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Author Archives: Dave Tepper

After T3, Who Needs Fireworks?

So stop me if you’ve heard this one. Three gay guys, a fag hag, and a lesbian (that would be me—no, really) go to see Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines… …and the lesbian is the only one who hates it. Doesn’t it just figure? Now, I’ll grant you, there are chases and special effects out the wazoo, and ordinarily ... Read More »

Fully Throttled

So how was Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle? Well, I could talk about the acting of Cameron Diaz (Natalie), Lucy Liu (Alex), and Drew Barrymore (Dylan), but that would be a little pointless. It’s all about the T&A—or, in the case of some of the males, N&R, nipples and ripples. I could, I suppose, say that this movie is a gloss ... Read More »

Positive Identity

Identity wants to be a good bad movie. It’s got the A-list stars slumming—well, the B-plus-list stars, anyway—the fresh twist on the genre formula, and the camera chops to back it all up. The problem is premature climax. Just when the movie is building up a head of steam and rushing headlong toward an explosive finale, the script puts the ... Read More »

Cue the Violins

Maybe the string quartet Bond is just a guy thing. More than one of my female friends have accused me of liking this girl-group string quartet only for their looks. Okay, it doesn’t hurt that they look like they could be, well, Bond girls during the Pierce Brosnan years. I envision first violin Haylie Ecker and violist Tania Davis as ... Read More »

Visions and Versions

What is it with Hollywood execs and their remakes of foreign thrillers anyway? It's like they hear "remake" and they think they can create the exact same movie. Read More »

There Are No Electrical Outlets on a Desert Island

When you decide to pick out ten movies you'd want with you on a desert island, you have to take into account that you won't be able to plug in your TV or DVD player. Read More »

Mostly Martha

It's a simple story, but as Martha (Martina Gedeck) notes, you can tell a good chef by how she prepares the simplest dishes. Read More »