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Are The Patriots Gonna Lose In New Orleans? N.O.!

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This has to be the first time that anyone’s gone up against an 8-0 team and a 10-0 team in one season. The Patriots strike another one from the record books! We are the Kings of all! Let John Facenda himself sing our praises from the heavens above!

The Saints won’t be quite the challenge the Colts were supposed to be (and still somehow were, dammit); but this will be probably be the marquee MNF game of the year. A Super Bowl preview, if you’re so inclined. (And I am quite inclined right now. I’m writing this from the edge of Mt. Vesuvius. Stupid billy goat won’t leave me alone. SCAT, GOAT! SCAT!)

Say what you will about their 10-0 start (they’re definitely being downplayed in favor of the Colts by the mainstream) but the Saints haven’t really had a challenge this season. They’ve only had two teams that got within ten points of them (Falcons and Rams) and they haven’t really faced a quality squad on par with the Pats. (Sorry, Giants/Eagles fans.) The NFC East has been weak all year and their NFC South rivals are terrible. This will be the big test for New Orleans to see if they have a shot at the crown or if the Vikings will knock them out in the NFC Championship game.

The one thing the Saints have going for them is the Pats’ D, which has been lackluster to say the least all year long. I’m not saying a 500-yard game is on tap for Drew “Is that a caterpillar on my face?” Brees on Monday night, but I wouldn’t put it past ‘em.

But with all this talk of the vaunted New Orleans offense, ours hasn’t been too shabby either. New England’s running is 40 yards a game worse, but our passing is 40 yards a game better; pretty much evens out. We average 416.1 yards a game; N’Awlins averages 420.5. We give up 296.7 yards a game; N’Awlins gives up 330.6. There’s a defense out there playing worse than ours! It’s true!

Forecast: Tom Brady’ll hook up with Moss and Welker at least once each. And then he’ll play some football! (Hiyooooo!) I see Chris Baker snagging a goal line grab, as well. And for some reason I don’t see Reggie Bush piling up a lot of yardage Monday night. But hey, at least he’s still got this to go home to. Unless they broke up again; I’m not a big People guy.

Prediction: New England 20, New Orleans 13
MVP – S – Brandon Meriweather: Two picks, one Pick-6. Drew Brees’ face blotch will be wet with the tears of failure after this barnburner.

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About Ethan Booker

  • Grampie Bob

    I don’t have anything witty to say. We need to put pressure on Brees. I don’t remember seeing our defense do that to anyone this year.

  • Although from your pic you don’t seem like someone who should be commenting on another person’s face, that’s not a question Brees would be asking himself

  • Pete

    Don’t know how you can be down on the Pats D and call it lackluster. They are ranked 6th in the NFL. They just need to pick it up a bit in the second half.

  • Tim

    Are you freakin’ kidding me? Obviously you wrote this article from a fan’s perspective. I just want you to promise your readers (if you have any at all) that when the Saints beat the Patriots, you will write an aritcle about how stupid you are.

  • @Bicho: My Mom says I’m handsome, dammit!

    @Pete: It’s not all about yards. It’s about when the other team gets those yards.

    @Tim: May I direct you to the title of this feature? Also, thanks for reading. Apparently I have at least one..

  • Wow, what a horrible prediction. Next week you should try paying more attention to football and less to looks.

  • Tony

    Typical Boston fan. You can always change the classification to satire.

  • Typical Boston fan, cheering for Boston teams. So predictable..

  • Tony

    I was speaking more to the delusions, but this was definately wrought with cheering or cheerleading.