http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Thu, 5 Jan 2006 07:52:15 EST http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding. Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/05/075215.php monkey2manGeneralissimo Alberto: I'm making a list, and checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty and nice...Legendary Monkey: Um... Alberto, Christmas was two weeks ago. Is this one of those deals like where Uncle Duke slept for weeks through the Doonesbury holidays after snorting too much extract of iguana glands?GA: Oh no, oh Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart. A snootfull of iguana glands does sound good, but this is much more fun than Christmas: I'm working on an official White Stripes Nation enemies list for the new year.LM: Boy, what in the hell are you on? Are you mixing up dosages again?GA: Oh, allow me to elucidate. As so often in life, I'm drawing inspiration from my hero Elvis Costello. Starting out in the 70s, he made a big point of carrying around a little black book that he would whip out to show journalists. He said he was using it to record the names of all the people who had crossed him on whom he planned to seek revenge when he got to be a big powerful star.So, like Elvis Costello- and Richard Nixon and Joseph McCarthy before him- I'm working up a list of enemies of The People who must eventually face the lash of revolutionary justice.LM: Uh... y'know, I'm not sure that a list of... enemies is really going to help the cause here. Flies, honey, that old drill may be best.GA: Yeah, yeah, peace and love and reconciliation. Dubya tried making nice with Ted Kennedy, and what good did it do him? He just got his hat handed to him, and ended up looking weak, like a fool.No, the opposition must be made to FEAR the mighty wrath of the White Stripes, and respect my authorita! To that end, I'm working us up a list of people who must be Dealt With in an appropriately harsh poetic manner. LM: Let me see this list. Wait a minute... Alberto, this looks more like a Big Chief pad than a little black book. Speaking of hero worship and all, do I need to buy you a green hat or--Oh. Oh, wait, I think you sold me on this. This is an idea I can get behind! Garth Brooks, check. Coldplay, double check. Pretty Ricky certainly have it coming. GA: See, I knew you'd love it. We'll put all the worst offenders against a decent system of Geometry and Theology on notice that we will not tolerate any...LM: Yeah, hold on a minute there, Generalissimo. Where's the obvious Public Enemy #1?GA: What you talking about?LM: Look Alberto, you do not even need to play innocent with the monkey. You think I haven't seen that little porno stash of yours? I have tactfully ignored it to this point, but if you think we're putting out an enemies list without Mariah Carey on the top, well you've got another think coming.GA: But she's so CUTE.LM: Holy Mary Reborn Literally, I mean c'mon. Maybe she's cute in a $10 behind-the-bar-hooker sort of way. Just look at this picture. Looks like the cover of a particularly bad, cheap porno DVD. GA: You say that like it's a bad thing. Plus, I'd say that picture would be the cover of a good porno. Besides, isn't it better that perhaps more disturbing and inappropriate thoughts be directed against the cheap slut rather than, say, our esteemed and high class Queen Meg?LM: Look, I SO do not want to know what you're thinking when you look at that cheap tramp, but business is business. You KNOW that she is the worst and most wicked purveyor of cheap soulless corporate swill passed off as "pop music" going today. I can't believe that YOU of all people would stoop to counterrevolutionary activities over THIS trollop.GA: Hey, now, easy with accusations of deviationism. Alright, alright, She Who Must Not Be Named goes on the list. I'm sorry, "Honey."LM: Alrighty then, let me just pencil the evil one into the top of the list...I notice some Post-It notes here from our future Minister of Defense...GA: Yes, field reports from DJ Radiohead.DJRadiohead: The lash of revolutionary justice? This sounds like a task requiring assistance from the Defense Ministry. The enemies of The People are a threat. They will join us or die I think I have previously seen that line used. They will be re-educated or they will feel our wrath!LM: Alrighty, then. Now THIS is starting to look like an enemies list The People can live with. Let's get this thing out, so I can escape from here and get images of you and Mariah out of my head.With no further ado then, here isThe Annotated Official White Stripes Nation Enemies ListMariah Carey GA: Look, I don't want to flog a dead horse...LM: Flog a dead cow would be more like it.GA: Enough already. We've made the point. No need piling on.Christopher Rose aka Alienboy GA: Not to put too fine a point on it, but this dude is just BEGGING for re-education. He came into White Stripes Nation, saying "The Captain and Tennille are more artistic and interesting." That right there could get you shot.This Alienboy is going to be trouble for White Stripes Nation, mark my words.Coldplay GA: Damn, but this Ricky Martin guy just makes me want to bring the pimp hand down. Whiny ass little drama queen. LM: You know it's CHRIS Martin. You're slandering poor Ricky Martin. Even he doesn't deserve comparison to this faux artist. Ought to make him listen to some Fiona Apple.GA: Yeah, she might could learn him how to make some artsy ROCK on a piano without being such a pussy. LM: Perhaps in White Stripes Nation Chris Martin will generously be allowed to live, working as Elton John's piano tuner.GA: That's better than he deserves, but ok, oh merciful Monkey.Garth Brooks GA: The "anti-Hank" as the blessed Kinky Friedman has called Garth, has done more to destroy the very concept of country music than any one other person. He's just that awful. It pains me to know that Garth Brooks is some people's idea of what country music is about.20 years of hard labor picking cotton would serve him right. That might soften him up to actually get all those Johnny Cash records that he's going to be listening to instead of frickin' crappy Kiss. LM: Also, every time some drunken asshole starts moaning away about his friends in low places, Garth Brooks should be slapped like the bitch he is.GA: Seems only fair.Bob Geldof GA: First off, this is about MUSIC, not ridiculous cheap posturing like you're Jesus of Nazareth. Sumbitch KNOWS better. Listen to The Fine Art of Surfacing. That was some worthy pop music. Now he wants to think that he's not only a great spiritual leader, but a global power broker negotiating with world governments. In White Stripes Nation, Geldof will be doing community service performing in a clown outfit for children's birthday parties, like Homey the Clown. A suitable soundtrack for this service will doubtless contain a lot of class Coasters records, particularly "Charlie Brown." Ashlee and Jessica Simpson LM: Melt them down for experimentation. We need to find a way to recycle plastic anyway, right?DJR: If we don't melt them down, which would actually be fun to watch, we could force them to spend the rest of their lives working at a soup kitchen (wearing clothes, mind you) or some such shelter. They got a lot of money for doing very little to better the cause of humanity. Let us balance the scales requiring them to do much for humanity and receiving nothing monetarily in return.GA: Besides any musical considerations, I'll just say that Jessica Simpson isn't fit to fill Catherine Bach's Daisy Dukes.Pretty Ricky GA: Look, Pretty Ricky sucks real bad as any kind of music. But it's so much more aggravated than merely sucking. They just do not sound very gentlemanly AT ALL. Worst of all, they don't sound like they're even really enjoying their determined whoring. Does this sound like fun, or does it sound like them and their hoes are punching the clock? "you tha worker and I'm tha boss/ grab your pink slip girl, let me lay you off"Their rehabilitation must begin with learning some manners and respect for young ladies. Start with some classes at the Smokey Robinson School for Young Gentlemen.Gwen Stefani DJR: Garbage in, garbage out.She combined hip hop, reggae, pop, and marching band pep rallies (atrocious forms of music, all) and came up with something worse: Love. Angel. Music. Baby. It is bad enough when the youth fill their songs with vapid lyrics describing shallow, high school emotions. When you are a 36-year old mother-to-be, it is embarrassing. It is criminal. It will not escape The People's Judgment.Gwen's age works against her. She might be past the point of re-education. She will be sentenced to life in Camp Mimi without the possibility of parole or another recording contract (this includes cameos). Her child will be banished to a musicless facility in Greenland in the hopes of preventing a repeat of the sins of her mother (and father).Korn GA: These idiots get to represent for a whole range of idiot concept bands with merely loud guitars and loads of schtick, or shit, as we might call it down on the farm. These fools wouldn't know what a "tune" was if it bit them in the ass.They think they're Alice Cooper- another Detroit native like our Dear Leader. Difference is, Alice took the time and attention to songcraft to compose "Schools Out" and "Only Women Bleed." He had actual SONGS at the core of his act.Frankly, their crap is too boring for me to even care to dream up an arcane punishment. Just be banished from the kingdom. And when you're gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. You've lost all your LA privileges. Shania Twain GA: There may be no higher offense against any decent idea of Geometry and Theology than modern commercial country music. This crap ain't country or any reflection of the culture of Jimmie Rodgers or Johnny Cash, and it barely qualifies as music. Basically, modern country music is 20 year old pop music with all the black carefully removed. Yucky bland suburban white bread. YUCK. Even among the bland whitebread, Shania Twain merits special derision. This emotionless commercial drivel is especially heinous in the presumption that all you got to do to be good country music is slap a little fiddle onto your third tier Def Leppard album for the US release, and voila! Country music. Then she's got that song, "Man, You Make Me Feel Like Slapping a Woman." Britney Spears GA: Fish in a barrel, yes I know. Alright then, to summarize, the Wikipedia entry for "corporate tool" should have her picture in it. There's no idea of love of music in her product- just whatever will push the buy buttons of foolish teenagers. She's too old for her classic kiddie porn appeal, still she won't go away.The People are particularly offended by the poopie-licking "Lucky." We are SO not interested in hearing her talk about how tough and lonely it is being a big star. "Hit Me Baby One More Time"? Okay!She's so ridiculous that really there's no point even in trying to re-educate her. She'd have to grow a brain first. In White Stripes Nation, she can live out the rest of her natural life working in crappy mall stores, the Gap perhaps- forced to listen to her own records day and night. I would predict a quick suicide.DJR: I think we're gonna have to shoot her, General Sir. I mean, if we put her in a Gap in a mall and play her records, well that'd be leaving her music around where someone could accidentally find it and hear it. In WSN, the radio belongs to The People. There will be no Britney on the radio. The People's Bandwidth will not stand for it.Against. The. Wall.GA: Perhaps you're right, Minister. Maybe it would be more humane to just put her down.Jon Bon Jovi DJR: I struggled for a few minutes deciding which over-the-hill dinosaur deserved inclusion in the registry of Enemies of The People: Jon Bon Jovi or Paul McCartney. In the end, Bon Jovi was the easy choice. At least McCartney used to be good.As for Bon Jovi. talk about re-education. The Enemies have conspired to re-write Jon Bon Jovi's history. There are those who have forgiven Bon Jovi his hair metal sins even as he rapes the songbook of fellow New Jerseyian Bruce Springsteen (and gets it all wrong, of course).He will serve at Camp Mimi where he will write the following sentence 100,000 times: Scarves do not belong on microphone standsFollowing his release from Camp Mimi he will work in a scarf-manufacturing sweat shop until his death, which cannot come soon enough. GA: Hey, go easy on snorting them iguana glands there, Minister. Yes, Jon Bon Jovi will be up against the wall. Obviously that has to be.But Paul McCartney is a holy man. Got to have respect for the author of "Helter Skelter" and Silly Love Songs." OK, so his more recent albums haven't been up to snuff. But actually, I'll give him pretty decent marks for the new one.Ask yourself, WWJD? What would Jack do? Paul McCartney may be past his prime, but we must revere our elders as Jack reveres Loretta Lynn. Rod Stewart In White Stripes Nation, we do not leave our old folk out on to die in the cold- unless you're talking about Rod Stewart. He's too old and decrepit to qualify now as a real enemy, but "Maggie Mae" doesn't make up for "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy." One more rote album of Broadway standards, and he could get awfully cold out on that ice floe.OutKast DJR: They will return Jack and Meg's Grammy and spend the rest of their days polishing it.GA: I want to like Outkast, but they just have very weak songwriting, as if they were mostly concerned with costumes and staging and everything but the basic tunesmithing.Perhaps they could be rendered fit for civilization with just some remedial classes at the Sly Stone School of R&B Songwriting. I personally find the absolutely crappy songs of the Black Eyed Peas even far more egregious, but they will meet the lash perhaps another day.Renee Zellwegger ? DJR: The sins of Renee Zellwegger-Chesney-Zellwegger are well known and it is only right and proper she be called to account for them.Her hair will be dyed black in accordance with Jack's wishes and she will be force fed sandwiches until she bursts.GA: I'm torn on this one. On one hand, perhaps she deserves punishment for betraying the revolution. On the other hand, obviously Jack still has some feelings there. We may have to spare Renee Zellwegger from the lash out of deference to our Dear Leader.VIVA LA REVOLUTION! ------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.WHITE STRIPES PHOTOS THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music41505@blogcritics.org Thu, 5 Jan 2006 07:52:15 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/12/19/232022.php monkey2manGeneralissimo Alberto: Yahweh did not ban Satan lightly. He loved Lucifer. Lucifer was beautiful. But he was wicked and had to be banished from His presence. The devil was cast into hell with his fallen angels.The Revolutionary Counsel freely admits that Mariah Carey is hot. Granted. She looks good. I will admit that her vocal instrument intrigues me.LegendaryMonkey: You've got to be kidding me. I'm not even hearing this. Mariah Carey? She looks like My First Hooker Barbie.GA: Hush up now, woman. We're trying to play nice.Nonetheless, come the revolution, Mariah Carey must be put to the lash, and banished from the realm. LM: You're damned right she will!GA: We'll be re-opening the former Abu Ghraib complex, under new and - of course - improved, White Stripes Nation management. We might bring John Ashcroft back to run the thing.Thus, it's convenient to call our death camp of tolerance "Camp Mimi" because her lambs are a bunch of sheep to the slaughter who will voluntarily herd into a place so named.LM: If she's there, I'm in favor of calling it, "Shut your stupid mouth and disappear, please."GA: Now, womanchild, we need a kinder and gentler machine gun hand. If we "disappeared" her, that'd just cause Sting to write a song about her -- and at this point I'd just about as soon hear her as him. I'm just saying, you don't want that, do you?LM: Mariah Carey is the worst example of empty-headed bullshit music out there, and it's doubly worse because she should be able to produce something of beauty with all her training. Instead, she's just as bad as the damned Pussycat Dolls for promoting a ridiculous and unrealistic image of womanhood. Finally, she doesn't even compare to Meg! I can't believe you even invoked the name of Mariah Carey here, in this place, in this time.GA: This is a pretty messed up state of affairs when it's down to ME to be the good cop on Mariah Carey. I'm trying to be moderate and reasonable. I mean, I just want to send her to a re-education camp.LM: Mariah Carey is a plasticized bimbette who's had so much surgery that she doesn't even look like the same person as when her first album came out. Look at her! Whereas Meg... lovely Meg, who is woman-shaped and beautiful. Delicate and feminine, but I bet she'd kick your ass if you pushed her too far. Or at least shove a drumstick up your nose. What will Mariah do? Break off a fingernail and run screaming to fling herself on the bed and cry? Meg doesn't look like street trash, either. She's got more class in her pinky toe than Mariah's exhibited in her entire "career."GA: Well. Perhaps we should stop and consider the all time classic:"There's No Home for You Here" Elephant, 2003GA: This album and this song in particular represent a strategic expansion of the White Stripes original basic "garage band" premise. The band is just the two of them, with no outside musicians. That represents the most specific musical commitment to anything like punk rock principles. It provides a useful framework to focus their art.LM: Damned Beyonce wannabe... stupid, empty-headed... GA: "There's No Home for You Here" and other more recent records have fuller arrangements than the earlier work. This is MUCH more of a record than anything off the first three albums. This seems to have led to a bit of grumbling in some corners of Jack's kingdom.But they're still within the technical limits of that, if that counts. It's just that he overdubs a whole chorus of Jack's to get that Queen effect. Particularly, the best break in the whole White Stripes catalogue may be about 1:55 into this record, when the instruments drop out in favor of a whole chorus of Jacks harmonizing the command of the title. Then add that beautifully modulated and expressive lead guitar shrieking across those pristine harmonies, and you've got a really prime moment.LM: Within technical limits? I'll say. All vintage instruments, no computers... just a couple of kids making music because they love it. Unlike SOME people, who are so produced you don't know WHAT they might sound like....GA: Yes, Jack and Meg are still working in a minimally processed and fairly transparent manner -- particularly as compared to such demonic divas as Mariah. The duo format was such a strict frame to start with that they can liberalize considerably from there and STILL be pretty earthy and holistic.LM: Are we going to talk about the music or are we going to talk about the bimbette? Because I'm okay with talking about the music, but if you're gonna bring up street trash, I'ma get a broom. It's up to you. GA: OK, sorry to mention She Who Must Not Be Named. Back to Jack: Principally here, he affects an air of cold aloofness. The extended long strings of words in the verses are an articulate Brit kiss-off. This could be something like Hugh Grant might say if he were agitated. The way he purposely generates a lot of words to use in generating a baroque kind of blues melody reminds me a bit of Prince's underappreciated classic "Joy in Repetition." I particularly like the crunchy flow of I've not been really looking forward to the performance But there's my cue and there's a question on your face Fortunately I have come across an answer Which is go away And do not leave a traceThis whole song makes a good example of how to use influences. For this centerpiece of their "British" album, Jack was obviously using Queen as the model, particularly for those "Bohemian Rhapsody" style vocal harmonies. Yet it doesn't come out sounding like Queen. For one thing, Jack and Meg can swing, which Queen just couldn't on a bet.LM: Yo Al, what do you mean with "swing"? Jack and Meg are a lot of things, but they're not Frank Sinatra.GA: Wise question, young Grasshopper. I'm referring, of course, to the classic philosophical statement of Duke Ellington, "It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing." I'm using the term broadly, more an indication of a loose rhythmic fleet-footedness rather than a specific musical genre.It would perhaps be better to say that Queen were only rock, but that the White Stripes are rock and roll. I don't mean to pick on Queen, as they were an excellent band in many ways, and had quite a few good songs. But listen to "Crazy Little Thing Called Love." It's an excellent rockabilly song, but they couldn't perform it properly. Dwight Yoakam totally takes over the song, just by giving it some basic Elvis swing.It's a big beef with most modern era rock music that they might ROCK you with big loud guitars- but very few have the ROLL that had so much to do with making Chuck Berry and Elvis and Fats Domino so appealing.LM: So you're basically saying that the White Stripes are more rhythmically supple than Queen or modern rock bands.GA: Yes. White Stripes got swing, even in this relatively more produced song. Korn and Green Day do NOT swing.The special depth of the song, though, comes from the mixture of emotions expressed. Variations on "There's no home for you here girl, go away" express at least a couple or three distinct emotions being blended in. There's the idea of a cold command. By the end of it, it's distinctly more a plea. PLEASE quit tormenting me.More specifically, please Mariah, don't make me cast you from the kingdom into a dark dungeon in Iraq. Jack has to be tough to be a leader -- but truly he is not malicious, and wishes no ill upon even so egregious an offender against Public Decency as Mariah Carey. It gives him no pleasure to have send her to an internment camp -- but his public duty compels. him. What's he to do?LM: Public decency is right. Ain't no room for plastic hoebags up in HERE!GA: Perhaps Mariah could still be of use to The Revolution.LM: What, staff concubine for the Generalissimo?GA: I'd like to find a more respectful way to say that.LM: There's no respectful way to say that. Besides, I don't think we have enough Lysol for that, and I am so not putting up with the smell. This revolution is clean, classy, and disease-free. She can just get on out of here with that trashy plastic face of hers.GA: Thus, the moral of this song is: It's White Stripes Nation -- love it or leave it.VIVA LA REVOLUTION! ------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music41011@blogcritics.org Mon, 19 Dec 2005 23:20:22 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/12/08/111126.php monkey2manLegendaryMonkey: Alllllbert! Alberto! Stop practicing your goose-stepping or whatever it is you're doing and pay attention. I've got a brand new spin on the revolution and you're going to love it.Generalissimo Alberto: Hush up, womanchild. The people need to see us stepping tall and looking proud. LM: No! They need -- well, maybe it's more we need... anyway, vox populi, my friend! We've not been paying attention. If we really want to elevate Jack and Meg as the one... er, two True Saviors of Music -- and perhaps the world -- then we must turn to the people. And we need to sing. And what White Stripes song do the people love to sing?"Hotel Yorba" White Blood Cells, 2002LM: "Hotel Yorba" is a staple at live shows because it's one of the most beloved of all the White Stripes catalogue. It's a happy-fun song with country rhythms that, along with "Now Mary," a later track from the same album, helped to pave the way for later White Stripes songs like "Little Ghost." If "Hotel Yorba" wasn't as popular as it is, I doubt we'd have seen that song... but I'm getting off track. We're going to join hands and strum guitars--GA: At the same time?LM: Uh, no. I guess that does present something of a difficulty. Well, some will strum guitars and some will join hands, but we're all going to sing "Hotel Yorba."GA: Have you been in my medicine cabinet again? Best be careful which bag of dope you pull out of my jacket, little Monkey Mia.LM: Your meds have nothing to do with this. It's strategery, y'know? It worked in the sixties! Flower power and Dylan... "Blowin' in the Wind" and rolling stones and free love as a cleansing tonic for the mind and soul. The music moved the people and the people cried for change. Throughout our movement, we've been talking about music, and we've been talking about change, but we forgot to use the music to bring about the change. And "Hotel Yorba" is a very Dylan-esque song, and it's popular, so why not start there?GA: Well, it beats your plan to travel the Confederacy teaching the rural Moors Negro spirituals you picked up from Alan Lomax recordings- though I suspect they'd be more interested in an R Kelly singalong. I'm just saying, The Revolution has a lot of work to do to bring Jack's truth to all of The People.LM: I think you may be confusing me with that other girl you like so much. GA: You think I'm confusing you with Macy Gray?LM: Maybe not. But that's not the point. You're distracting me! You won't turn me from this course, Albert. Pay attention! I was watching with one eye on the other side I had fifteen people telling me to move I got moving on my mind I found shelter In some thoughts turning wheels around LM: This is a statement that can be applied to the current administration... puppet masters pulling the strings and how real thought--GA: Oh, I think you DID get my Choco.LM: Maybe a little. But you can't argue with this: I been thinking of a little place down by the lake they got a dirty little road leading up to the house I wonder how long it will take till we're alone sitting on the front porch of that home stomping our feet on the wooden boards never gonna worry about locking the door LM: See? It's about wishing for a simpler time, a simpler place... where we don't have to lock our doors against the outside world. It's an anthem for change.GA: Now look, you're carrying on like some kind of damned dirty degenerate hippy Meathead. I'm just saying, the bright acoustic rhythms of "Hotel Yorba" land closer to bluegrass than Baez.LM: (singing) How many hotels must a man stay in before he... um... I'm not good at this, let me think... what would be suitably peace-loving and inoffensive....GA: Here's the thing. Besides the deviated preversions of hippiness, you're going to have folks thinking that "Hotel Yorba" is some horrible, unlistenable dour Joan Baez foolishness.LM: I'm not listening to you. (singing) The answer, my friend, is at the Hotel Yorba... GA: Stop that. In the names of Jack and Meg and all else that is holy, you stop that right now! If it's going to be compared to Dylan, it would NOT be that earnest preachy political crap. It'd be bouncy fun Dylan, like the classic 115th dream or "Rainy Day Woman #12 & 35."LM: You're not any fun at all. GA: Au contraire, little Miss Monkey. "Hotel Yorba" is a lot more fun than overly earnest political crap. Plus, it's more productive. The song climaxes with a marriage proposal Let's get married in a big cathedral by a priest coz if i'm the man you love the most you can say i do at least Thus, you can take this song and "Expecting" from the same record as a more personal rather than a political prophecy. Our Dear Leader is a man of the people, but he is also a man- if you know what I mean. He took Karen Elson as his bride in the summer. Mrs Jack's publicist announced last week that she's pregnant.LM: The revolution will live on!ROOTS OF A REVOLUTION! ------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music40614@blogcritics.org Thu, 8 Dec 2005 11:11:26 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/12/01/145858.php monkey2manLegendaryMonkey: Loving denizens of White Stripes Nation, I, your (or at least Al's, which may or may not be creepy, now that I think about it...) Beloved Revolutionary Sweetheart has so much enjoyed her holiday hiatus! Now, fortified with tryptophan and leftover pie, I am ready to beat the drum again for the revolution! Today we bring you:"Fell in Love With a Girl" White Blood Cells, 2002LM: To start with the obvious point, "Fell in Love With a Girl" constitutes one of Jack and Meg's most straight down the center Ramones attacks. 110 seconds of pure punk goodness.Generalisimo Alberto: Or again, early Kinks or Who would be relevant. LM: I've heard it said by many that this was the best punk song of 2002, and to hell with the fact that there was no real competition. Certainly crap like Avril Lavigne doesn't qualify. GA: Any way you want to look at it, Jack doesn't even need a seven nation army here. His one simple guitar slams down those dirty power pop chords like the US laying down the law in the streets of Baghdad.LM: Alberto... do NOT call this pop again or I will be forced to speak for at least an hour on why punk is not pop. And I may crush your larynx or something equally painful and irritating.GA: There's no inherent contradiction between pop and punk, musically speaking. It depends on how you play out the contradictions of "punk rock." On the one hand, there was the idea of being studiously anti-social and spitting in the face of the industry. But the basic musical values ran to short and sweet stripped down pop song structure. The Sex Pistols were playing Chuck Berry style more than anything.The Who are often considered the fathers of punk rock, and those early records that are the basis of that reputation were conceived as popular recordings for radio play and mass consumption. "My Generation" is a perfectly catchy little pop tune.Certainly the Ramones were pop music. Their whole conceptual framework was short, sweet pop construction based on classic bubblegum. The Ramones wrote bubblegum with balls.In short, "Fell In Love With a Girl" is pure, sweet hard candy pop music- and perfectly credible punk rock. To mix my candy metaphors, punk and pop are like a Reese Cup- two great tastes that taste great together.LM: I'll buy anything if you explain it with candy metaphors. But there may still be beatings later. Carry on.GA: The lyrics describe the comic dilemma of a leader torn between being a man of the people, but also a man. It's sort of like Premier Kisof or Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ, torn between social obligation and wanting to impregnate Mary Magdalene. One side of the brain wants to run with the evil redhead, but the other side knows that he's got a revolution to engineer. Red hair with a curl mellow roll for the flavor and the eyes for peeping can't keep away from the girl these two sides of my brain need to have a meeting can't think of anything to do my left brain knows that all love is fleeting LM: And if you want to look at this in some context that doesn't sound like it came from Pinky and the Brain, this is again about an a woman who seems awfully easy to judge - a theme we've seen before in "You're Pretty Good Looking." Here we have a woman who is obviously seeing someone else, who is "looking for something new." She says "come and kiss me by the riverside, Bobby says it's fine he don't consider it cheating" ...... she's just looking for something new and I said it once before but it bears repeating LM: So, this is an attraction that is purely physical, for a woman who is grounded in the physical, and I sense here a hunger for something more... something cerebral. But to hell with it, it's a song, a moment, a kiss - and what's it really matter in the end, right? And that simplicity of thought and action mirrors the song itself and is a monument to punk sensibilities. Viva la revolution! Go back to the beginning of WHITE STRIPES NATION!------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music39551@blogcritics.org Thu, 1 Dec 2005 14:58:58 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/11/17/214939.php monkey2manMatthew 18:3 - Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Generalissimo Alberto: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. Would you be mine?LegendaryMonkey: Oh, geez, we're playing Bible verse again too, I see. Alright, at least I know what to expect. Albert, do I need to go count the blue pills? Are you chewing down all your meds again?GA: No, really. I only had one. It's just a nice day. We should go out and play.LM: Oooh! This is something I can get into with hand-clapping abandon. Perhaps you can leave the Pinky and the Brain-inspired plans for world domination on hold, and we can kick through the autumn leaves."We're Going to Be Friends" White Blood Cells, 2002 Well here we are, no one else we walked to school all by ourselves there's dirt on our uniforms from chasing all the ants and worms we clean up and now its time to learn ... Numbers, letters, learn to spell nouns, and books, and show and tell at playtime we will throw the ball back to class, through the hall teacher marks our height against the wall LM: Here are Jack and Meg as little children playing with bugs and worms on their way to class. You could just cry at the tender purity of the love in this song, a love not yet complicated by sexuality and other grown up issues. It's very rainbows-and-lollipops.GA: This is the White Stripes most direct Jonathan Richman play. This reversion to childhood would mirror, for example, "Back in Your Life." There's a big difference in the vibe, though. Richman offers himself up as a fool for love in "Back in Your Life." He's offering himself up for mockery when he expresses a desire to help the girl's mama with the pancakes. Whereas Jack drops "We Are Going to Be Friends" right in the middle of a collection of otherwise clearly adult songs, without that obvious extreme self-consciousness crowding him.LM: I dunno, I rather see this as the pinnacle of a very straightforward album. White Blood Cells is the "love" album. Every song has something to do with love and relationships, and as I said, this is the look at love before it gets complicated. But it goes beyond that -- this song is as pure as a hymn on Sunday morning, and it's the gleeful top-o-the-world moment on an emotional roller coaster. It's all part of the same cycle -- this is just the upswing.But I don't want to argue. I want to go roll around in the grass and sketch pictures in the dust with a stick. Or maybe climb a tree and skin my knee. And then maybe we can strum on a guitar and sing folk songs!GA: Okay, let's not start like some Joan Baez pinko folk singer, or I'ma have to start rounding up damned hippies, and putting them to the lash. Tracy Chapman, are you listening?LM: Now Al, you've been so good up till now. Let's keep it on the love track. How about a nice game of hopscotch?GA: You mean play a game representing how Jack White's guitar army will leap across the country, seizing territory for The People?LM: Yes, exactly. I've got some colored chalk. We can draw a map on the sidewalk with all the countries, and we can hopscotch across it.GA: Wheeeee!Come hand in hand with us, back to the beginning of WHITE STRIPES NATION!------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music39372@blogcritics.org Thu, 17 Nov 2005 21:49:39 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/11/16/211717.php monkey2manLegendaryMonkey: Well, my newly initiated candy cane dreamers, we have now jammed and rocked out with Our Heroes Jack and Meg through their first two albums. De Stijl, their sophomore recording, and the subject of our last few manifestos, saw the White Stripes gain some small measure of fame, and they were feeling the burn when they kicked out the jams on their third album, White Blood Cells.And as we have learned so far, children, Jack and Meg are all about statements. Love 'em or hate 'em, the White Stripes have got something to say... and here in today's offering, they're talking about fame -- something that would later become a recurring theme for the band (see also: "The Union Forever," "Seven Nation Army," and "Blue Orchid")."Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground" White Blood Cells, 2002LM: "Dead Leaves" is a wistful song about sacrifice and regret and it kicks off an album that is all about love -- both the ups and the downs of that heady emotion. And the music behind it mirrors that -- the drums break out and fade back and the guitar rips and wails through this emotional wasteland. Don't get me wrong, it's all very low key, but it's an avalanche of passion just waiting to burst -- but being held back. Because, after all... the choice has already been made. Any man with a microphone can tell you what he loves the most. But he's still gotta live with it.GA: The squealing fuzz of Jack's guitar would peg this as an example of "grunge rock." But this is not the whining I'ma-blow-my-miserable-brains-out of Nirvana. No, "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground" is the White Stripes deepest romantic statement, very distant emotionally from Kurt Cobain. Rather, "Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground" is the best song Neil Young never wrote. Specifically, this is a direct spiritual descendent of "Cinnamon Girl." I don't want to get all crazy in the head and claim that Jack outdid the very best Neil Young song ever, but the two will go head to head. Dead leaves and the dirty ground when I know you're not around shiny tops and soda pops when I hear your lips make a sound when I hear your lips make a sound ... I didn't feel so bad till the sun went down then I come home no one to wrap my arms around ... Well any man with a microphone can tell you what he loves the most and you know why you love at all if you're thinking of the holy ghost if you're thinking of the holy ghost GA: I particularly appreciate how Jack underlines the spiritual nature of the romance with the religious connection in the closing line of lyrics.LM: It's a theme that is reinforced by the video, as well -- we see a ghostly Meg, a past vision, moving out of the house whilst a lost and wandering Jack climbs over the rubble of a relationship. This video, as with all their others, is available on the Official White Stripes Website.GA: It's a take charge kind of love that will overcome resistance. The descending notes of Jack's opening guitar statement will grind resistance into dirt, like so many whining Smiths fans and goths beneath our jackboots. Hell, yeah!As a note of personal testimonial, my first exposure to the White Stripes was when they played this song on Saturday Night Live. That was probably the biggest stopped-dead-by-a-new-thang musical moment I'd had since first hearing "When Doves Cry" in 1984.LM: For me, it was "Fell In Love With a Girl," but I had the same stopped-dead, jaw-dropping OH MY GOD sort of reaction. It was only reinforced when I heard this song -- which was the second I ever heard from Dear Leader and his filthy assistant."Dead Leaves," like the opening songs on all the White Stripes albums, sets the stage for everything that comes after. From the first electric puff of sound, we know this album is about the spectrum of human relationships and that we're going on a ride. And I might even make the leap and say that "Dead Leaves" encapsulates the White Stripes as a whole, that their entire being, their band-ness, if you will (observe as I create words and leap tall buildings in a single bound, chillun). If Elephant is the British album, and Get Behind Me Satan is experimental, and De Stijl is about the basics, then White Blood Cells is what being the White Stripes is all about. And "Dead Leaves" is the soul of the album.Go back to the beginning of WHITE STRIPES NATION!------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music39371@blogcritics.org Wed, 16 Nov 2005 21:17:17 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/11/08/204913.php monkey2manGeneralissimo Alberto: When you think about it, the early Jack White is like reading the wise poetry of King David...LegendaryMonkey: Al, are you out your tree, boy? 'Cause you are surely not in mine.GA: The Psalms, Monkey, the music of the wise philosopher-king in training.LM: You were only supposed to get ONE of the blue ones, weren't you? You told me you were supposed to get two, but that wasn't quite true, was it Generalissimo Alberto Limbaugh?GA: Look, you do NOT want me undermedicated. LM: Two can play at that crazy game there, Generalissimo. I've got some scripture for Jack, from the Song of Solomon, "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine."GA: Stop with your whoredoms, woman. I gots your Song of Solomon, "Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats" Now, let's get down to business, explaining the classic "Apple Blossom."LM: No one understands the purity of lust around here. I'll just got sit in my tree and let him vent for a bit, but I'm keeping those pills with me... 'cause you ain't trustworthy, Alberto."Apple Blossom" De Stijl, 2000GA: You could definitely see Ray Davies' DNA in the White Stripes. As Jack and Meg's first album had a good bit of that hard pop embryonic Kinks sound, you can hear on this cut from the White Stripes' second album the next stage of the Kinks early development. Call this garage baroque style, if you will. Both songwriters are expanding the length and complexity of their melody lines. They're also broadening the arrangement palettes a little bit, tending toward unusual experimental sound textures within fairly simple garage band auspices."Dead End Street" from 1966 would be a relatively close model for "Apple Blossom" stylistically. The combination of dominant piano and acoustic guitar, and the harpsichords, something sounding that way. Jack got a pretty good texture out of acoustic guitar rhythms surrendering to a piano in the first chorus, joining them together from the midway pointThe lyric is ultimately a marriage invitation- or more a quiet commandment. Jack's gentle but manly taking of command shows the emergence of his poetic voice. "Put your troubles in a little pile, and I will sort them out for you." Hey little apple blossom what seems to be the problem all the ones you tell your troubles to they don't really care for you ....... Come and sit with me and talk awhile let me see your pretty little smile put your troubles in a little pile and i will sort them out for you I'll fall in love with you I think I'll marry youLM: See, I think you have to go back a few years earlier to really dig on this one, to 1963 and the beginning of Beatlemania. Whereas "You're Pretty Good Looking" is straight up homage to The Kinks, this one is all about the Beatles. The White Stripes are, with De Stijl, playing up to the two foundations of modern rock -- Britpop and the blues. The album is named for a Dutch-inspired era in art that celebrated the essentials of form and color, and this album is about the essentials of rock. And the songs are split pretty evenly between heavy blues (including some covers) and good old pop-rock from the 1960s. It's a celebration of what makes modern music good, in the vein of the artistic movement of the same name.It's clever, and what's more, it's good, and it's complete. Even the lyrics hearken back to a simpler time, and we want to go there with them and enjoy it. And we'd like all of you to come along as well -- to WHITE STRIPES NATION!------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music39098@blogcritics.org Tue, 8 Nov 2005 20:49:13 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/11/02/152338.php monkey2manLegendaryMonkey: Welcome, music fans, to part five of White Stripes Nation, wherein the Generalissimo and I attempt to convince -- or in his case, force -- you to accept Jack and Meg White as your personal saviors. Or at least, as a really, really good band. Today's offering?"Hello Operator" De Stijl, 2000Generalissimo Alberto: Right here's my top favorite from anything on the first two albums. One good point of reference for this hard guitar pop would be your early Who. Those nice, hard clean guitar chords would sound right in your iPod next to, say, "The Kids Are Alright."But an even closer comparison stylistically would be the immortal 1977 Ram Jam classic "Black Betty." That Leadbelly song became a rock hard guitar record, yet still totally catchy radio bubblegum. Likewise, "Hello Operator" rates as one of the most direct fulfillments of the whole candy-cane aspect of the White Stripes idea.Note also how the Ram Jam recording speaks prophetically of the White Stripes revolution to come: "Black Betty had a child, bam a lam. The damned thing's gone wild, bam a lam." Thus, Ram Jam foretell how the black man will soon be rising up against the current regime, helping to sweep Jack White into power, becoming the first black president.LM: Al? Honeychile? I think you done lost your mind there. Jack White is about as black as a little blonde nymphet from Livonia, Michigan. And while Livonia is technically part of Detroit... well, that ain't the point. Point is, the boy may have soul, but ain't no law as says a white boy can't have soul. It just don't make him black. But the music, Alberto... talk about the music!GA: Jack's at least as black as Bill Clinton. At least there'll be no damned whitebread Fleetwood Mac crap at this inaugaration.LM: Mama's gonna confiscate your weed and send you to bed with no dessert if you don't hush this foolishness and get back on track. GA: Yes, ma'am. This record speaks well to Jack's strengths as a guitar player. He is often rightly touted as one of the all time great rock guitarists. But many people scoff at this claim, saying that Jack just isn't all that technically. Technically, that's right. "Hello Operator" has some of Jack's best playing- but it's not all that fancy or athletic. Any decent local bar band should be able to more or less reproduce what he's doing. Theoretically, Yngwie Malmsteen can play rings around Jack White. He can certainly play faster, more precise flurries of notes than Jack ever will- and you probably won't remember a lick of it five minutes later. But you'll likely be struggling to get these relatively simple chords of "Hello Operator" out of your head so you can try to think of something else. It's the same principle as classic Chuck Berry: It's how meaningful and memorable the lines are, not how difficult they are to play. The hard part is thinking them up, not the actual playing.LM: Oh, please, allow me to retort. For those of us younger folk who love, y'know, punk... we've all learned that less really can be more. From the Sex Pistols and The Ramones to right here in "Hello Operator" -- which is a whole different brand of music, but with a little punk dribbling down the side like extra hot fudge -- simple arrangements have been proven to produce some of the most fantastic songs, well, ever. And as for difficulty factor... well, anyone who's seen Jack bust it live can testify that the boy can play. But please, continue. You're the expert. I just add the spices to taste.GA: Meg gets some of that meaningful rather than difficult dynamic in the classic percussion gimmick of this record. Twice, all the guitar stops, leaving just a few taps on the rim of her snare. The childlike simplicity of this little move comes straight out of the Jonathan Richman playbook. It's really quite clever. It's a catchy hook itself. Also though, it brings it all down, and cleanses the palette for Jack to come charging back with the big guitar chords.LM: There's more to the playful aspect than just the music, too. As a child in the 1980s (along with Jack and Meg themselves), I remember a little playground rhyme: "Miss Susie went to heaven / Her tug boat went to HELL-O operator / Give me number nine." The first time I heard "Hello Operator," that old rhyme floated back up into my memory and it was stuck in my head for days. But even more than that, the words "hello, operator" are a cultural staple, something we've all heard in old movies or old television shows. Even those of us who grew up long after direct dial are familiar with the phrase. It prefaces a plea; the connotation is inescapable.So what is the plea here? It seems to tie in with Jack and Meg's well known disdain for over-produced records. Look at these two lines: "Find a canary / a bird to bring my message home." What happens when the phones fail? Or, the deeper message... without technology, where is music? How many bands out there could function and produce anything worthwhile without a producer cleaning up the vocals, or hell, without anything more than an old guitar and a set of bongo drums?The Clay Aikens and Nickelbacks of the world would be in a sad, sorry state. And why, dear music fans?'Cause they ain't got soul. GA: Or basic talent. Up against the wall, Clay Aiken!LM: Yes, Al. Time for your meds.VIVA LA REVOLUTION! ------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music38915@blogcritics.org Wed, 2 Nov 2005 15:23:38 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/10/31/021610.php monkey2manLegendaryMonkey: In our continuing quest to convince the masses that the White Stripes are the heirs of all that is pure and good and absolute--Generalissimo Alberto: ...and that they should clench the world in their iron fists, imposing peace and justice.LM: Right, right, rule the world, however you want it... anyway, in our quest to sway music fans everywhere to our cause, we present the White Stripes with a manifesto of their own:"You're Pretty Good Looking" De Stijl, 2000LM: The opening track from De Stijl, which is either the most loved or the most ignored album in the White Stripes catalogue, depending on who is talking about it, is a retro throwback to the time when rock was innocent and new. On the face, at least. The lyrics tell a different story, but we'll get into that in a moment. The song is a sweet puff of sound, reminiscent of early Beatles and the Kinks. Of course, even when Jack and Meg are clearly riffing on an earlier musical theme, as they are here, they never quite slide fully into the mold, and the guitar opens on on "You're Pretty Good Looking" in a way that we would have never heard back in the 1960s. GA: This is raw pop. Early Kinks is just the right point of comparison. It's a joining point where "pop" and "garage band" and "punk" all come back together. It's a perfectly catchy, bouncy little radio friendly pop tune, with a purposeful tinge of crudity in the performance and recording. Those with less education in the subtlety of radical rhetoric than the leaders of this junta might understandably mistake this for lost Kinks circa 1963.LM: But what I find particularly interesting here are the lyrics. Now, Alberto there is gonna tell you that mention of broken backs and futuristic dates means that this is a blueprint for the revolution at hand... that the proletariat (those of us with the broken backs) are gonna rise up and will have cemented power by 2525... but I see something completely different here. GA: Our beloved revolutionary sweetheart struggles to unlock the deeply encoded insurgent messages from our Dear Leader's pen, but she misses the mark. "You're pretty good looking for a girl," but as an insurrectionist leader of historical import, he and we don't have time to indulge our personal romantic strategies. Your back is being broken by The Man, by the oppression of the Bush regime. No personal issues can be addressed until this pressure is removed and enemies of the revolution such as Kenny Chesney have been Dealt With.LM: Al, you better not be making threats over there. For those of you interested in logic.... This is tongue-in-cheek love song. The object of desire is too popular for her own good, and has let it go to her head... and Jack is telling her that while she's a hottie and he would like to hit that, he's not gonna get down on his knees and kiss her feet just because all the other boys do. And I say, right on! This is an anthem TO feminism... ladies, if you want to be truly equal in all things, including relationships, you can't hold a stable of boy toys and yet expect respect, no matter what Madonna and Sex in the City tells you. So sayeth the Monkeygirl, at least. Oh yeah you're pretty good looking for a girl but your back is so broken and this feelings still gonna linger on until the year 2525 nowYeah you're pretty good looking for a girl your eyes are wide open and your thoughts have been stolen by the boys who took you out and bought you everything you want now GA: The White Stripes also get credit here for brevity. They make a whole song- complete with a bridge- and then get the hell out in 111 seconds. Concision is an underappreciated artistic virtue. So many songs these days are compromised or ruined by just being drug out past the breaking point that the underlying composition can support. If you've got a three minute song, and you're still playing it five or six minutes later- you're losing rather than gaining points.LM: Psst, Alberto -- that's the punk influence creeping in, my man. Short, simple, loud and sweet. That said....VIVA LA REVOLUTION! And see where it all began. ------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music38697@blogcritics.org Mon, 31 Oct 2005 02:16:10 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/10/26/004116.php monkey2manLegendaryMonkey: No sense wasting time on BS today, Alberto, though I know that's hard for you. Let's get right down and dirty and all up in it with:"Sugar Never Tasted So Good" The White Stripes, 1999Generalissmo Alberto: The White Stripes started out framing themselves as some kind of "punk rock." That serves several purposes in image making, and stressing some idea of rock's primal values. However, "punk rock" is only marginally useful in specific musical terms, probably even less so than descriptions a generation earlier of Elvis Costello as "punk rock."This song makes a good example. About half the DNA for early White Stripes comes from old, pre-electric blues like this. "Sugar Never Tasted So Good" is a simple acoustic blues, and well outside the range and palette of punk. No big name punk classic like the Clash, Sex Pistols nor even the Ramones could have ever approached this.LM: Hold up there, Generalissmo Fascismo. I would like to interject here that there is, in fact, something that links punk rock and the blues most intimately (though I wouldn't classify this song as punk... I'm just sayin'). Whereas rock and roll took the electricity and unpredictability of the blues and ran with it, many traditional blues songs are simplistic and repetitive... one sound around which the lyrics wind and wail and sob, if there are even lyrics. And that's where punk came in, taking its cue from both rock and its Big Mama Blues. The simplicity of old school punk was boiled down to a few chords and a wall of sound, screaming, crashing lyrics laid over those few repetitive sounds. It's the repetition that links punk with the blues, though I may get tarred and feathered for saying so. GA: Oh, punk rock certainly relates to the blues. For starters, nearly all rock music is built on basic blues scales and chord changes. But to most punk rock types, it's all from a removed distance, heard through Who or Zeppelin records or such. Especially, most punk rock types wouldn't be listening to really old acoustic blues. I doubt John Lydon ever paid any mind to Missisippi John Hurt, for example.LM: Good point. Punk is a cousin to the blues, twice-removed via marriage and sluttery. I'm digging it.GA: This is a pretty good basic blues melody with a decent simple hook. But what really makes the song is the way that they play with the time and the rhythms behind it. That sounds like the Robert Johnson coming out, subtle stuff that doesn't register on the bludgeoning minds of most punk types.Meg also gets some of this in her own stripped-down way. She's had number of strong hooks based on the tiniest, simplest few beats. Those three little beats that open the record really work, and the recurrences usefully mark off restarts after Jack slows it down and stops. Other than that, she's mostly the bass drum, plus a bit of tambourine and Jack tapping his acoustic guitar. That's old school.LM: Definitely old school - and draws that further connection to punk. Blues, punk, rock, whatever... it's all as incestuous as a European monarchy. Meg's sparse beats, despite the vicious remarks of all the hatas out there who haven't fallen in with the democratic movement, are and have always been pure punk-inspired, though she was more restrained on these earlier tracks, as counterpoint to the wail of Jack's guitar. Alberto my man, you know you're not as up on punk... you'd better just leave that part to me. GA: Womanchild, I was all up in that punk rock while you was still up in your mommy. I'm OG-- or perhaps just old. Either way, respect my authori-tah!Also, respect Jack's authori-tah as one who -- like Jesus -- came not to bring peace, but a sword. The lyrics further outline the blueprint for the revolution to come. Sugar never tasted so good Sugar never tasted good to me Yeah Until her eyes crossed over Until her mind crossed over Until her soul fell next to meNow If the wrinkle that is in your brain Has given you quite a steam Your fingers have become a crane Pulling on these puppet stringsThe intoxicating sugar candy of revolution never tasted as sweet as it should until the proletarian monkey gave her soul to Jack and the revolution. Now she has become as a God, pulling the puppet strings, making politicians and captains of industry do our revolutionary bidding.LM: I'll give something to Jack White... is "soul" what the kids are calling it these days?GA: Restrain your lustful thoughts, womanchild. Jack White is the leader of a revolutionary movement, and he does not have time to indulge your whoredoms. Besides which, Jack needs to remain chaste, protecting the purity of his essence and preserving his strength for battles to come.LM: Get with the times, Albert. A little sugar never damaged any modern revolution... at least, not any worth having. And ain't nothing wrong with purity through a sexual higher consciousness. But this isn't just coming from my, dear friend -- take another look at the lyrics. Where you see the puppet strings of power, I see desire and flirtation. Sexual innuendo is old hat when it comes to the blues. All the good old music is full of it, and the White Stripes leave no stone of the blues unturned. All I'm saying is, it works! And what better way to convince the masses than to get them panting for more? All I can say is... I got your sugar right here, Jackie boy. GA: Alright then, the monkey is ready for rock and roll, dope, and humping in the streets. I say that's too much monkey business. Plus, we got barricades to man. So get out and kill a commie (or a Nickelback fan) for mommy (or Meg), and we'll be back soon with another communique.Viva la revolution!See the beginning of WHITE STRIPES NATION!------------------- LegendaryMonkey Alisha Karabinus provides the inner voice of sweet reason for evolved primates at Sudden Nothing.Al Barger plots the overthrow of the government and his continuing crusade for Moorish dignity at More Things.THIS IS WHITE STRIPES NATION! Music38357@blogcritics.org Wed, 26 Oct 2005 00:41:16 EDT