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Author Archives: Lono

The Best Bad Movie Ever!

Good news folks, the best bad movie ever is finally coming out on DVD! How best bad is it? Well, the movie was made in 1987 and it is just getting pressed to DVD for June 1st. Welcome Back Kotter episodes have been rushed to the market quicker than this flick. The movie in question (because to call it a ... Read More »

Maybe he is innocent

So, I was watching the Charlie Manson movie ‘Helter Skelter’ tonight on CBS, and I got to thinking about the whole race war idea. I know Charlie was deeply influenced by the Beatles, and that he himself influenced the Beach Boys briefly. People called Charlie crazy, because of the possibility of the Beatles using their music to communicate orders to ... Read More »

The Kids are Alright!

Too many of us are concerned that the next generation is shit. It has always been that way, since people freaked out about the long haired Beatles and Elvis’ hips were banned from television. I come from gen x, for whatever that is worth. These kids today though, with their gangs, their Snoop Dougs, their guns, their internet, and that ... Read More »

The greatest guitarist alive

Is Warren Haynes. If you do not know this, it is ok. You have plenty of time to discover him… as he is on tour this summer with at least three of his bands. He burst onto the scene as a guitarist for the Allman Brothers about 15 years ago. As the Allmans’ grew stagnant though in the mid-90s, he ... Read More »

The problem with Axl

Ok, There are many problems. Axl is holding up rock and roll history. What is weird is that he is holding up history by being alive and well. The first problem with Axl, is he fired the whole band. We looked the other way as he replaced every single person in the band… until Slash. That is where I draw ... Read More »

Every album review ever written

What follows is every single album review you have ever read… ever. To simplify, we will call the fictitious tracks 1-12. This may also be a template for you if you are an aspiring music journalist. _______ are back! With their new release, the band brings some focus and a classic touch to their 2004 release. Says lead singer “With ... Read More »

Boycott Disney

Just kidding. I mean, how could we boycott Disney if we tried? They own ABC, ESPN, and …. well… Disney. Even with all my righteous indignation, I could never walk away from Monday Night Football. You should know though, they are evil. Disney has decided to absolutely stop the summer releaseof a new movie because it criticizes the president. There ... Read More »

The Constitution sure is rad!

Isn’t the constitution great? It sure is buddy. It’s what makes America what it is today! You know what is even better? The Amendments – they sure are: they stopped slavery, gave everyone the right to vote, got us booze back, gave us the fifth amendment (maybe it’s me using that more than others), protects free speech (like this crap)… ... Read More »

Michigan, America’s new home of Intolerance

Well friends, it has been a good run the last few years. The fight to be the most intolerant state in the US has really been heating up. Sure, Texas has always been a perennial front runner, but Colorado recently pulled up to number 1 after US Rep Musgrave (r) suggested we change the constitution to have gay specific language. ... Read More »