http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Thu, 8 Sep 2005 07:00:22 EDT http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. 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Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/09/08/070022.php Mark AndersonBefore The Matrix (and after The Matrix Reloaded) my movie mantra was simple&#8212no Keanu Reeves.But, because I know you all depend on me for the straight dope re: comic book films, I subjected myself to Constantine. (The reviewer has asked for donations in lieu of flowers.)Rachel Weisz plays a detective searching for the reason behind her twin sister's apparent suicide. Reeves' character shows up, visits her sister in Hell, drowns the detective, and tries to figure out why he's been attacked by an anthropomorphic swarm of insects.If this thing were mashed potatoes, it'd include The Exorcist, Hellboy and some Grade-C film noir spuds mixed so long that they become gluey and inedible.There's a lot of ominous whispering and nervous glancing, but not much else. The one plot twist is so obviously foreshadowed that by the end its really a plot turn of no more than three (+/- 2) degrees. I did however enjoy many of the scenes' compositions, but neat camera angles can only get you so far.I've never read the source material (although by default it must be better than the movie), and I don't think I'll be getting around to it soon. As for future Reeves comic book films, you guys are on your own.Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family cartoons and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. ed: JH Video35688@blogcritics.org Thu, 8 Sep 2005 07:00:22 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/09/08/023208.php Mark AndersonI had a big book buying spree near the end of last year. I think the UPS guy was delivering new cartoon books pretty constantly for a while there.Of course it takes time to get to all of them, and one I'd neglected far too long was The Complete Peanuts (1950-1952).What a great book! OK, the jokes are kind of dated, and it's a far cry from what most would recognize as Peanuts, but the germs of the strip are there and it's a fascinating and soothing read.Some high points:Page 81: In what I can tell is the first Charlie Brown baseball reference, our favorite blockhead is the catcher instead of the pitcher/manager.Page 117: The first football kicking incident is actually perpetrated by Violet. (Lucy picks it up on page 268.)Page 140: Schulz' iconic signature is rendered in a pseudo-German script following a music gag.Page 248: Schroeder breaks the fourth wall, complaining that he should "put in for a transfer to a new comic strip."I must say, sometimes I buy books like this because I think I should. You know, I am a cartoonist after all. Shouldn't I have all the Complete Peanuts on my shelf? But once I dug into it, I was surprised at how much I thoroughly enjoyed myself.Most modern cartoonists will credit Schulz as an influence as a matter of course, but it was fun to remind myself exactly what Schulz accomplished and what it meant to me.I can't wait to dig into the next volume! Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family cartoons and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Edited: PC Books35690@blogcritics.org Thu, 8 Sep 2005 02:32:08 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/23/164523.php Mark AndersonI'm a big nerd.I don't want to be excited about Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, I really don't. Lucas' last two movies have dulled what was a bright spot of my childhood.So why am I watching the old movies (yes, even Episodes I & II), reading Labyrinth of Evil and playing Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy?Somehow excitement about Star Wars stuff is just hard-wired into me, no matter how much Jar Jar you throw in.Thankfully, Genndy Tartakovsky and crew have given me a new hope (pun intended) with the beautifully conceived Clone Wars, Vol. 1.Airing originally on Cartoon Network and bridging Episodes II & III, Tartakovsky's animated shorts have the goods. Twenty episodes follow Anakin, Obi-Wan and a host of other Jedi as they wage the long awaited Clone Wars.There's plenty to keep Star Wars aficionados happy. Memorable quotes include a few "I've got a bad feeling about this" and a nice homage to Vader with Anakin commenting "I have you now" with an enemy in his ship's sites. I'd have loved to have seen a nice stormtrooper head bumping, but what are you gonna do.The episodes that impressed me most included the Kit Fisto underwater battle (this makes Aquaman look like a punk), the Mace Windu sequence (although I could have done without the doe-eyed anime child onlooker), and the hissing lightsaber duel in the rain between Anakin and Asajj Ventress.George, buddy, take a cue from Clone Wars! Less political wrangling about separatists and more cool stuff like this that made Star Wars great in the first place.(BTW, check out the latest episodes on Cartoon Network and at StarWars.com. You get to see C3PO showing off his new bod!)Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family cartoons and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Video27173@blogcritics.org Wed, 23 Mar 2005 16:45:23 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/08/210149.php Mark AndersonReleased online, then to DVD for a quick profit in early 2004, this collection of Flash-animated Looney Tunes doesn't necessarily disappoint, but it's not very good either.I'll give them credit for trying to advance the characters into the modern world. There's plenty of timely parody and pop-culture 'in' jokes, but the writing and performance just doesn't have that sparkle and dead-on timing that we've come to revere in the Looney Tunes of old.The DVD starts out with seven episodes of Daffy hosting "Mysterious Phenomena of the Unexplained" in which he runs a-fowl of everything from Sasquatch to Shakespeare's ghost.These are a nice fit for Daffy and do have some funny moments. I liked the subtle rubber glove donning of Marvin the Martian in "Who Wants to Be a Martian-Aire", and I could swear that Yosemite Sam is doing a Fat Bastard impression in "Loch Ness Mess."But for every decent laugh, there are at least three heavy-handed jokes, flat performances, or nonsensical plot turns that just leave you sort of depressed."Twick or Tweety" stands alone and stars Tweety, Sylvester and Witch Hazel in a parody of numerous horror flicks. It's pretty lame, but I enjoyed watching it just to hear June Foray again. One thing that really bothered me in this episode was Tweety remarking upon having his feathers shaken into the cauldron, "it's a living." Were the writers watching a Flintstones marathon that day or something?! Yeesh!Next comes a series of "Royal Mallard" episodes revolving around a posh building that acts as a background for supposed zaniness. These range from barely serviceable to downright poor; the one bright point being the Escher staircase pizza delivery in "Gone in 30 Minutes".There's a really sad Foghorn/Dog window washing exchange, Bugs and Daffy making it difficult for Elmer to file his efficiency report (no, seriously), and a disturbing one in which Porky calls on Pepe Le Pew's escort service. (OK, computer dating. But 'escort service' is funnier.)Other shorts include "Island of Dr. Moron", "Tech Suppork" (which actually made my wife laugh twice), "Satellite Sam" and a couple of seemingly untitled shorts.The disc wraps things up with the "Planet of the Taz" trilogy in which Duck Dodgers and Porky work their way through the old Planet of the Apes films. Again, there's one or two funny moments (love the Soylent Green reference), but these largely disappoint.All in all the animation is better than average for Flash, and while obviously not as lovely as the classic Looney Tunes, works well enough.But I honestly could have tolerated terrible artwork/animation if the writing was at least decent. To paraphrase Jerry Maguire, show me the funny. (Quick joke - What did Renee Zellweger say to Bill Cosby? "You had me at Jell-O.")Still, I'd prefer more of these pale imitations of the classics to the current Loonatics re-imagining debacle-to-be.Can I recommend Stranger Than Fiction? No. But if you're curious and you run across a copy at the library or something, it might be a way to waste ten minutes or so.Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family cartoons and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Video26466@blogcritics.org Tue, 8 Mar 2005 21:01:49 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/08/205828.php Mark AndersonLike Scotch & Toilet Water? and Tequila Mockingbird before it, Cockatiels for Two: A Book of Cat Cartoons is simply another outstanding Abrams collection of Cullum cleverness and absurdity.Focusing on feline foibles this time, Cullum's wit sparkles with captions including a young cat at the breakfast table whose human parents admit "If you must know, Jimmy, you came from a box in front of the market. It said, 'free kittens.'"Or how about the feline businessman remarking to a mouse co-worker "I take no pleasure in it, Kaplowe, but I have to kill you and devour you. It's company policy."But perhaps my favorite is one that I think can be truly classified as a cartoonist's cartoon. An awkwardly rendered cat to nearby canine "You're lucky. Dogs are easy to draw."I think what impresses me most about Cullum is that he almost never goes for the easy joke. While there is a handful of less than surprising captions, for the most part he eschews the norm and shows us jokes that seem obvious only once illuminated. One finds himself thinking "why didn't I think of that?!" while wondering if indeed you could have.All in all, Cockatiels for Two makes you glad that cats had Cullum's tongue.Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family cartoons and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Books26463@blogcritics.org Tue, 8 Mar 2005 20:58:28 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/08/205334.php Mark Anderson"Atomic batteries to power... Turbines to speed..."God help me, I do so love bad movies.It's not that I love the movies per se, but I love the humor that a bad movie creates. I'm a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and recently of the intentionally terrible The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, but Batman: The Movie (1966) holds a special place in my heart.The rubber shark fight scene... The dehydrated pirates... The clearly marked drinking water dispensers... It's all too bad/good to be true!I revel in the noble porpoise's ultimate sacrifice. I marvel at the famous bomb removal scene (Nun! Baby! Marching band! Nun! Baby! Marching band!) And Adam West! (Shatner's got nothing on you, Adam.)Let's not forget the iconic "BAM!"s or "KAPOWIE"s either. Or the unending litany of "Holy (insert alliteration here), Batman!"Foam rubber wholesaling conventions... Illegal projection buoys... Robin's disdain for bar riffraff... Good God it's bad movie heaven!The DVD includes some nice featurettes, but the commentary by the uncapped crusaders themselves is too entertaining for words.If you haven't seen it in a while, please give Batman: The Movie a place in your queue or shopping cart.ZOK!Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family cartoons and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Video26462@blogcritics.org Tue, 8 Mar 2005 20:53:34 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/03/08/204311.php Mark AndersonDaredevil is a pretty decent action film, and not a bad superhero flick as those go, but the recent director's cut of Daredevil is significantly improved from the theatrical release.Gone are the obligatory love scene and the trite confessionals, which, I believe, makes the first director's cut I've ever seen where the theatrical release is actually trimmed before glopping on deleted film.The additional material not only rounds out Daredevil's plot and deepens the characters and their relationships, but actually steers much of the film in entirely different directions. The Kingpin is introduced much earlier and with more menace. Bullseye gets an additional scene with airport security that doesn't necessarily move the plot forward, but it's really fun (think elevator scene in Spiderman 2). Elektra's death is more tragic because Daredevil never "gets" the girl, if you get what I mean.If you loved the original theatrical version, this film might not be for you, but for true fans of the genre (and those who doubt the power of good editing) Check out Daredevil - the Director's Cut.Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family cartoons and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Video26461@blogcritics.org Tue, 8 Mar 2005 20:43:11 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/01/29/163235.php Mark AndersonCrap-woman!I'm tempted to end here in tribute to the "Shark Sandwich" review in Spinal Tap, but there's too much good stuff to tell you about.The film stars Halle Berry's admirable torso as Catwoman, and Halle herself as Patience Phillips, a mousy artist for Hedare Cosmetics. But once Phillips gets flushed down the pipes (methinks director, Pitof, has watched The Fugitive one too many times) she's transformed into the sexy and morally ambiguous Catwoman. (To be honest, I might have gone with moral and sexually ambiguous instead, but that's just me.)Along the way we meet Benjamin Bratt's Detective Tom Lone (which rhymes with "bone" Patience's girlfriend informs us) as the requisite ironic love interest, Lambert Wilson as the sinister/tiresome George Hedare, and Sharon Stone as femme banal Laurel Hedare.The "story" revolves around an addictive skin cream that has horrible consequences should consumers stop using it. No, seriously. That's it - evil skin cream. But to be fair, the movie's not really about the story now is it.Catwoman is about breasts, booty and lots of them! There's plenty of sexy walking, running, jumping and bending over, and all in a skin tight leather "costume" that leaves little to the imagination.(Public Service Announcement: Berry puts on the outfit about 51:29 in...)Yet, sadly, even this doesn't help the movie. For the 10-15 minutes of brown sugar, you have to endure Berry hissing at dogs, eating fish and other cat-isms that are so bad that they're not even laughable.There's also a lot of really bad CG that's just plain silly. There's a lot of fast cuts throughout the effects shots that try to cover it up, but it's still piss poor.I rented Batman Returns and watched Michelle Pfeiffer for some comparison in both costume and attitude and I gotta tell ya, Pfeiffer wins hands down. The skipping jump rope whip, the gleeful sensuality, the breathless post-somersault "Meow"... Heck, Lee Meriwether's Comrade Kitanya 'Kitka' Irenya Tantanya Karenska Alisoff in Batman: The Movie is better than Berry.For fun I also watched Catwoman while my wife graded papers in the same room and kept track of how many times my wife said "you have got to be kidding me!" In 104 minutes I counted 11 outbursts. That's pretty much every ten minutes for those of you without an abacus.Anyway, by the end we get to see Halle and Sharon in a kung-fu slap fight and Catwoman find her way in a man's world.If you're using Netflix or Blockbuster's equivalent, it might be worth about 10 minutes of your time for the outfit, but certainly don't let this black cat cross your rental path.Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Video24860@blogcritics.org Sat, 29 Jan 2005 16:32:35 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/01/24/222709.php Mark AndersonLet's see... "Josie and the Pussycats is like a Twinkie." No, I used a food reference to start my Punisher review.OK, OK, cat references... "Hairball." No, I used that in my Garfield review. Dang!Umm... "Josie and the... Wussie-Cats!" Wow, not only is that lame, it doesn't make any sense.Well, lack of a pithy opening aside, obviously Josie and the Pussycats isn't great art. It's not even a great movie. And, to be honest, no one really intended it to be.It's pretty fluffy and formulaic (maybe Twinkie will work...) but when that's all a movie is aspiring to be it's hard to really come down on it.Based on the Archie/Hanna-Barbera characters from the 70's, Josie is basically a way for teen/tween girls to break up an afternoon of shopping at the mall and giggling about boys.It's actually cast quite well. Rachael Leigh Cook stars as the red/orange/pink-haired spunky guitarist and brings the requisite level of mousy cuteness. Tara Reid plays drummer Melody Valentine with a sexy saccharine smoky stupidity that's honestly so good you have to wonder. And Rosario Dawson rounds out the trio by stealing most scenes as sassy bassist Valerie Brown.Alan Cumming and Parker Posey are both unfortunately simply out for paychecks as the crafty do-badders looking to use the Pussycats to hide subliminal messages to control the nation's teenagers' spending habits.Parker especially turns in a performance that makes me embarrassed for her. Where is the Dairy Queen community actress or the crazed catalog snob I loved so much in recent Christopher Guest films?! You can do better Parker.Anyway, as frothy as the movie is, it actually takes a misstep and tries parody/show us the dangers of product placement and trend chasing.Throughout the movie the frames are peppered with company logos and products to drive home the point that this is bad! Not only is it heavy handed and unnecessary, I gotta believe that these companies shelled out some good dough to be included, which just sort of nullifies the whole stupid moral anyway.Yes, the musical montages are lame and numerous as we see the girls giggling, crying and washing cars, but there's actually some funny material every so often.My favorite is a scene where the girls attend a party and we get a peek into their thoughts. Josie and Valerie are both frightened and wary of their new-found fame, but Melody is singing "If You're Happy and You Know It" in her head while clapping to herself. I also enjoyed the voice of subliminal doom being the MovieFone guy.So, if you like cute young girls wearing felt cat ears and little else (and who doesn't?!), Josie and the Pussycats isn't a bad way to waste 98 minutes, but it's certainly not the attack on commercialism that the directors tried to cram in either. It's at best a guilty pleasure and at worst your typical teen flick.Oh! Oh! I got it! I got my opening! "Josie and the Pussycats is a Fig Newton! It's kinda soft and sweet and it's trying to appear to be good for you when in the end it's just junk food!"(I know it's a food reference, but I really like Fig Newtons.)Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Video24646@blogcritics.org Mon, 24 Jan 2005 22:27:09 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/01/16/220230.php Mark AndersonI'm a huge Simpsons fan, so it's only natural that I'm drawn to Groening's Futurama as well, and the second set of DVDs is as good, if not better, than the first.I think the writers, having gotten the first season under their collective belt, feel a little more comfortable in the show's skin and really let loose with some outstanding laugh-out-loud stuff.Episodes include:"I Second that Emotion" (Bender and his 'shiny metal ass' learn, OK, are forced, to feel.)"Brannigan Begin Again" (Oh how I wish Phil Hartman were around to voice the Shatneresque Brannigan!)"A Head in the Polls" (Again with the Nixon bashing!)"Xmas Story" (John Goodman stars as killer robot Claus.)"Why Must I Be a Crustacean in Love?" (A look at the sci-fi "I must return to my planet to mate" staple.)"The Lesser of Two Evils" (Bender's evil twin sports a nifty goatee.)"Put Your Head on My Shoulders" (Amy and Fry share Amy's body in more ways than one.)"Raging Bender" (Favorite line from Professional Robot Fighting League bad guy, The Foreigner - "I'm not from here! I have my own customs! Look at my crazy passport!")"A Bicyclops Built for Two" (Shape shifting romance in bloom!)"A Clone of My Own" (The professor produces his clone Cubert.)"How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" (Love the naughty neat freak replacement for Hermes! "You dirty, DIRTY boy!")"The Deep South" (Fry falls for a mermaid. Kind of a weak episode.)"Bender Gets Made" (Bender joins the mafia. It was only a matter of time.)"Mother's Day" (The professor's only hope of saving mankind is getting it on with Mom.)"The Problem with Popplers" (A great takeoff on Tribbles.)"Anthology of Interest" (My favorite episode on the set! Brilliant stuff from beginning to end!)"War Is the H-Word" (Brannigan - "You'll be negotiating with the aliens' mysterious leaders: The Brain Balls. They got a lot of brains and they got a lot of chutzpah.")"The Honking" (HONK HONK!)"The Cryonic Woman" (Fry gets back with his old girlfriend and doesn't "regret this. But I both rue and lament it.")Why Fox never gave this show a better slot (every week the damn NFL ran long) is beyond me. Anyway, if you're looking for some really smart/naughty cartoon fun, give Futurama: Volume 2 a place in your Netflix queue.Mark Anderson is a professional cartoonist whose family and business cartoons appear in publications nationwide. Video24299@blogcritics.org Sun, 16 Jan 2005 22:02:30 EST