http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Sat, 28 Jan 2006 20:50:47 EST http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding. Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/28/205047.php Trish WilsonThe article Total Hysterectomy Can Kill The Joy Of Sex is a bit dry and academic, but it still made for a good read. Apparently, removal of the cervix after a hysterectomy can inhibit the sexual experience for women. Sometimes doctors remove a healthy cervix during hysterectomy in the event that the organ may become cancerous in the future. I don't agree with surgically removing perfectly healthy organs because they might become cancerous sometime in the future. I didn't know that in some hysterectomies, the ones where the cervix is removed, the top of the vagina is rolled down like a toothpaste tube and then sealed. Scar tissue will eventually grow in that area, which keeps it sealed. The problem with this is that some women who have had shortened vaginas spoke about painful intercourse.There are other very interesting points made in the article. I highly recommend my readers take a look at it.The article The Effect Of Hysterectomy On Sexual Functioning, which appeared in the Annual Report On Sex Research, described the physiology of orgasm in women:The uterus and cervix play a role in the physiology of orgasm. Orgasm appears to be a neurological genital reflex. A biphasic motor response results first in contractions of the smooth muscles of the fallopian tubes, uterus, and paraurethral glands of Skene. The second phase consists of contractions of the striated muscles located within the pelvic floor, perineum, and anal sphincter. The sensation of orgasm is probably caused by the sensory stimuli from the contractions of the internal genitalia (i.e., uterus, cervix, vagina) that reach the brain. The conscious recognition of these sensory impulses is believed to be the experience of orgasm (Hasson, 1993; Segraves & Segraves, 1993). As a consequence, it is conceivable that surgical removal of the uterus can affect orgasm. One possible reason for a woman's difficulty with sex after hysterectomy could be because of "surgical damage to the pelvic autonomic nerves during total hysterectomy." This damage "partially disrupts the nerve supply to the blood vessels of the vaginal wall, which is responsible for the neural control of the lubrication response." Some women have experienced a lack of lubrication after a hysterectomy. Surgical damage to the pelvic autonomic nerves may be the reason for that problem.In addition, changes in hormone levels may affect a woman's sex drive. According to The Effect Of Hysterectomy On Sexual Functioning, "physiological ovarian failure that takes place in postmenopausal women results in marked decreases of estrogen and androgen levels. The physiological decrease in estrogen levels is thought to be the cause of sexual dysfunctions in women, such as reduced vaginal lubrication and dyspareunia [painful intercourse] (McCoy, 1994)."Opposing views are out there about how hysterectomy affects a woman's sex drive and sexual experiences. According to Women's Health, "many women fear depression or other emotional changes following hysterectomy, but research shows no increase in depression occurs after hysterectomy. Some women are afraid they will lose their desire for sex, this too is untrue and your sex life should remain as pleasurable, if not more pleasurable once you are free of the cause of your hysterectomy."Regarding a woman's loss of sex drive after a hysterectomy, "data supported by extensive research indicates that neither aging nor hysterectomy affect sexual desire negatively. Despite the physical changes and problems that aging or a hysterectomy may bring about, most studies show that people continue to have satisfying sexual experiences throughout their life. Research results indicate that sexual desire before and after either menopause or hysterectomy is likely to remain unchanged and may even be enhanced."Women's Health also pointed out that "removal of your ovaries may cause a decrease in sexual desire which can improve with the use of estrogen." Your gynecologist may prescribe an estrogen cream or you may purchase one over the counter if dryness is a problem. Don't use petroleum jelly. You risk vaginal infection, and petroleum jelly can damage condoms and diaphragms.The Effect Of Hysterectomy On Sexual Functioning pointed out other factors that may affect a woman's sex drive and sexual experiences. The article stated "sexual functioning, or the report of sexual problems, is associated with age, race, mental health problems, relationship problems, and various socioeconomic conditions (Laumann, Paik, & Rosen, 1999). The quality of a woman's sexuality before and after hysterectomy is likely to be influenced by many of these factors. Psychosocial factors that contribute positively to sexual function include a healthy relationship with a partner, good general health of both partners, freedom from severe life stresses, and absence of financial worry. If one or more of these positive factors is negatively affected, it might disrupt sexual functioning."Women need not fear that they will lose their sexual desire after hysterectomy. They need not worry that a hysterectomy will negatively impact their sexual experiences. While some women have experienced difficulties after having a hysterectomy, many women go on to live healthy, enjoyable sex lives after the procedure. Culture42843@blogcritics.org Sat, 28 Jan 2006 20:50:47 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/28/155730.php Trish WilsonThere are an amazing number of sequels and remakes either already released or in the works now. I had no idea there were so many sequels and remakes coming out.When is Hollywood going to come up with something original that is good? One not on the list is a remake of that suspense classic "When A Stranger Calls". I rented the original starring Carol Kane not long ago from Netflix. I also bought it for my son's best friend for Christmas. He told me about the upcoming remake. Here are some remakes on the list:The Pink PantherThe 8th Voyage of Sinbad - If you haven't seen The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, find it. Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion animation makes that a good movie. He invented stop-motion animation.Basic Instinct 2 - Risk AddictionBeverly Hills Cop 4 - It's rumored that Quentin Tarantino will direct.The Breakfast Club 2 - Spare me.Bubba Nosferatu - Starring Bruce Campbell. I wonder how Joe Lansdale feels about this, since he wrote the short story Bubba Ho-tep. Lansdale's books are a bit hard to find, but that story is a riot. I own the book it appears in.Evil Dead - I own the original, and it's one of my favorite movies. It's already been remade. The remake was Evil Dead 2. Why remake it again? It's fine on its own.Candyman 4 - Say it. I dare you. "Candyman... Candyman... Candyman... Candyman..." ;)Casino Royale"Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2 - I'm sure the wingnuts will go apeshit over this one.Graduate 2Halloween 9 - I could have sworn they were up to "Halloween 250" by now...Indiana Jones 4 - I thought Harrison Ford was getting too old to do this again?Love At Second Bite - The original starred George Hamilton, he of the eternal suntan.Police Academy 8 - Spare me, part 2.Rocky 6 - Stallone will star in the movie and write the script, but there is no word whether or not he will direct.X Files 2 - I'll see this only if David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson play Mulder and Scully. I'm a major X-phile. Video42875@blogcritics.org Sat, 28 Jan 2006 15:57:30 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/28/113410.php Trish WilsonSusie Bright links to Brit psychologist Petra Boynton's list of sex predictions for 2006. It's an interesting list. While it focuses on the UK, I can see how some of these categories could apply to the US. We in the US have abstinence-only education to deal with that makes sex look like something bad, unless it's done in the context of a heterosexual marriage. School sex education classes continue to teach the bare basics about the plumbing, yet they do not teach that sex should be enjoyable. Kids are not made aware of how their bodies are changing. They aren't given proper information about contraception. The conservative ideologues who control this country have a very limited and negative view of sexuality. Plus, the outright hostility they display towards single and divorced moms as well as gays and lesbians cannot be heathy for this country.I know that Nip/Tuck, Desperate Housewives, and Sex and the City use sex as major driving points of their plots. I believe Will and Grace also does, but I have never seen that show. If anyone tries to learn about sex from watching Nip/Tuck, they're going to be sorry. My husband and I love Nip/Tuck because those characters have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. It's a skewed way to look at sex, but it's still a fun show. I get to turn my schadenfreude meter on when I watch it. I've seen a couple of episodes of Sex and the City, but that show never did anything for me. I think the female characters whine too much about not getting laid, not having boyfriends, being successful yet scaring men away, yadda yadda yadda. I haven't seen Desperate Housewives in a while, but we did watch the first season on DVD. I like that show a lot. Still, I think we in the US need more television shows with positive portrayals of sex and relationships. The one television relationship which I think it positive and healthy is between Alison and Joe DuBois on Medium. You know they have sex. They're talking about having another baby, although Alison doesn't sound too thrilled about it. She already has three kids to take care of, and it looks like one is just out of diapers.I found Dr. Petra Boynton's list very interesting. I wish we had a Dr. Petra Boynton in the US. I'd prefer anyone other than that self-righteous Dr. Phil. I saw him by accident a couple of times, and I can't abide him for more than a few minutes. What in God's name did Oprah ever see in him? If there is an equivalent of Dr. Petra Boynton in the US, please let me know in comments.Dr. Boynton's predictions are in bold. My comments are below each prediction.2006 is going to be the year of the sex addict.Dr. Boynton says that there are many new TV shows that will discuss sex addiction, "either showing it to be an epidemic or offering training for men who are 'cheaters' to curb their behaviour." We already have lots of shows in the US that treat all kinds of sexual disorders as if they are fodder for entertainment. We have "relationship" experts that dispense poor advice to people they meet for not much more than fifteen minutes. There is a big chance that abusive behavior as well as sexual behavior will be ignored, misdiagnosed, or pathologized. However, that doesn't stop television producers from treating abusive behavior and sexual behavior as entertainment. Those kinds of shows are also very cheap to produce, so they are becoming more popular.Other television coverage will not be sex positive.Dr. Boynton says that "[y]ou can look forward to other programmes that purport to cover sexual science but will most likely be labelling, blaming or mocking participants." She also mentions "makeover shows" that will transform people's inter-personal relationships. This means more negative portrayals of sexuality and relationships for entertainment purposes. I've noticed that when I run a search for "sex" on Google that I turn up lots of stories about pedophiles. I would much rather see positive articles about sex.New attempts will be made to tackle the UK's sexual health problems.Dr. Boynton pointed out that already overstretched services may experience problems. She wrote that "[a]n increase in self-management and moving sexual health services into community settings like your pharmacy or GP will most certainly become more widespread in 2006." People need to be encouraged to use contraception, including using condoms more regularly. She would also like to see a more positive portrayal of sexual health. I agree with her. Too often "sexual health" is treated as if its a disease that needs to be corralled. In the US, we have problems with forbidding Plan-B from being approved for use. Pharmacists are able to use "conscience clauses" so that they may refuse for religious reasons to fill prescriptions for birth control pills and other forms of contraception, especially emergency contraception. I'm worried that Alito will be confirmed to the Supreme Court if the Dems don't grow a backbone and do something about it. If he is confirmed, there is a good chance that Roe will eventually be overturned or completely gutted. Women in the US face grave attacks on their reproductive rights, and the people in government who are supposed to be protecting them are sitting on their hands.Sex will be about products and purchasing.I agree with Dr. Boynton that sex is becoming more commercialized. She believes that this upcoming year we will be seeing more media coverage of sexual issues that will come with product placements. We now have "sexperts" with something to sell, including sex toys, books, therapy sessions, and their own stores. Sex has become a commodity. Sharing valuable information about the enjoyment of sex, sexually transmitted disease, and relationships won't come without a product endorsement. We are already bombarded with commercials for pills for "natural male enhancement" that have never been proven to be effective or even to work. Too many people are already getting the idea that if their sex lives are suffering, they only need to pop the proper pill and their problems will be cured. A sex museum will open in the UK.Dr. Boynton says reports on this are mixed. Such a museum could either focus on sex education and empowerment, or it could be titillation geared towards consumerism. I hope that a sex museum will include history about sex, including some of the first issues of popular sex magazines, such as the Playboy issue with the pictorial of Marilyn Monroe. It could be interesting to include vintage books about sexuality, and to include excerpts about the ridiculous things people used to believe about male and female sexuality. Older forms of contraception and sex toys could be showcased. Victoria Woodhull was an early feminist who was famous for supporting the "Free Love" movement. She deserves to be covered in such a sex museum.Faux sex surveys will remain a media staple.Save me from Cosmopolitan's year-end Astrology booklets! I just read a faux sex survey that said most men consider kissing an "obligation". What a sad way of viewing a very pleasant activity! The same survey also found that women prefer kissing to having sex. This reminds me of the survey conducted by either Ann Landers or Dear Abby that found that women preferred cuddling to having sex. These surveys are usually self-selected. They are often part of a limited audience. And they are misleading. We need valid, well-researched information about sex that can help both men and women.2006 is a year for talking dirty.Dr. Boynton linked to several sex blogs. I've enjoyed reading all of them. She said that 2005 was the year of the sex blog. Here are the sex blogs she linked to:Viviane's Sex Carnival Sarcastic Sex Toy Blog Audacia Ray's Waxing Vixen Blog Tracy Quan (author of Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl) blog Susie Bright's Blog Erosblog Sexoteric links to loads of great sex blogs.There is also my blog, The Countess. I've made a point over the last few days of writing about sex. I also write erotic short stories. My stories have been published in Scarlet Magazine and Xodtica. I focus on paranormal erotic romance. I'm working on a paranormal erotic romantic novel right now. It's nearly finished. I have already started sending letters and chapters to publishers. Hopefully, a publisher will choose to represent me soon.She also linked to these blogs, which aren't always about sex, but she liked them nonetheless:Philosophy of Biology Sporula Mind Hacks Ben Goldacre's Bad Science blogMost of those blogs have blogrolls with many other great examples of sex blogs. They are informative, entertaining, and updated frequently. They are also getting to be more popular.She also recommended the following books which came out in 2005:Sex, Lies ands Stereotypes: Challenging Views of Women, Men and Relationships by Gary Wood. Dr. Sprinkle's Spectacular Sex, by Annie Sprinkle Everything You Know About Sex Is Wrong, edited by Russ Kick2006 is going to add to the blog-as-source-of-sex-information with the sex podcast.I don't think that sex podcasting is going to be that popular because most people don't know what a podcast is. I think most people are going to get their sex information from magazines and books. Some, like me, will read sex blogs. The danger is that podcasting can become very commercialized. There may not be as much spreading of information about sex, but selling books, sex toys, online sex web sites that require paid registration, movies, and other products.We'll need more sex education in 2006.We will get more sex education in the US, but not a good and informative kind. We are cursed with abstinence-only education. There are many lies promoted by abstinence-only education. A Congressional report found that students of abstinence-only education are being taught that "...abortion can lead to sterility and suicide, that half the gay male teenagers in the United States have tested positive for the AIDS virus, and that touching a person's genitals can result in pregnancy". We need sex education classes in schools that teach more than basic plumbing and that the "best" thing for teens is to abstain from sex. If teenagers are going to have sex, they need to learn about contraception. They need to learn how to appreciate their bodies, and they need to learn about the changes their bodies are going through. Sadly, with the conservative push for abstinence-only education, that's going to be a tough hill to climb. Culture42842@blogcritics.org Sat, 28 Jan 2006 11:34:10 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/16/215011.php Trish WilsonNow that I have your attention with that headline...A researcher has found that hot sex can cure the common cold. [via BlondeSense.] The researcher is Swiss. Here's the dirt:Swiss scientist Manfred Schedlovski claims his experiments show that regular love-making increases the amount of phagocyte cells, which boost the body's immune system and fight the microbes that cause colds.He claims the number of phagocytes - which attack alien antibodies, causing them to self-destruct - significantly increases during sexual intercourse.And according to Schedlovski's research, the number of phagocyte cells can even double after an orgasm, allowing alien microbes to be detected and destroyed more quickly.Alright, readers, get off Blogcritics right now, and go have some hot screeching monkey sex. Chances are that hot screeching monkey sex boosts the immune system so much that it could prevent a cold, let alone cure it.If anyone gets sick, and does not heed this fun remedy, you're going to get a tongue-lashing from me. [Pun intended.] Update: Schedlowski has also studied the effect of prolactin on male orgasm. An article at SexandDrugs.Info discussed the drug cabergoline, which is marketed under the trade name of Dostinex. Cabergoline has been found to increase orgasms in men. The drug lowers prolactin levels in men. Prolactin "also has the effect of reducing a man's desire for more sex by preventing new erections. Cabergoline has been found to to minimize the effects of the hormone prolactin, which is produced by men at the point of orgasm. As a result, some subjects who tried the drug found that they were able to have multiple orgasms in rapid succession."Dr. Manfred Schedlowski has been studying the drug. Here is more information on its effect and on prolactin:In one study, 60 subjects, all healthy males, between the ages of 22 and 31, normally needed a break of 19 minutes between lovemaking sessions. However, after taking Cabergoline, they were able to have several orgasms within a few minutes. Medical psychologist Manfred Schedlowski, who was involved in the trials at Essen in Germany, said the drug raised the libido to enable the male to orgasm again more quickly.Schedlowski said, "We saw that prolactin rises after orgasm and then thought maybe prolactin is a negative feedback system. Subjects who took this drug had decreased prolactin levels, and reported their orgasm was better and there was a shorter refractory period. We interviewed these subjects and found they were able to have multiple orgasms in very rapid succession. This is sitting very nicely with our hypothesis that orgasms and sexual drive are steered by prolactin and dopamine in the brain."There didn't seem to be any side effects, except one that was reported. The only bad thing was that "[t]here's evidence that the release of prolactin in the brain, which surges during orgasm, promotes the growth of new neurons in the brain--a process called neurogenesis. Researchers at the University of Cal-gary discovered that the release of prolactin spurs the growth of new brain cells in the front regions of the brain involved in smell."Any drug that makes sex better sounds good to me. However, it looks like focusing on pleasing the little brain prevents the big brain from growing as many new neurons as it otherwise would if prolactin levels were higher.If you want to read some interesting articles about impotence, head over to the International Journal of Impotence Research. The Journal addresses both male and female sexual dysfunction. Sci/Tech42372@blogcritics.org Mon, 16 Jan 2006 21:50:11 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/14/195416.php Trish WilsonYeah, I know. The study is sponsored by Pfizer, the maker of Viagra. It's still an interesting study. Pfizer Global Study Of Sexual Attitudes And Behaviors. This is a global study, not isolated to the U. S. The study broke down sexual attitudes according to region: Africa & Middle East, Asia, Australiasia, Europe, Latin America, North America.Objectives: The Pfizer Global Study of Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors aims to: * Assess the role and importance of sex and intimacy to individuals and their relationships * Assess the attitudes and beliefs of men and women aged 40 to 80 years regarding sexual health * Describe treatment-seeking behavior for sexual dysfunction among men and women * Provide an international baseline regarding sexual attitudes and beliefs that may be used in the future to compare changes over timeBackgroundIn 1975, the World Health Organization (WHO) made the following declaration, "There exist fundamental rights for the individual, including the right to sexual health and a capacity to enjoy and control sexual and reproductive behavior in accordance with a social personal ethic:* freedom from fear, shame, guilt, false beliefs, and other factors inhibiting sexual response and impairing sexual relationships* freedom from organic disorders, diseases, and deficiencies that interfere with sexual and reproductive functionDespite this viewpoint, and more than 2 decades later, many challenges remain to achieving the vision of sexual well-being espoused in this declaration. Sexual health and well-being, particularly for men and women aged 40 and older has only recently been openly discussed. Poor understanding regarding the underlying causes of problems with sexual health, lack of viable treatment options, and the stigma associated with discussing these problems among this age group were an impediment to progress.Since the WHO declaration, the development of several treatments for erectile dysfunction (ED) has provided more convenient alternatives and has dramatically increased medical and public interest in discussing sexual dysfunction in both men and women. The breadth of media coverage indicated that there is a dramatic lack of knowledge and lack of understanding regarding sexual health as a medically relevant topic, as well as a deep desire to discuss these issues. The wealth of data obtained through treatment of men with ED has only begun to open the door to understanding the importance of sexual health to the men, to their partners, to relationships, and to society in general. Continuing research is essential to elucidate how sexual health impacts relationships, quality of life, and societal roles of men and women over the age of 40. This knowledge has the potential to empower clinicians to more effectively diagnose and treat these conditions and, in turn, to trigger additional in-depth scientific research to further enhance the quality of life in this population. I found the page about how important is sex in your overall life interesting because it broke down desire for sex by country. Men are more interested in sex than women.Canadians are more interested in sex than Americans. Italians ranked highest in the European category, followed by Sweden, Germany, France, Spain, Belgium, and the U. K.Koreans ranked highest in the Asian category. Moroccans ranked highest in the African & Middle Eastern category, followed by Israelis.The page about overall general health was also interesting. 29% of men and 38% of women reported that their overall health was poor or fair. Those are high numbers.Another interesting graph was for how happy have you been with your life in the past year. Only 44% of women and 47% of men reported that they were very or extremely happy. That's less than half.Most men and women have sex less than once per week. Next in line was 1 - 6 times per week.Most people don't believe that older people don't want to have sex.Even though the study is sponsored by a drug company, it is interesting in that it shows global attitudes about sex and sexuality. It was a fun read. Culture42287@blogcritics.org Sat, 14 Jan 2006 19:54:16 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/12/27/141153.php Trish WilsonForbes has reported that Japan's population has fallen for the first time in 2005. The Japanese government is calling the falling population "a 'turning point' that will force the economy to adapt to a rapidly aging society." Health, Labor and Welfare Minister Jiro Kawasaki said that counter-measures must be taken to counter the falling birth rate, along with "measures to support and foster our future generations."This falling birth rate should come as no surprise to anyone who has been following the issue in Japan for the past year. This article from Foreign Policy [Author's note: You need to be a subscriber of Foreign Policy to read the article. It's also available at this link. Scroll down to read it.] described the growing dissatisfaction Japanese women have about their second-class status and dreadful treatment when it comes to marriage -- dissatisfaction so pronounced that many of them have chosen to forgo marriage and childbearing. Japanese wives are expected to shoulder the household chores, wait on their husbands (including peeling his apples for him), and raise the kids. Japanese men poo-pooed their complaints, calling them "the twittering of birds." This portion of the article caught my attention:[Author Yoko] Haruka, a witty, 30-something essayist and television personality from Osaka, describes with clarity and biting humor the exasperation of Japanese womanhood in two recent books - collections of eminently readable essays called Kekkon Shimasen! (I Won't Get Married!) and Hybrid Woman . Haruka begins I Won't Get Married! by describing her treatment at her own father's funeral: She was told to sit and to walk behind her five brothers - younger as well as older - and made to understand that she wasn't wanted on the receiving line to greet relatives and family friends. Haruka warmly admires her sister-in-law, who must put up with endless verbal abuse from her eldest brother, and her mother, who lives with them. The sister-in-law manages to smile self-effacingly even as she scurries to provide for their material needs, right down to putting a cold beer in her husband's hand as he steps out of his nightly bath. Haruka is exasperated by a favorite aunt who talks about her search for an "ordinary woman" to be her daughter-in-law. What the aunt means is a woman who will gladly make do with the 200,000 yen (less than $1,800) a month her son brings home, and who has no aspirations of her own. Shortly before finding this article, I read a plea from an Indian wife who was at her wit's end dealing with her husband's family. She had been married for six years. Two years ago, her brother-in-law moved in . Her in-laws "visited" for six months last year. Compare what she wrote to Haruka's comments.My mother in law was a disaster. She would constantly degrade me, try to separate me from my son, and make all sort of bizarre allegations. For her, only she was the best at everything. She would tell me that her family would eat no less that 5 dishes at any one time. Her food was being provided courtesy of my husband paycheck, no less. She was an aloof, manipulative, and user of people's money. She brainwashed my husband, and make sure he was on her side. My husband and I are amicable 2 days out of the month now, the other 28/29 days we fight. Mostly about his brother, who is lazy, doesn't pay any bills, doesn't like working as a shoe stock person, doesn't EVER cook or clean up the house, his room smells like crap...etc. etc. After the blackout this past summer, I came home exhausted, my sisters were with me and we all started cooking, my brother-in-law sat in the living room reading the paper. Is that annoying or what? He does that often, just stays in his room, until food is ready. I don't want to be the "bitch" so I don't say anything. I wait for my husband to do it (which RARELY happens). My b-i-l also goes to school part-time, so that is his contribution to society. Plagiarism rarely crosses his mind. He is also very defensive if I ever tell him he did something wrong. He doesn't get it that people in this country respect their privacy. People in this country work hard. I held a full-time job and went to school full-time, and would come home and help my mom cook and clean. All my brother-in-law knows his how to sleep, eat, and smoke. He is a male chauvinist. It is disgusting and very unfair. In Indian culture, the eldest son (this woman's husband) is traditionally responsible for supporting his family. As always in these cases, the brunt of the work falls on the women. I have learned that this sort of abyssmal treatment of wives is not unusual in Indian and Asian cultures. The Domestic Violence Hotline will refer South and South East Asian women in these situations to services that will help them. The Hotline also provides free translators for up to 150 languages.A Washington Post article described how Japanese wives are sick of waiting on their elderly husbands hand and foot. Sixty-three year old Sakura Terakawa described "her four decades of married life in a small urban apartment as a gradual transition from wife to mother to servant. Communication with her husband started with love letters and wooing words under pink cherry blossoms. It devolved over time, she said, into mostly demands for his evening meals and nitpicking over the quality of her housework."The article continued: "So when he came home one afternoon three years ago, beaming, and announced he was ready to retire, Terakawa despaired. "'This is it,' I remember thinking. 'I am going to have to divorce him now,'" Terakawa recalled. "It was bad enough that I had to wait on him when he came home from work. But having him around the house all the time was more than I could possibly bear."His retirement cut him off from his office social network, leaving him for the most part alone with his wife. Within a few weeks, the situation had worsened. "[Terakawa's husband] was hardly leaving the house, watching television and reading the newspaper -- and barking orders at her. He often forbade her to go out with her friends. When he did let her go, Terakawa said, she had to prepare all his meals before leaving."With that kind of treatment, it's no wonder that a Japanese poll conducted in February 2005 found that most single Japanese women "prefer not to marry and believe they can live happily alone for the rest of their life". The article in the link had mentioned Japan's falling birth rate. It said that "[t]he country's fertility rate - the average number of children born to a woman during her lifetime - fell to 1.29 in 2003, the lowest in the post-World War II period." The article also cited reasons for the falling birthrate: "higher education levels, changing attitudes toward marriage and individual freedom, the high financial burden of child rearing, and the hardships involved for working women given long hours on the job and a persistent dearth of daycare."If Japan wants to improve its birth rate, it's going to have to improve the lives of the women who will give birth to those babies. Politics41494@blogcritics.org Tue, 27 Dec 2005 14:11:53 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/12/05/092726.php Trish WilsonSome Watery Tart at Shakespeare's Sister is wondering about those loopy Left Behind books and movies. You might have heard of them. They were written by God's Right Hand Man Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. The movies are being released directly to DVD, and are being sent to congregations for pastors to show to their flocks. I'm reposting a post I made in 2003 about these books and movies. I haven't seen or read them, and I don't want to. I'm long familiar with LaHaye because in my fundy days I used to listen to his wife, Beverly LaHaye, on the radio program for Concerned Women For America. That show drove me batshit even when I was a fundy.-----I finally read all the segments of Slactivist's scathing review of Left Behind: A Novel of the Earth's Last Days, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. [via Electrolite] You may have seen the jacket for at least one of the film versions at the your local movie rental joint. Kirk Cameron avoided 1-800-CALL-ATT acting Hell for a far worse sort of Hell in starring in the movie series. Slactivist, who is a Christian, called this $50 million dollar phenomenon "pre-trib porn." The book series is about the supposedly imminent Rapture and the good Christians who will be pulled directly to God's side. It sounds to me like the authors and fans want to convince themselves that they can avoid the fear, pain, and loneliness of death. Left Behind is a multi-million dollar exploitation of cognitive dissonance.I'm more familiar with LaHaye's wife, Beverly Lahaye. Back in my fundy days I used to listen to her radio program for her organization, Concerned Women for America. I couldn't stand her show or her the organization even when I was a Christian, but it had a train-wreck kind of appeal for me. I noticed the show's irony immediately. Here's a woman who extolled to her obedient female listeners the Godly virtues of Stepfordwifedom, all the while broadcasting 3,000 miles away from her husband. Tim pastored a church in San Diego. Bev sat in a cushy office in the Murder Capital of the World (Washington, D. C. at the time Marion Barry was mayor.). Susan Faludi made the similar observation as Slactivist about the phallic symbolism outside LaHaye's office window. Referring to Freud, he wrote "sometimes the Washington Monument is just a cigar." Faludi's description of LaHaye's office in her book Backlash, had shown how much LaHaye reached for that phallic power herself.A large mirror hangs at a strange angle on the opposite wall -- but it's not for applying pink lipstick. "Mrs. LaHaye had that mirror put up there like that," Rebecca Hagelin, spokeswoman for Concerned Women for America, explains, "so she can look at it from her desk and see Capitol Hill."What struck me the most about Concerned Women for America was that it played on fears held by her listeners that upgrades in women's status would, to use Faludi's words, "threaten their traditional marriages and leave them 'unprotected.'" At the same time, LaHaye capitalized on her own enjoyment of the power she had gained. She provided for her listeners the message that it is okay for Christian women to be assertive and to express their "empowerment" -- as long as it was in the very narrow sphere of hearth and home. Above all, expression of this "power" shall never threaten the traditional family hierarchy that these women believe has been ordained by God. This was the budding of conservative, anti-feminist co-option of women's empowerment that persists to this day.I'm not surprised that Slactivist noticed that one of Left Behind's protagonists, the "virile, sexually obsessed but chaste hero pilot" Rayford Steele, was nothing more than LaHaye's wish-fulfillment alter ego. LaHaye has always seen himself as a Christian studmuffin. When he would speak as a guest on his wife's show, he portrayed himself as a sexual Mr.-Know-It-All. He also promoted his books. One of Lahaye's books written in the early '70s has the laughably ironic title, How To Be Happy Though Married. It harkens back to The Good Old Days That Never Were. In this book he spread the myth of vaginal vs. clitoral orgasms. He also promoted supposedly biologically-based gender roles, especially when it comes to who initiates sexual relations. For instance, he quoted Matthew 5:28: "But I say unto you, that whosoever look unto a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." He claims that Jesus made no such statement about women because most women do not look at men with lust. Thus man "should be the initiator because of [his] stronger sex drive," while "the role of the woman is to respond."Reading Slactivist's opinions brought back some bizarre memories for me. I am so glad that I "left behind" that particular era of my life. Books40510@blogcritics.org Mon, 5 Dec 2005 09:27:26 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/11/23/113051.php Trish WilsonCue up the mawkish holiday music.Most people think of Thanksgiving as a time to give thanks, to spend with family, and to gorge on food. Roto Rooter is especially thankful for Thanksgiving because the holiday gives the company lots of business. According to the Claton Advertiser, "[i]ncoming calls to Roto-Rooter the day after Thanksgiving will jump 47-percent over an average Friday. The four-day Thanksgiving weekend represents a 21-percent increase above any other Thursday through Sunday period of the year. Added revenue will approach a half-million dollars just for Friday. Only the day after Christmas comes close in terms of overall calls for service."I watch Ghost Hunters on Sci-Fi. The show is a guilty pleasure. The season ended a couple of weeks ago. The two founders of The Atlantic Paranormal Society (TAPS) work at Roto Rooter when they aren't busting ghosts. I suspect they had to end the show for the season when they did because they're going to be busy busting drains from now until Christmas. After plumbing season dies down, I'm sure the show will start up again.The Concord Journal had an amusing story. Don MacDonald, founding owner of A Rooter-Man, said that plumbers occasionally find strange things packing the pipes. "You'd expect it to be turkey, but it was actually lobster," Papalia said. "This woman put three or four lobster shells down the disposal and they exploded in the pipe. And you know, that seafood doesn't smell so good."In case anyone needs reminding, these are the kinds of things plumbers recommend you not shove down your garbage disposal:* Fats or cooking oils* Poultry skins* Celery* Coffee grounds* Fruit or potato peels* Don't flush cotton balls, swabs, hair, or facial scrub down the toilet. Also don't flush underwear down the toilet (keep reading if you just went "whaaaa?").Plumbing problems aren't confined to 2005. Thanksgiving would not be complete without tales such as these:Thanksgiving - The Most Plumber-ful Time of Year (2003). Imagine the huge clog that results from shoving 20 people's leftovers into the sink disposal. Plumbers will be busy today, removing banana peels, leftover potatoes, orange rinds, turkey bones, coffee grounds (they plump when you insinkerate 'em), and all sorts of disgusting sludge from people's sinks. What doesn't make it to the sink ends up clogging the toilet. One plumber interviewed remembered when a kid flushed his dad's Tommy Hilfiger briefs. I bet if the family owned a toilet Dave Barry likes (one that can flush a sheep), it would not have clogged."One November Thursday, the Redondo Beach, Calif., plumber arrived at a home where the man had bet his wife $100 that the culprit of their clogged sink was not potato peels. When the drain-clearing snake revealed that it was, indeed, potato peels, the man paid Mr. Gutierrez $100 not to tell his wife."-----Statistics back him up. Last year, the number of plumbing calls jumped 46.4 percent the Friday after Thanksgiving, compared to a typical Friday, according to Paul Abrams, national spokesman for Roto-Rooter. That translates into 865 additional jobs for Roto-Rooter alone, worth about $235,260. Other companies report similar spikes, starting around 2 p.m. on Thanksgiving day.-----Patrick Tibets, a Boston-area plumber in the business for 18 years, says one disaster is seared on his mind. "A turkey caught fire," he recalls. "The flames came up over the stove. When I came in the kitchen the turkey was sitting in the sink, black and smoking. I had to turn the gas off."A big Thanksgiving fad, at least last year, was frying turkeys in oil. Emeril Lagasse had done it on his show, and lots of people decided to try it. They got lazy, and didn't keep an eye on the turkey. Disasters struck.* [FromTribnet.com, last year.] "The flames were small ... until I blew on them. My college roommate, Kathy, and I were cooking our first turkey. It wasn't going well. Somehow, a chunk of the turkey had broken free and fallen off the pan, through the rack, landed on the electrical element and burst into flames."* "The flames shot 10 feet into the air out of the old, rusty barrel smoker in the backyard as we stood dumbfounded. What I'd expected was a nice, quiet first Thanksgiving. Now where was the turkey? I began to have doubts about my husband's cooking ability."* [From Saint Louis Today, last year.] On cooking a turkey in a vat of oil: "The oil boiled over, and it sounded like a cannon," said Tena Hart, 47, who lives next door from the house with the fire on Sharlane. "By the time I looked out my front door, the flames were 15 feet over the roof of his garage. Then everything caught fire and exploded. His lawn mower. Then his car. Gas cans. It was sort of surreal."Have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Just remember not to flush your Tommy Hilfiger briefs down the john. Tastes39922@blogcritics.org Wed, 23 Nov 2005 11:30:51 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/11/23/095832.php Trish WilsonI've long known that the so-called "ex-gay" movement is a sham. I've heard of supposedly "ex-gay" folk being discovered in gay bars, cruising for dates. As Pam Spaulding at Pandagon wrote, How many gays and lesbians, desperate to avoid being ostracized from their fundamentalist families, seek out bogus outfits like Exodus International and Love in Action. The organizations promote "reparative" or "reorientation" therapy prey on the poor souls that turn to them, hoping the gay can be chased away. Using a combination of prayer and ludicrous exercises, the aim is to help homos in crisis "attain the goal of reaching their heterosexual potential." Spaulding includes a bog-full of nasty Freeper quotes with Freepers doing what they do best - spewing bile. The American Psychological Association removed homosexuality from its list of mental disorders in 1973. In the APA's statement on Uses of Diagnoses "Homosexual" and "Ego-Dystonic Homosexuality", it says "homosexuality implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social or vocational capabilities". The APA has specifically urged its members "not to use the "302.0 Homosexuality" diagnosis in the current ICD-9-CM or the "302.00 Ego-dystonic Homosexuality" diagnosis in the current DSM-III or future editions of either document." Psychologists and other therapists such as those in the ex-gay movement who seek to "cure" homosexuals violate APA standards.Spaulding described the recent conference of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH). The conference was packed with "more than 1,000 therapists, sociologists, and psychoanalysts who believe homosexuality is not inborn and can be changed." Now, how's that for a cash cow? All those therapists, sociologists, and psychoanalysts who can't make a decent living with a plain old practice treating people for garden-variety depression or listening to patients go on and on and on about their lousy jobs or their sucky love lives... they can rake in the cash trying to "cure" homosexuals. Since homosexuality isn't a disease that can be cured, these people are bound to be in business for a long time. I bet this cottage industry of "curing" homosexuals makes even more money for therapists, sociologists, and psychoanalysts than the burgeoning "divorce industry." When they aren't raking in hundreds of dollars per hour draining the pockets of parents with custody and psychological evaluations, they can "cure" homosexuals. What a racket!According to the blog Ex-Gay Watch, "The City Councilman for the surrounding area, Bill Rosendahl, an openly gay man and practicing Catholic, protested outside the NARTH convention along with a group of therapists and students."Rosendahl called their research and their methods "unproven, unsafe and abusive," pointing out that the American Psychiatric Association stopped classifying homosexuality as a condition to be cured more than three decades ago.""It's another form of rationalization for the continued persecution and prejudice against gay people, and it has to stop," Rosendahl said. "That's why we're here."Ex-Gay Watch disputed Spaulding's contention that 1,000 people had shown up for the NARTH convention, claiming that only 100 had shown up, including therapists and some of the allegedly ex-gay clients.I thought that Spaulding should know exactly how that ex-gay racket has played out. This press release just about blew my socks off when I first read it in January. Read the whole thing. Note that Richard Cohen, founder of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (P-FOX), once was conservative talk-radio host Dr. Laura Schlessinger's advisor.FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASETuesday, Jan. 25, 2005website: www.WayneBesen.comANTI-GAY P-FOX PRESIDENT RICHARD COHEN EXPELLED FOR LIFE FROM THE AMERICAN COUNSELING ASSOCIATIONRevealing, Never-Before Seen Document Is a Devastating Blow For Outdated Pseudo-Science That Tries To Turn Gay People Straight, Says BesenNEW YORK - Author Wayne Besen today released an explosive, never-before seen letter he uncovered from the American Counseling Association that "permanently expelled" reparative therapist Richard Cohen in 2003 for serious ethics violations. ...As the outspoken president of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Dr. Laura Schlessinger's ex-gay advisor, Cohen's expulsion casts a dark shadow over the disreputable practice of trying to change sexual orientation."The Right wing should be ashamed for promoting the work of a therapist who has been officially rebuked for egregious ethical lapses," said Wayne Besen, author of Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth. "That Cohen is the best the far right can find in support of their position that gay people can change underscores the quack-like pseudo-science that they rely on. It is time they end the charade and admit that reparative therapy is harmful and ineffective."According to the ACA's letter: "Mr. Cohen was found in violation of the following code sections A.1.a; A.1.b; A.5.a; A.6.a; C.3.b, C.3.f, and has not elected to appeal the decision taken by the ACA Ethics Committee within allotted timelines." (Please see below for full explanation of violations)The letter referred to Cohen's violations which included inappropriate behavior such as fostering dependent counseling relationships, not promoting the welfare of clients, engaging in actions that sought to meet his personal needs at the expense of clients, exploiting the trust and dependency of clients, unethically soliciting testimonials from clients and promoting products to clients in a manner that is deceptive."It is no surprise that Richard Cohen violated the ACA ethics because reparative therapy itself lacks integrity and attempts to meet their agenda's need, not the needs of client's," said Joe Kort, psychotherapist and author of 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives. "Of particular note is that Cohen's violations are self-serving as he is accused of violating standard ethics of protecting his client from dual relationships, marketing purposes, and testimonials."Richard Cohen is the president of P-FOX, a group that recently placed an >ex-gay billboard in Virginia (www.Pfox.org ) and sponsored a controversial ad campaign in Washington DC's subway system. His website is www.gaytostraight.org and he is a conference instructor for the National Association for the Research and Therapy for Homosexuality (NARTH). Cohen is also the author of Coming Out Straight, a book in which Dr. Laura Schlessinger wrote the forward."With intellect and care, he [Cohen] offers invaluable insight into the reason for same-sex attractions and, for those willing to brave it, he illuminates a challenging journey from isolation," wrote Dr. Laura in Cohen's book.Cohen has also been prominently featured on Larry King Live, The Ricki Lake Show, The Sally Jessy Raphael Show and 20/20. The sound bite he often uses on these shows is, "Born gay? No Way!" Reparative therapy is rejected by every mainstream medical and mental health organization in America.The Rules Violated By CohenSection A: The Counseling Relationship A.1. Client Welfare a. Primary Responsibility. The primary responsibility of counselors is to respect the dignity and to promote the welfare of clients.b. Positive Growth and Development. Counselors encourage client growth and development in ways that foster the clients' interest and welfare; counselors avoid fostering dependent counseling relationships.A.5. Personal Needs and Values a. Personal Needs. In the counseling relationship, counselors are aware of the intimacy and responsibilities inherent in the counseling relationship, maintain respect for clients, and avoid actions that seek to meet their personal needs at the expense of clients.A.6. Dual Relationshipsa. Avoid When Possible. Counselors are aware of their influential positions with respect to clients, and they avoid exploiting the trust and dependency of clients. Counselors make every effort to avoid dual relationships with clients that could impair professional judgment or increase the risk of harm to clients. (Examples of such relationships include, but are not limited to, familial, social, financial, business, or close personal relationships with clients.) When a dual relationship cannot be avoided, counselors take appropriate professional precautions such as informed consent, consultation, supervision, and documentation to ensure that judgment is not impaired and no exploitation occurs. (See F.1.b.)C.3. Advertising and Soliciting Clientsb. Testimonials. Counselors who use testimonials do not solicit them from clients or other persons who, because of their particular circumstances, may be vulnerable to undue influence.f. Promoting to Those Served. Counselors do not use counseling, teaching, training, or supervisory relationships to promote their products or training events in a manner that is deceptive or would exert undue influence on individuals who may be vulnerable. Counselors may adopt textbooks they have authored for instruction purposes.I'll say it again: What a racket! Culture39920@blogcritics.org Wed, 23 Nov 2005 09:58:32 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/11/22/151515.php Trish WilsonTwisty has penned a great post about the ulterior meaning behind the existence of teeny handbags. You've seen them. These purses are about the size of an eyeglass case, and they can hold only a birth-control pill, a few dollars and some change, and some pocket mace. My friends and I call them "hooker purses." I've seen them at the mall, in particular, in one accessory shop for teenaged girls. Some of them are plastic, with zippers with holes in the top so you can attach keyrings, feathers, little flashlights whose batteries last for about five minutes, and other useless gack that you will never use. Some have cutesy little flowers embossed on them, while others sport Hello Kitty. The most amazing ones to me are clear. Not only would you carry around a teeny handbag, but everyone around you can see your birth-control pill, your money, and your pocket mace. What kind of message does that send?I own a couple of old-fashioned teeny handbags that look like someone cut a letter-envelope-sized chunk out of a Persian rug and attached a zipper to it. These bags smell like old ladies. They come with a chain that can barely make it around my wrist. Even though next to nothing can fit in these bags, that didn't stop me from using them when I went through my Big Hair phase in the 1980s. One commenter at Twisty's mentioned that ladies' wallets are often the size of horsefeed bags (she didn't use those words, but the image stuck in my mind). You cannot fit a ladies' wallet into one of these teeny handbags. All I could fit into it was a few dollars, some change, a lipstick, my driver's license, and my medical insurance card in case I broke my neck while tripping around on stiletto heels - another tool of the patriarchy.One reason that women must carry handbags is that their clothing traditionally comes without pockets. Plus, many women feel they must carry around an arsenal of personal items, such as a comb, brush, lipstick, tampons, wallet, pocket mace, cell phone, mirror, notepad, calendar, address book, sneakers (when they aren't wearing stilettos), stilettos (when they either are wearing sneakers or their feet hurt too much from the stilettos), extra pairs of panty hose, shampoo, conditioner, and toothbrush (in case they meet the man of their dreams while staring down a martini in a hotel bar), hairspray, glasses, sunglasses, an iPod, CDs, cassette tapes, 8-track tapes (if you own these, your age is showing), headphones, car keys, cigarettes, a lighter, a cigarette case, a paperback book, and a bottle of water. And those are only the necessities.So, considering all that swag too many women carry around, why on earth would they use a purse the size of a candy box? Why do women need to carry all that stuff around at all? We're too encumbered with junk that won't fit in our teeny purses. Maybe that's the whole idea. Keep women so concerned about what it is their purses - and what they forgot - that they can't think about important things. That's how those teeny hooker purses are tools of the patriarchy.I no longer use teeny handbags. I decided that if I was going to be a tool for the patriarchy, I was going to wear a black leather backpack rather than tote around a teeny handbag. That patriarchal bit of pixelated boobage designed to turn on 16-year-old boys, Lara Croft, wore a brown leather backpack in all the Tomb Raider video games. So I wear a black leather backpack with my black clothes. I can be a tool for the patriarchy and look like I'd kick your scrawny ass at the same time. Works for me. Culture39919@blogcritics.org Tue, 22 Nov 2005 15:15:15 EST