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Author Archives: Lono

Impeach the President of the United States

Ok, America. I warned you over and over again. You didn’t listen, you voted for him. When he completely and totally lied about why we went to war, you somehow defended that (2,000 dead!) with Clinton lying about the BJ. This is not a parallel. Clinton lied about he BJ because he was married. You would have lied too, unless ... Read More »

Regarding tonight’s Powerball Drawing

Wow! I mean, wow. I have a lot of apologizing to do. First let me state that I did not win Powerball tonight, despite that many calls to your cell phone implying otherwise… but that isn’t why I am writing. I am writing because I feel I handled things poorly. Turns out the numbers by buddy Larry gave me earlier ... Read More »

CD Review – Jethro Tull – Aqualung Live

Last weekend I picked up an import copy of Aqualung Live. I couldn’t resist an opportunity to hear such an influential album live. I don’t have too much a frame of reference for live Tull. I saw them live in high school, which makes that almost 20 years ago. The show was ok and they quit early because Ian Anderson ... Read More »

The Kate Moss scandal

I have been cleared by legal to finally discuss Publicly the Kate Moss cocaine scandal. Turns out, Kate Moss has been doing peruvian modeling powder and got caught. Worse, she was hanging out with rock stars… historically known for their restraint. The fashion world is freaked out, and she lost a buttload of endorsements. How do they think she stayed ... Read More »

Review – Bob Dylan No Direction Home

The ladies treat me kindly, and furnish me with tape What the hell does that mean? No idea. I didn’t take that lyric out of context either. That is the scope of the verse – No Direction Home was released Tuesday, roughly a week before the PBS screening of the much anticipated and thoroughly ballyhooed PBS running of the Marty ... Read More »

I Don’t Believe Mine Eyes

It is a disaster. The President has accepted responsibility for something. I feel crippled with confusion. Read More »

Football – If You See John Elway in the Road – Kill Him

There is an old saying in Buddhism: If you see the Buddha in road, kill him. Here in Denver, even since John Elway left… every QB is compared to him heavily. It is getting incessant and deafening. It reminds me of the boy who had to utter in every after school movie: I’m not Timmy, Dad. Timmy is dead. My ... Read More »

FEMA Director apologizes, accepts responsibility, and resigns

For Immediate Release: This afternoon, amongst criticism of the most monumental bureaucratic failure in American history, Michael Brown stepped down as the head of FEMA. Brown has come under increasing scrutiny for making no relief effort for several days, and instead: The Associated Press obtained internal agency documents, indicating part of FEMA’s mission was to, “convey a positive image” to ... Read More »

DVD review – Grateful Dead: Truckin’ up to Buffalo

Last month, the Grateful Dead released a concert DVD from Buffalo, NY 1989. The press line says “Arguably considered to be the Grateful Dead’s best tour of their last 15 years of touring.” Now, I can speak to that… and I disagree. Though the band has spend a lot of time suckin’ over the years… mostly due to various serious ... Read More »

Thoughts on Hunter Thompson’s funeral

You fucker, you won. You went out on your own terms. How you did it, to me, was bullshit. With your son and grandson in the other room and your wife on the phone? What kind of shit is that? Seriously, that was fucked up. Regardless, the more I have learned since your passing, I understand. You were a proud ... Read More »