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arguments

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Arguments are often dreaded, feared, and avoided. This is because many people lack the skills to resolve conflict and differences through conversation — not because all arguments are useless or harmful. When participants manage their emotions and build rationality and respect into their beliefs, arguments are an effective way to understand and work through differences. Countless people struggle to have constructive arguments and seek tips and tricks to help resolve and prevent them.

Call them discussions, disagreements, debates, or fights — by any other name an argument means that two or more people have a misunderstanding or a difference of opinion about something. Typically, the word we use for an adversarial communication process is rooted in our past experience, comfort level, and feelings about being at odds with someone. Arguments between couples, where the goal is no longer to resolve an issue, transform into intense power struggles and become unproductive creating high conflict.

Significant marital and family differences that go unresolved (and without a healthy argument process) settle into long term battles over ‘being right’ and proving it. Argumentative marital partners, relatives, and parents struggling with constant arguments with teens  can seek guidance through self-help sites that can be found on the blogosphere.

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About Dr. Coach Love

Arguments

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A website dedicated to nothing but Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About. Full of dry British humor. Don’t miss such gems as

  • I eat two-fingered Kit-Kats like I’d eat any other chocolate bars of that size, i.e., without feeling the need to snap them into two individual fingers first. Margret accused me of doing this, ‘deliberately to annoy her’.
  • Which way – the distances were identical – to drive round a circular bypass (this resulted in her kicking me in the head from the back seat as I drove along).
  • She wants to paint the living room yellow. I have not the words.
  • See if you can spot the difference between these two statements:
    1. “Those trousers make your backside look fat.”
    2. “You’re a repellently obese old hag upon whom I am compelled to heap insults and derision – depressingly far removed from the, ‘stupid, squeaky, pocket-sized English women,’ who make up my vast catalogue of former lovers and to whom I might as well return right now as I hate everything about you.”

    Maybe the acoustics were really bad in the dining room, or something.

  • Arguments. There are many arguments we have over arguments. ‘Who started argument x’, for example, is a old favourite that has not had its vigour dimmed by age nor its edge blunted through use. Another dependable companion is, ‘I’m not arguing, I’m just talking – you’re arguing,’ along with its more stage-struck (in the sense that it relishes an audience – parties, visiting relatives, Parent’s Evenings at school, in shops, etc.) sibling, ‘Right, so we’re going to get into this argument here are we?’
  • …. It’s that, as the exchanges switched backwards and forwards between us, there was a kind of bidding war going on with the pitch. It’s not just that each one of us upped the volume a little for our turn, but that we also changed the tone by raising our voices so that our reply was about a fifth higher than the one that the other person had just used. It was like two Mariah Careys facing off – pretty quickly, we were having an argument that only dogs could hear.

This page seems to be sufficiently popular that it’s also a book.

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