Blogcritics Author: Martian Anthropologist

eHarmony's Newest Commercials

Martian Anthropologist — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:54:10 EDT

They couple is young and both have nice bodies. How hard could that match have been?
I assume I'm not the only one who is sick to death of the newest eHarmony commercial. What a couple of dweebs. "Oh, you'll know, you'll know," Lee says, nodding to Anne Marie. "This is what they were talking about." Anne Marie goes on to say how, when she first heard his voice on the phone, he sounded "really...

Announcement: Short-content feeds

Phillip Winn — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT

Sunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding.

Frist Backs Bush on Santa Claus Hypothesis

Martian Anthropologist — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 12:49:53 EDT

I'm a few days late on this, but the debate is raging on, so... here you go. I'm shocked by this news article, as I'm sure you will be as well after you read it. (For more articles by the Martian Anthropologist, go here.August 19, 2005 WASHINGTON - The Senate majority leader, Bill Frist, aligned himself with President Bush today when he said that Santa Claus Theory should be taught along with Parent Theory in public schools.Teaching Santa Claus Theory as well as Parent Theory "doesn't force any particular theory on anyone," Senator Frist, Republican of Tennessee, said in Nashville, according to The Associated Press. "I think in a pluralistic society that is the fairest way to go about education and training people for the future."A Washington spokesman for the senator, Nick Smith, said afterward that The A.P. had reported Mr. Frist's comments accurately.Parent Theory states that the gifts that children receive on Christmas morning each year are in fact gifts from the child's parents. The scientific community points out that this theory is backed up with evidence, such as receipts from toy stores, testimony from store clerks, etc.Santa Claus Theory, however, maintains that a mythical grandfather-type figure who goes by the name "Santa Claus" comes down the chimney each Christmas Eve night while children are sleeping, and delivers toys to "good" girls and boys. The theory goes on to state that this person lives in a magic toy-making factory at the north pole, populated by elves.Critics say that Santa Claus theorists are trying to supplant science with religious beliefs.Recently, President Bush disagreed, sparking a debate that has been raging now for several weeks. The debate has now escalated with Senator Frist publicly standing behind the President's views."Look, the fact is, there is evidence backing Santa Claus Theory," the President stated on August 2nd. "On Christmas morning, there are toys under the tree. Where did they come from? There is obviously a higher power of some sort at work there. It is much too complicated of a process. These Parent Theorists would actually have us believe that parents are not only shopping for Christmas gifts, but also taking the time to wrap them, and then sneak them under the tree after the kids go to bed on Christmas Eve. Ridiculous."Yesterday, Senator Frist agreed. "Not only is believing in Santa Claus simpler, but to not believe robs children of the magic and wonder of Christmas."The senator's view, expressed today after a speech at a Rotary Club meeting, echoed President Bush's remarks on Aug. 2, when he told a group of Texas newspaper reporters that he favored teaching both Santa Claus Theory and Parent Theory "so people can understand what the debate is about."Mr. Frist's agreement with President Bush on one of the more contentious educational, social and political issues of the time comes just a few weeks after he broke with the president and with Christian conservatives on another hot topic, embryonic stem cell research.Senator Frist is widely assumed to be contemplating a run for the presidency in 2008, so his statements on issues that touch on moral as well as political questions are sure to be scrutinized, by Christian conservatives essential to a Republican candidacy and by people looking for signals that Mr. Frist is willing to move toward the center."With both the President and Senator Frist endorsing Santa Claus Theory, at the very least it makes Americans who have that position more respectable, for lack of a better phrase,'' said Gary Bauer, a Christian conservative leader. "It's not some backwater view. It's a view held by the majority of Americans, especially Americans under 10 years of age."Senator Frist agreed. "Look, the fact is that with that many people believing in Santa Claus Theory, it has to be right."Frist went on to say that without Santa Claus Theory, children in America have no moral foundation on which to base their behavior. "If children stop believing in Santa Claus, how will they know right from wrong, and how will their parents control them?"For those who demand evidence, Frist admonished, "Just have faith. Faith will see you through.""I think today a pluralistic society should have access to a broad range of fact, of science, including faith," Frist said. (For more on this raging debate, go here. DISCLAIMER: Obviously, this is satire.)

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

Iraq War: Over 1800 U.S. Soldiers, 25,000 Iraq Civilians Dead.

Martian Anthropologist — Thu, 18 Aug 2005 18:37:53 EDT

This post originally written at the Martian Anthropologist Blog, August 3, 2005.SHE IS A beautiful little girl in a black and red flowered dress. I'm guessing 8, maybe 9 at the most. Her cheeks and outstretched hands are splattered with blood. Her mouth is frozen in a scream, or maybe a wail. The photograph taken seven months ago by photographer Chris Hondros is of an Iraqi child moments after U.S. troops shot at a car she was riding in, killing both of her parents. U.S. officials say the car did not heed warnings to stop.The second Iraq War. A war started by a President who has never served in combat. A invasion that began because of a lie he told the United States people: That Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction.Over 1800 Americans have now died in this war. BAGHDAD (AP) - The U.S. military said Tuesday that six marines were killed in action in western Iraq, pushing the death toll for Americans since the start of the war past 1,800. The marines, assigned to Regimental Combat Team-2 of the 2nd Marine Division, died Monday in Haditha, 225 kilometres northwest of Baghdad. That number pales in comparison to the number of innocent Iraqi civilians killed: Nearly 25,000. Notice I did not say Iraqi soldiers. No, this number refers to civilians, and it is undisputed. From an excellent column by Time Magazine's Tammerlin Drummond: Nearly 25,000 Iraqi civilians have died horrible, violent deaths since the U.S. invasion began in 2003. Nine thousand were shot or bombed by U.S. forces, compared to 2,353 who lost their lives as the result insurgent attacks like suicide bombings. Our troops have killed four times as many civilians as the bad guys.Since the time I was very young, I have never understood humans. I have never understood why their vision is so short-sighted. They can only see what is right in front of them, and most times, they cannot even see that clearly. Most of them just don't understand how wonderful, how fragile, and how precious life is. They refuse to learn lessons from the past. They don't realize how many wars there have been since the end of time; wars fought for reasons no one now remembers and for gods long forgotten.This planet would be far better off if ruled by people like Gandhi, Sagan, Twain, Heinlein, or hell, even Douglas Adams. Instead, tiny men rule it, like Bush, Blair, and Cheney.Bush and Blair insist the war was justified. But on what grounds?WMDs? If so, then why aren't we attacking North Korea?To free the Iraqi people? If so, why don't we start a list of every nation on Earth with oppressed peoples, and free them all?Their reasons just don't wash, but they still have enough stupid humans following them.There have been wars for thousands of years, many that you have never heard of. I promise you, beyond the shadow of a doubt, a time will come when no one on Earth will remember this war or its reasons. There will be a time on this planet when no one remembers the name George W. Bush; there will come a day when the United States itself will not exist. All things end. As Ecclesiastes says: One generation passeth away, and another generation cometh: but the earth abideth for ever. All you have to do is live right, live well, and be happy. The saddest thing in the world is a life cut short for no good reason.Tammerlin Drummond has written quite a column on the Iraq War. You really should read it. At the beginning of this blog entry is a photograph that he refers to: SHE IS A beautiful little girl in a black and red flowered dress. I'm guessing 8, maybe 9 at the most. Her cheeks and outstretched hands are splattered with blood. Her mouth is frozen in a scream, or maybe a wail. The photograph taken seven months ago by photographer Chris Hondros is of an Iraqi child moments after U.S. troops shot at a car she was riding in, killing both of her parents. U.S. officials say the car did not heed warnings to stop. Our media prominently features graphic images of Iraqi suffering when insurgents are responsible. But it's another story when our soldiers are the ones wreaking mass destruction. Few U.S. newspapers gave the Hondros photos the play they deserve. Maybe that's why so many Americans have no clue why "they" hate us.By now I am supposed to be used to the stupidity of most humans. I deal with it every day. But I am beginning to realize that humans will never change. If they eventually destroy themselves, it will be because they deserve it. When they cannot wage war on each other, they are busy waging war on the only home they have.But perhaps it is not entirely bad that most humans are so ignorant of the true state of things. When one knows the true state of things, it does not make one happy. When a person knows what the solutions are, joy does not follow; sadness follows, because it is realized that the solution is there, but it will never be enacted. As the son of the King of Jerusalem said: And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. I leave you with a few more quotes to ponder. "I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you humans are not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet." ~ Agent Smith, in The Matrix A pre-emptive war in 'defense' of freedom would surely destroy freedom, because one simply cannot engage in barbarous action without becoming a barbarian, because one cannot defend human values by calculated and unprovoked violence without doing mortal damage to the values one is trying to defend. ~ J. William Fulbright I have seen war. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from the wounded. I have seen the dead in the mud. I have seen cities destroyed. I have seen children starving. I have seen the agony of mothers and wives. I hate war. ~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt I know war as few other men now living know it, and nothing to me is more revolting. I have long advocated its complete abolition, as its very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a method of settling international disputes. ~ Douglas MacArthurThis is the Martian Anthropologist, signing off in the dead of night. Pleasant dreams.

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

Thoughts of God, by Michael Kanaly

Martian Anthropologist — Sun, 17 Jul 2005 00:14:50 EDT

I was up until 1:00am last night reading Thoughts of God, by Michael Kanaly. This is an unusual book. It describes itself as a 'metaphysical novel of murder.'It's about a serial killer and the vigilante that hunts him, and in that regard, it's a good story; about average, I'd say. Sprinkled through-out the book, though, are literally, "thoughts of God," and what I can only describe as scenes from other planets both future and past. It seems God's purpose in creation is to run a grand experiment... but I don't want to give too much away.I was disappointed somewhat with the ending, as it seems a bit rushed, but overall, this is a good book. It will raise subjects that the average person doesn't think about much.I picked it up mainly because of this quote at the beginning of the book: When we start thinking too much of ourselves, of our vaulted achievements here on this Earth, I believe we should consider the following: That the Milky Way galaxy, of which our own sun is but a tiny speck, contains roughly 250 billion stars; and that within an area of roughly 97.8 billion light years, which comprises what we humans can currently conceive of as the totality of the universe, there are by conservative estimates 100 billion other galaxies. It is a vastness which is truly incomprehensible. -- Argument For Humility, Donald ShelbyIn one scene, an alien of reptilian ancestry has crash-landed on another world. He is the only one of his crew that has survived. He has a lot of time to think about the circumstances that led to his predicament: It had been a foolish war from the beginning, as most were. The filament beings were so different from his own species that the two races had virtually nothing in common. They did not compete for resources or for planets. Indeed, they could not breathe the same air or eat the same foods... The war itself, he now understood, was an economic ploy by the Home World government -- a misguided, deranged effort to bolster support for a space-based defense system. The war had begun after a long, involved media campaign by the military, playing on the public's innate fear of the filament creatures. It was unquestionably a campaign of racial hatred directed at what the military perceived as a "soft target..." He came every evening to sit on this outcrop of rock, to stare down into the valley, where the remnants of his ship rusted into the earth... Why? He asked himself a hundred times a day... Why had he survived, when all the others had died? All the others. Each and every one of his species... all dead... Yes, the media campaign had been subtle at first, but it had quickly gained momentum, feeding on fear, until everyone on the Home World hated the aliens, and had become convinced that an attack by them was both inevitable and imminent. Of course, as events unfolded, it became obvious that this was a complete, fabricated lie. But somehow the people had been convinced. Even he himself had been convinced. He now wondered if running subversive media campaigns had been taught at the highest levels of military command school. It was a question that would forever remain unanswered, for the simple reason that there was no one left to whom he could present the question. The war itself had been an unmitigated disaster right from the start. It quickly became obvious that the filament beings were not a "soft target." In truth, they could have destroyed the home world whenever they choosed to do so, as they possessed technology the military commanders had never even imagined. Their response to being attacked by the pitiful ships of the Home World had been simple and devastating. They had merely sent shielded drone vessels into the sun around which his planet orbited, disrupting it to an extent that it had gone nova in matter of days. Exploding in a massive outpouring of energy that had turned the Home World and all the outer planets into clouds of incandescent gas. The filament beings had then hunted down each and every star vessel that had managed to escape the destruction. And they had done so as easily as one might pick up a slug, roll it onto a stick, and cook it over a fire. It had been that simple. That quick. That efficient. So now he came every night to sit on the stone ledge, to stare into the valley, and to ask his questions to the stars. There was never any response. When he cried, which was often, his sobs were heard by no other living creature in the entire universe.

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

Blockbuster versus Netflix versus Local Video Stores

Martian Anthropologist — Fri, 15 Jul 2005 23:40:59 EDT

I never thought I'd say this, but I've become a Blockbuster Video fan. Unusual for me, because I like to shop local if I can, and that includes DVD rentals.Right now, though, I have two overdue movies (Hitch and War of the Worlds) from one of the local video rental stores. I was supposed to return them two days ago, so my late fees right now are probably at about 10 bucks. And that's not including the original rental price.On the other hand, when I rent from Blockbuster lately, I never have to worry about it, since they implemented their new 'the end of late fees' policy.So from now on, when I want to rent a movie from a brick and morter store, I'm going to Blockbuster.It's a different story though when it comes to online rentals. Blockbuster is a bit cheaper than Netflix, but they don't have nearly the selection. Netflix has just about every DVD there is, including television. Right now, for example, I'm working my way through all the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes.So, simple formula:Renting in town: Blockbuster. Renting online: Netflix.I like the combination of both, because I can get so many movies and off-the-wall DVDs through Netflix that aren't available locally, but when I get the sudden urge to go rent a movie (which happens a lot) I can run down the street to Blockbuster. SC:Tan The Man

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

No 'Bring It On' To The Chinese?

Martian Anthropologist — Fri, 15 Jul 2005 23:33:39 EDT

A Chinese general said today that China was ready to attack the United States with nuclear weapons: WASHINGTON -- The State Department on Friday rejected as "highly irresponsible" a Chinese general's warning that China might use nuclear weapons against the United States in the event of a U.S. attack on China over Taiwan. (Quote from here.)Whoa. "Highly Irresponsible"? That's it? No "Bring it on" comments from the loudmouth-in-chief? We're threatened with nuclear attack from a high ranking Chinese general, and our response is "Gosh, you didn't really mean it, did you?"Kind of a far cry from this: "There are some who feel like that the conditions are such that they can attack us there. My answer is bring them on," Bush said.I guess President Bush only makes statements like "Bring it on" against softer targets like Iraq. Like a bully on a playground, Bush doesn't pick on opponents his own size.

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

Pope Says Harry Potter Seduces Kids And Distorts Christianity

Martian Anthropologist — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 21:52:46 EDT

On Mars, we don't have organized religion; those of us that believe in a Supreme Being don't feel he is so insecure that he needs us to gather once a week to sing his praises, as people seem to believe on Earth. We also don't see a need for "religious leaders" that tell us how God wants us to live our lives. We believe that it is each person's job in life to find that out for themselves.Oddly, though, on Earth this is not the case. People on the third planet seem to thrive on being told what to do and how to behave. Religious leaders on Earth are only too eager to take advantage of this human flaw. This wouldn't be overly terrible if they would just focus on important things; sadly, in many cases they do not.Take the Catholics' leader, Pope Benedict: BERLIN (Reuters) - Pope Benedict believes the Harry Potter books subtly seduce young readers and "distort Christianity in the soul" before it can develop properly, according to comments attributed to him by a German writer. (Story here.)In this Martian's humble opinion, a child actually reading a book instead of watching television or playing a video game is a good thing.Regardless, I daresay that Harry Potter has probably harmed far less innocent children than, say, pedophilic Catholic priests. Edited: LH

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

Cops Shoot Baby

Martian Anthropologist — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 23:07:27 EDT

(CBS/AP) A toddler was shot and killed when her father used her as a shield in a gunbattle with police following an hours-long standoff, officials said. The man also died and an officer was wounded.Here's the story according the the baby's mother: The child's mother, Lorena Lopez, said she pleaded with officers to hold their fire.But then: Police called in a SWAT team and tried to speak with the man; when they at one point attempted to help a neighbor escape the area, he fired at them and they fired back, McDonnell said. Well, I wasn't there, but my question is this: What does it matter if the suspect was firing at police? Don't the cops have cars to hide behind, and bullet-proof vests?The suspect's brother had this to say: Flanked by lawyers and clerics who criticized the Los Angeles Police Department, Pena said his family -- including nine siblings -- were mainly confused and in pain. "They should have acted more patiently, knowing that there was a baby in his arms," the brother said. "It's not OK what they did."

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

Man Files Lawsuit Over Drunk Arrest

Martian Anthropologist — Mon, 11 Jul 2005 21:47:00 EDT

BOSTON -- A man arrested at a friend's house when police broke up a New Year's Eve party has filed a lawsuit arguing that he had a constitutional right to get drunk on private property as long as he didn't cause a public disturbance.Being from Mars, it amazes me that Americans actually think they are the freest nation on Earth. When you cannot even get drunk at a friend's house, you are not free."America, land of the free, home of the brave." That sentence is a classic example of humans just repeating what they are told without actually taking the time to think about whether its true or not.Read the full story here.

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.

Maureen Faibish Charged With Child Endangerment

Martian Anthropologist — Sat, 9 Jul 2005 14:36:53 EDT

I wrote here and here recently about Maureen Faibish, the fabulous mother who allegedly left her son alone with a pit bull. The son was killed by the pit bull (even though Maureen thoughtfully tried to lock her son in the basement to protect him while she ran errands).I'm a little late with this, but Maureen Faibish was charged with child endangerment June 25th, 2005. I say bravo to District Attorney Kamala Harris:District Attorney Kamala Harris said the evidence in the case "compelled" her office to file the felony charges against Maureen Faibish, who admitted that she had left her son, Nicholas, home alone with the family's two pit bulls, to run errands, even though one had bitten the 12-year-old boy earlier in the day.And:Although Harris wouldn't discuss the evidence that lead to the charges, she said witness interviews as well as physical evidence were involved. "There was a situation in that household where on the day Nicholas was killed, he was placed in a situation that at least willfully, if not through criminal negligence, was dangerous to his health and lead to his death," Harris said. Harris said there was not enough evidence in the death of Nicholas Faibish to justify a manslaughter charge. Nonetheless, the young boy's death was "completely preventable," she said. "It was a very difficult decision," Harris said. "We are not in the business of vilifying parents, but in this city, we're not in business of allowing children to be placed in situations where they can be killed."Of course, in Maureen Faibish's view (and her attorney's view) she did nothing wrong and has pled not guilty:Faibish's attorney said Friday that her client is innocent. "She maintains she didn't do anything wrong, and we stand by that,'' Lidia Stiglich said. "In hindsight, everybody makes perfect decisions,'' Stiglich said. "Let people not forget, this lady lost her son. "Any time you know what the outcome is, if you could go back you'd make different choices," Stiglich said. "The question is, is it criminal?'She didn't do anything wrong? Wow. Well, I guess that's a typical defense attorney remark. But I don't think most people would need hindsight to tell them that pit bulls are dangerous. You don't leave them alone with children. Especially not when the animal has bitten that child that same day. "The kid didn't want to go," she said. "He wanted to hang out at home. He wanted to play GameBoy, watch TV, rather than run errands with his mom.''"The kid"? He had a name. Nicholas.Aren't YOU the parent, Maureen? And if you were going to leave him at home, why didn't you tie up the dog? Nicholas was dead when his mother returned from her errands two hours later. His body was found in a front bedroom.Being a parent is the most important job on Earth. It comes with a level of responsibility that anyone that doesn't have kids just can't understand. And sadly, a lot of people that DO have kids don't understand it either.It's not good enough to say things like "In hindsight, everybody makes perfect decisions." It's not good enough to not think ahead when it comes to your child's safety.And it's not good enough to plead "not guilty" when your son is dead because of something that you could have easily prevented.Edited: bhw

The 'Martian Anthropologist' arrived here quite some time ago, and is still trying to figure these Earthlings out.