More »

Maureen Faibish Charged With Child Endangerment

I wrote here and here recently about Maureen Faibish, the fabulous mother who allegedly left her son alone with a pit bull. The son was killed by the pit bull (even though Maureen thoughtfully tried to lock her son in the basement to protect him while she ran errands). I’m a little late with this, but Maureen Faibish was charged ... Read More »