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Brian Lewandowski | Blogcritics
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Home » Author Archives: Brian Lewandowski

Author Archives: Brian Lewandowski

Grounded ’til the End of the World

Um, hello? It looks like some of our children are being "left behind" if you know what I mean. Read More »

Postcards from the Edge

Yesterday afternoon I shucked down to my birthday suit, grabbed a bottle of gin and sat my naked ass upon the couch all in anticipation of the lesbian episode of Postcards from Buster. This was going to be hot, hot, hot! Well, Mr. Floppy and I were sadly disappointed. There wasn’t even any deep tongue kissing, let alone double, dastardly, ... Read More »

Happy Ground Pope Day!

Good news! The Pope saw his shadow this morning. There will be six more weeks of the papacy. Read More »

The Stupid Secret Lives of Dragonflies

Someone told me the other day that a dragonfly only lives for 24 hours. That's strange. I have billions of dragonflies in my yard and yet every morning I don't have to sweep away layers of dragonfly carcasses. What happens to them? Read More »

Not My Public Broadcasting

I sit here in disbelief at the thought process of the heads of Boston’s WGBH and PBS in general. Many stations and groups, as well as government regulators are deeply concerned regarding an episode of the popular kid’s show Postcards from Buster. The offensive episode is entitled “Hot All-Girl Action” and it finds Buster taking his camera to visit a ... Read More »

Note to Self: Shut Up

Sitting table side with friends last night, we laughed out loud over stories of complaining people. Our friend was yelled at by an irate customer who wanted 3/4 of a pound of turkey at her deli. The issue was that the scale read .78 lbs. She accused our friend of inane stupidity. I thought she should have nibbled the last ... Read More »

Two Lesbians in Every Pot!

Admittedly, it is easier for George W. Bush to win this coming election because he has a well-funded machine of clever message makers and political pundits. The Republicans have been building this for years and it is a crack adaptive team that always seems to have a pulse on what the voters want. I can only hope John Kerry can ... Read More »

Almost Live Convention Analysis

Here are my running and rambling notes from the Democratic National Convention last night. I thought I was actually going to a Bruins’ game but realized my error when I saw that they were using the Zamboni to block terrorists from the Premium Seats Men’s room. 4:30 pm – The first thing I scout out when we get inside is ... Read More »

Why Does Jesus Email Me so Much?

Moses had his burning bush. George W. had his enlightenment after years of alcoholism. The Lord does work in mysterious ways…. and I now believe he is calling to me via email: FW: Proceed With Your Ordination Become a legally ordained minister within 48 hours As a minister, you will be authorized to perform the rites and ceremonies of the ... Read More »

Smack the Crap Out of It!

Let me just go on the record today and say that I love steroids. I don’t mean for me personally. (I use a nose spray that has them and my nose doesn’t seem to be getting any stronger.) I mean that I love steroids in pro sports. Here’s why. I would love to see a baseball hit 600 feet. I ... Read More »