http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Mon, 25 Jul 2005 18:07:17 EDT http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding. Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/07/25/180717.php copygoddI'm sure you all remember the major fight that took place last year between Jon Stewart of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Tucker Carlson (then) of Crossfire. (If not, read about it here.) Anyway, now that Tucker has a new show on MSNBC, guess where he's advertising? That's right, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Video33118@blogcritics.org Mon, 25 Jul 2005 18:07:17 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/06/10/010537.php copygodd In a trial that seemed to lower the bar for weirdness with every passing day, it should come as no surprise that jury deliberations have taken an unexpected twist. Tinfoil Hat Pundit has learned the jury in the Michael Jackson child molestation case has asked the judge for a "little leeway" in their deliberations.Specifically, they'd like permission to deliver a verdict other than "Guilty" or "Not Guilty."A family member of Juror #7, speaking on condition of anonymity, tells us the jury has asked the judge if they can instead find Jackson "Guilty by Reason of Insanity.""Look, we all know he did it," said the family member. "And we all know he's crazy. But he ain't that crazy." If allowed, the new "Guilty by Reason of Insanity" verdict would set a new, and some say dangerous, precedent. Noted defense attorney Allen Dirtowitz said it would make his job "insanely more difficult." Prosecutors, however, are said to be crazy about the idea. Culture30811@blogcritics.org Fri, 10 Jun 2005 01:05:37 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/05/24/014340.php copygoddWhile Paris Hilton has been burning for weeks over her falling out with former The Simple Life co-star Nicole Richie, the hotel heiress famous for being famous still refuses to say what prompted the feud.In April, Hilton had this to say about her one-time best friend: "It's no big secret that Nicole and I are no longer friends. Nicole knows what she did, and that's all I'm ever going to say about it."Rumors over "what Nicole did" have been buzzing around the Internet ever since, from reports of Richie falling off the wagon (she once spent time in a "drug-diversion" program after pleading guilty to a felony heroin possession charge in 2003) to plans for releasing a competing sex tape.However, the recent photographs of Richie in Star Magazine seem to point the finger at Nicole's drastic weight loss.This was verified by a source close to both women, who revealed that Hilton, in a last-ditch effort to save their friendship, even went so far as to arrange for Nicole to co-star in her recent commercial for Carl's Jr., "just so she (Nicole) would eat something," said the source. "But Nicole wouldn't cooperate, so Paris had to cut her loose.""It was a really painful decision by Paris," the source revealed. "But at the end of the day, there's just no way she (Paris) was going to share screen time with someone skinnier and skankier-looking than she is." Culture30046@blogcritics.org Tue, 24 May 2005 01:43:40 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/05/03/160014.php copygoddDULUTH, Georgia (THP) -- Cable news executives from CNN, FOX and MSNBC are expressing disappointment over the safe return of runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks over the weekend. "Just as we were gearing up for another compelling human interest story, to have the rug pulled out from under us like that, that's hard to take," said a FOX staffer on condition of anonymity. "I still can't believe she faked the whole thing. What a disappointing turn of events."In fact, the saga ended so quickly the networks were unable to brand it with the special type of graphic or musical "sting" stories of this magnitude are usually given. Although FOX News producers had commissioned a new piece of music, said to have been reminiscent of an Alfred Hitchcock movie, and MSNBC is reported to have been just minutes from revealing a splashy new CG intro built around a "kidnapped bride" theme, both projects have been shelved for the foreseeable future. CNN is especially disappointed, however, as they'd looked to this story to help them draw closer to FOX in the ratings. "No pun intended, but FOX absolutely killed us on Scott Peterson," said a CNN staffer. "But this (Duluth) was in our own backyard. There was no way Rupert's boys were going to beat us on this one." "Now the only hope we have is for the authorities to take some sort of legal action against her (Wilbanks)," the staffer continued. "With any luck we should be able to get a couple days out of that before getting back to 24-hour Michael Jackson coverage." Culture28992@blogcritics.org Tue, 3 May 2005 16:00:14 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/04/15/182221.php copygodd--WARNING: SATIRE AHEAD--In a stunning courtroom development, prosecutors put one-time Michael Jackson protege "Rockwell" on the stand to testify against the former "King of Pop". Rockwell, whose real name is Kennedy William Gordy, testified that Michael Jackson was the inspiration for his '80s hit, "Somebody's Watching Me".Gordy, the son of Motown founder Berry Gordy, explained, saying "I was watching Michael with some kids one day, and it just kind of hit me what a freak he was. The way he was always watching them, like he was undressing them with his eyes. It really creeped me out. And that's where the song came from. I just put myself in the mind of one of the little boys, and how it would feel to be around Michael. Of course, I had to change the words a little to keep from being sued, but I think people knew who I was talking about."Sample lyrics from Rockwell's song include: I always feel like somebody's watching me And I have no privacy (oh oh oh) .... When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid to wash my hair 'Cause I might open my eyes and find someone standing thereMichael's freakish behavior was also the inspiration for some of the creepier shots in the accompanying music video. "All those shots you see of me hiding in the closet, or standing in the shower with my boxers on, or running through the house trying to get away from that pig-dog, that's all Michael," said Rockwell. "Seriously. You wouldn't believe the stories I used to hear about him in the studio. My little nephew said every time he turned around Michael was sneaking up on him, dropping a bar of soap and asking him to pick it up, that sort of shit.""Thank God by the time I recorded the song with him I already had my pubes, that's all I'm saying." Culture28203@blogcritics.org Fri, 15 Apr 2005 18:22:21 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/04/05/010913.php copygodd(A modified version of this post first appeared at my site, ingrown brain stem.) First there was "What Sucks, copygodd?". Then there was the sporadic appearance of "Who Is Smarter Than Whom?. Now, I'm proud to introduce the next big gimmick here at the stem: "What Would copygodd Do?". Here's how it works: You ask me a question and I tell you what I'd do.Of course, since it's a brand new bit, nobody's had a chance to ask a question yet. So I'll start off with one from my good friend scoop newsworthy over at Tinfoil Hat Pundit. Q: Even before September 11, illegal immigration was a serious problem. But now our porous border is no longer just a source of cheap labor; it's also a matter of national security. Since the federal government refuses to fulfill its constitutional duty, citizens' groups such as the Minuteman Project are taking matters into their own hands. Given the chance to fix the problem of illegal immigration, what would copygodd do? A: Good question, scoop (if that is your real name). As I see it, the two biggest obstacles to fixing the immigration crisis are documentation and deterrence. The illegals aren't documented, which makes them hard to find and deport. And there's no real deterrent to keep them from returning when we do deport them. To fix the documentation problem, the President has offered up his "It's Not Amnesty Because I Say It's Not Amnesty" Amnesty program, wherein he'd grant amnesty to all illegals who are here to do the jobs that "Americans won't do", ie pick lettuce, pick fruit, etc... To fix the deterrence problem, he's offered up nothing. Here's what copygodd would do...First off, I'd go ahead with the initial stages of Dubya's "INABISINA" Amnesty program, and tell all illegals to come in on a certain day and we'll give them documentation. Then, when they show up, I'd cut off the index finger of their right hand and deport them. Not only will this serve as a pretty strong deterrent against their returning, it will also make it easy to spot them if they do decide to break the law and sneak back in to the country. Plus, the legal aliens (with whom I have no problem) will always make sure they have their identification, for fear of having a finger chopped off and being deported. Of course, under our current system, a high percentage of illegal aliens are repeat offenders: we catch them, ship them home, and the following week we catch them again. President Bush's plan does nothing to address this problem. However, under my plan, every time we catch them, we simply chop off another finger. After their eighth capture, we kill them. Because everyone knows you can't pick anything if you don't have any fingers. And that's what copygodd would do.How 'bout yourself? Politics27754@blogcritics.org Tue, 5 Apr 2005 01:09:13 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/04/01/174558.php copygoddIt didn't take long for disgraced anchorman Dan Rather to get back in the news game, announcing today he has signed an exclusive deal to author a weekly column for Tinfoil Hat Pundit."After the forged memos, 'Rathergate' I believe is what a lot of people were calling it, I'll admit I had a slight hitch in my giddy up," explained a rather surprised Rather in an afternoon phone interview. "But thanks to the generous folks at THP, I've corrected that."Prior to "Rathergate", Rather said his career had been "humming along like Ray Charles, swinging like Count Basie." But once he went public with what turned out to be forged documents, suddenly his career was "shakier than cafeteria Jell-O."He seemed genuinely surprised at the reaction to his gaffe. "I thought that after three-plus decades of top-notch journalism, I'd be able to ride out one simple mistake," he said. "But those on the right, especially the bloggers, they beat me like a rented mule."Because of the pounding his reputation took, Rather is the first to admit he needs to toe the line in his new position. "In many ways, my tenure here is as thin as November ice," he explained. "And if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a hand gun."The chance to actually write again is one of the main reasons Rather is taking the job at Tinfoil Hat Pundit. "As a network anchorman, I lived by the crystal ball," he said, "and I was eating so much broken glass, I was in critical condition."Asked what readers should expect from his new column, Rather was silent for a moment, seemingly collecting his thoughts before answering, "Frankly, I don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon." Video27632@blogcritics.org Fri, 1 Apr 2005 17:45:58 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/17/215720.php copygodd Smeagol and American Idol 4 contestant Constantine Maroulis.Negative hat tip to Ed Adkins for putting the thought in my pointy little head. Music26905@blogcritics.org Thu, 17 Mar 2005 21:57:20 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/16/112016.php copygoddIn light of the upcoming Homeland Security Department report outlining a dozen "frightening if hypothetical scenarios," terrorist-mastermind Osama bin Laden has reportedly sent gourmet gift baskets to President Bush and others in the administration. "On behalf of myself, and my fellow terrorists, I'd like to personally thank the Bush administration for their wonderful suggestions as to how to best destroy the Great Satan," said the world's most wanted terrorist, on a videotape aired on Al Jazeera television this morning."Spreading pneumonic plague in public restrooms...Infecting cattle with foot and mouth disease...these are some seriously great ideas," said bin Laden."Sure, we were already thinking about the nuclear, excuse me, my English is not so good, I mean nukyaler, option, but blowing up a chlorine tank? That's genius. Who would've guessed a single tank could kill 17,500 infidels? Certainly not me," he continued."And did you know that an 'estimated 350,000 people could be exposed to an anthrax attack by my Holy Warriors spraying the biological weapon from a truck driving through five cities over two weeks'? I didn't. But according to this report, an estimated 13,200 people could die. That's great news. For us, at least."Bin Laden went on to say he hopes the President and other administration officials enjoy the gourmet gift baskets. "I'd love to give Mr. Bush a something a bit more personal, perhaps some homemade falafel, but something like that is a bit hard to arrange when you're living in a cave. All I have to say is thank Allah we still get the Internet." Sci/Tech26819@blogcritics.org Wed, 16 Mar 2005 11:20:16 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/08/133313.php copygoddThe strange sad saga of Michael Jackson continued today when former child-star Emmanuel (Webster) Lewis announced he was suing Michael Jackson for non-molestation. "I'm so tired of hearing 'Michael did this to me,' and 'Michael did that to me'," said the diminuitive star, who was last seen giggling uncontrollably on The Surreal Life. "In all the time we hung out together, Michael never touched my penis. Not once. Hell, he never even offered me any 'Jesus Juice'. And I've carried that shame with me for long enough."Lewis' attorney, Roy Black, was quick to point out that Lewis is not asking for any money. According to Black, all his client wants is a public apology from Jackson. "For Emmanuel, this isn't about money," he explained. "And it never has been. It's about Emmanuel's fans, and the rest of the general public, knowing that while Michael did not sexually assault my client, he did, in fact, find him to be highly desirable."Mr. Lewis should not have to continue with the shame of being known as the one child Michael Jackson did not try to bugger." Culture26443@blogcritics.org Tue, 8 Mar 2005 13:33:13 EST