http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Wed, 8 Dec 2004 11:27:41 EST http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. 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Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/12/08/112741.php Kevin McCallumAs everyone probably knows, yesterday was the 63rd anniversary of the "day that will live in infamy."I'm not going to spend any time writing about the event, other than to say that every soldier who died that day died a hero's death. I have walked over the wreckage of the U.S.S. Arizona, and it remains to this day a truly humbling experience.I'll let those in the proper positions lead the memorials. Instead, I will head in a different, and far less significant direction.A few years ago Hollywood sank its teeth into the story of Pearl Harbor, producing a movie in 2001 that left much to be desired.I was a strong critic of director Michael Bay's movie making abilities long before he made his disasterpiece. Back to back brain dead macho action flicks Bad Boys (1995) and The Rock (1996) were a sign of things to come.Neither one could be accused of being smart. But both are Oscar calibre when compared to Bay's next film, Armageddon (1998), which was saddled with atrocious screenwriting and broke almost every scientific rule in the book.Memo to Mr. Bay: Sound in space we can live with since every sci-fi flick not called 2001 has broken that rule. But surely he must know that fires can't burn in a vaccuum.It would seem that he doesn't.After the unbelievably mind numbing success of Armageddon (no doubt due to the numbing of minds immediately before the purchasing of tickets), Bay decided to tackle the tragedy of Battleship Row. The movie couldn't have been in less capable hands.Rather than make a dignified historical piece, Bay instead opted for a grandiose soap opera, no doubt trying to capture the magic that James Cameron had snared with Titanic in 1997. He failed miserably.The scenes of the attack at Pearl Harbor worked well enough, but it was somewhat difficult to really feel the tragedy of the moment because it was sandwiched by such a sudsy back story. Stars Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett played Bay's usual macho stereotypes, scrapping over the girl just long enough for viewers to feel sad when one of them seemingly bites it at the end of the flick. Instead of tears for the many who perished during the battle, viewers are instead feeling the muted pain of a broken love triangle.The film should have been called Love Story in Waikiki, with Ali MacGraw as a technical advisor.In the end, Pearl Harbor is just another example of Hollywood blinded by dollar signs. As for Michael Bay, he should give up filmmaking and do what he does best. Whatever that is. Video23050@blogcritics.org Wed, 8 Dec 2004 11:27:41 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/10/18/002617.php Kevin McCallumAlso posted at THE RANT KINGChristopher Reeve may be gone, but Superman lives. The movie franchise, at least. Actually, Superman Lives used to be a working title for one of the many false starts that the franchise has seen in the past few years. But it seems as though a movie might finally get made.A few months ago, X-Men and The Usual Suspects helmer Bryan Singer was given the somewhat arduous task of making Superman fly again. He was the latest in a long line of directors attached to the project, officially or otherwise. But Singer seems to be making the headway that the others could not. The movie is no longer in pre-production hell.But one critical thing is still missing -- a man to wear the big "S" on his chest. And depending on which news/rumour site you read, that big guy will either be Jim Caviezel or Brandon Routh.Brandon Who? Yeah, I haven't heard of him either. Mind you, before The Passion of the Christ, I hadn't heard of Jim Caviezel.Singer is on record as stating he'd prefer to cast an unknown as Superman, which displeases those who like big names in their films. But then Christopher Reeve used to be Joe Nobody before he went and Clarke Kented himself. That particular bit of casting turned out pretty darn good.Routh, like Reeve before him, has little claim to fame. Unless you're a fanatical follower of ABC sudser One Life to Live, you probably have no clue what he even looks like.Caviezel, on the other hand, played Jesus Christ for Mel Gibson. Whether he's famous for portraying the Messiah or for being in "that Mel Gibson movie" depends on how religious you are. But either way, Jim Caviezel has reached the hallowed land of stardom, which makes him nobody's nobody.So what's it going to be, Mr. Singer? Do you go with the proven, though somewhat older commodity in Caviezel? Or, like Dick Donner before you, do you roll the dice and cast young whatshisname?Just please, let us all know soon, so we can get this damn thing in the movie houses where it belongs. Video21098@blogcritics.org Mon, 18 Oct 2004 00:26:17 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/09/10/172316.php Kevin McCallumAhem. Joey Tribbiani has moved to Los Angeles and, like many a traveller, his belongings didn't quite make it with him. Stupid Movers & Shakers. Tee-hee-hee...Alright, so the first episode of Joey was only about one-sixth as funny as the average Friends episode. It wasn't for lack of trying. There were some funny bits (look for blood soaked shirts, Dallas cabbies and difficulty with red lights), and some bad (some agents should remain secret). Also noticeable was the requisite overkill of references to fake breasts. Geez, you'd have thought Dow Corning was a sponsor.As for the old show, there was some mention. While you can take the Joey out of Friends, you can't completely take Friends out of Joey. For those who didn't see it, I won't give away the whole episode. But I will let one cat out of the bag -- there was at least one "Chandler is gay" reference.The casting seems solid enough. Drea de Matteo (The Sopranos) is both tough and saucy as Joey's sister Gina. Paulo Costanzo is her son Michael, a young rocket scientist (no joke) who would like nothing more than to become Uncle Joey's roomie. Andrea Anders is the alluring neighbor across the hall who may or may not end up dribbling Joey's heart like a basketball.But you can't win 'em all. The series' creators added one more character designed to resemble the sound of fingernails on a blackboard. It seems that while Joey escaped from the slightly warped grasp of the late Estelle, his New York agent, he's found an able, but somewhat manic replacement in Bobbie, overplayed to the hilt by Jennifer "Bend and Snap" Coolidge.Ms. Coolidge is listed in the opening credits as a regular. But her character is more than a little one dimensional -- and annoying. Downgrade her to recurring and she might have a future that doesn't involve me reaching into my TV and choking the life out of her.So there you have it, the first episode of Joey in all its ambiguity. If you missed the premiere, so be it. It could have been better and it could have been worse. But it was decent enough, and with several Friends alumni on the writing and production side of things, here's hoping it finds itself real soon. Video19694@blogcritics.org Fri, 10 Sep 2004 17:23:16 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/08/04/223501.php Kevin McCallumThrough early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see, that...Suicide is painless It brings on many changes And I can take or leave it if I please--Robert Altman is the acclaimed, and some would say eccentric, director of many movies. Some I like and some I find (DIPLOMATIC MODE "ON"), um, interesting. My favourite Altman flick is M*A*S*H, which was based on a book by Richard Hooker and was spun-off into what is arguably the greatest sit-com ever.You Seinfeld fans, just hold your tongues.I enjoy Altman's film for many reasons. It's gritty and dark, giving a fairly accurate portrayal of just how much war is hell, albeit from the viewpoint of surgeons, not soldiers.It's also very funny with some terrific performances. As much as I like Alan Alda in the series, I like Donald Sutherland's interpretation of Hawkeye Pierce a lot more. Sutherland's Pierce has the same dark sense of humor as Alda's Hawkeye, but it's more restrained and less campy.There's also a great supporting cast, including Elliott Gould, Sally Kellerman, Robert Duvall, John Schuck, Gary Burghoff (who played the same character in the series) and Jo-Ann Pflug.But in my opinion, the most intriguing thing about the movie has nothing to do with the story. Rather, it's about the theme song. You've probably heard "Suicide Is Painless" in some form or another, whether it's the instrumental opening to the TV series, or the full song that kicks off the movie.It's a haunting tune with lyrics that capture the desperate and melancholy moods that a soldier in combat might be feeling. So, who wrote the song? Johnny Mandel is responsible for the music, but those words are from the brain of Mike Altman.Why is this significant? Mike Altman is the director's son, but that's not it. What IS worth noting is the fact that the younger Altman was only 14 years-old when he wrote the lyrics.Let's see the Hilary Duff's of today's plastic, little world top that! Video18291@blogcritics.org Wed, 4 Aug 2004 22:35:01 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/07/27/224108.php Kevin McCallumPierce Brosnan has said it before and now he's said it again: He's finished wearing the tux of one, James Bond.Or is he?In an upcoming Entertainment Weekly, Brosnan says that Die Another Day was his last time saving the world. Whether that ends up being the case remains to be seen. After all, Sean Connery quit as James Bond after 1967's You Only Live Twice, an ironic title since Connery skipped the next picture, only to bring Bond back to life one more time in a couple of years later.Then there was that Thunderball remake...Brosnan might be posturing for the sake of negotiating a better deal. Or, more likely, he's just sick of the dithering of the franchise-producing Broccoli family. If this movie does get made with Brosnan, they might just call the film It's About F**king Time.So, while we wait an eternity, here's my review of the Bond films, for those who care:DR. NO (1962) 9.5/10 It's probably still my favorite Bond movie, if only because it's not really like any of the others. The gadgets are minimilized and the scene where Bond confronts a corrupt doctor is a classic. The fact that this movie inspired A Man Called Flintstone might also have something to do with it.FROM RUSSIA, WITH LOVE (1963) 9/10 The fight on the train is one of the greatest Bond scenes. Robert Shaw, with that sneer of his, is the ultimate bad guy. It's a shame that he died of a heart attack in 1978. He would have made a pretty good Austin Powers assassin.GOLDFINGER (1964) 9/10 Considered by many to be the finest Bond movie. Bond's round of golf with the title character is amusing, but also a foreshadowing of Goldfinger's competitiveness. Goldfinger's "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die," line is my all-time Bond favorite. And lest I forget Pussy Galore...THUNDERBALL (1965) 8/10 This is the one that launched a thousand lawsuits (come back in 18 years). The story was a co-credited to Bond creator Ian Fleming and Kevin McClory. It's a good tale, and has some great underwater cinematography, including an epic battle between good and bad.YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (1967) 7/10 Sean Connery had had enough when this one was done. It's very uneven, with it's plot of space terrorism being both appropriate and a little scary for its time. Watch for Q's Little Nellie, a lady unlike no other.ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE (1969) 8/10 This is the first Bond flick that was Connery-less. No matter how hard George Lazenby tries, he just can't fill Sean Connery's shoes. Still, the movie works because of a solid plot and incredibly beautiful cinematography. The opening sequence is full of action and is capped with a very humorous quip from Lazenby.DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971)7/10 To hell with the plot, the gadgets and the fact that Sean Connery came back (for a million dollars, unheard of for a lead actor in those days). This one is all about Jill St. John. She puts the OOH in ooh la la! Ahem, it's an okay flick, but Connery's performance shows that, for this one at least, it was all about the money.LIVE AND LET DIE (1973)7/10 It's probably better known for it's theme song, written and performed by Paul McCartney & Wings, and its Bond girl (Jane Seymour) than it is for being the debut of Roger Moore as 007. Moore does okay, which is just as well because if it had been Roger Moore from Moonraker he would have only lasted for one film.THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1974) 4/10 If Bond were a TV show, this would have been the one where he jumps the shark. He comes close, jumping over a street in a speedboat. Christopher Lee is fine as the villain, but what the heck is the late Herve Villechaize doing there?THE SPY WHO LOVED ME (1977) 9/10 Anyone who said Roger Moore sucked as Bond has never seen this one. Well, he still sort of sucked, but this one rivals pretty much any Connery flick for intrigue, suspense and undersea special effects.MOONRAKER (1979) 3/10 There are only two things that DON'T suck about this movie. One is the theme song by the incomparable Shirley Bassey. The other is the space shuttle effects, a full two years before the real thing launched. The movie is just too long for its own good.FOR YOUR EYES ONLY (1981) 7/10 The Bond producers showed a little imagination by having theme singer Sheena Easton appear onscreen during the opening credits. The film itself is decent, with some inventive snow-bound action. The much younger and extremely cute Lynn-Holly Johnson's flirting with Bond is very funny. You can just see Bond's pain at not being able to climb under the sheets with her. Because, like, that would be icky.OCTOPUSSY (1983) 7/10 Maud Adams made her second appearance as a Bond girl in this one (she also appeared in The Man with the Golden Gun). The opening sequence, with Bond in a small plane flying through a building, is exciting. One of Moore's better efforts.NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN (1983) 8/10 Not an official Bond film (it was produced by Warner Brothers instead of United Artists), it is notable for another return by Connery to the role. Thunderball co-writer Kevin McClory won a court case that gave him the right to remake the 1965 film. With Kim Basinger along for the ride, Connery did not disappoint.A VIEW TO A KILL (1985) 5/10 A wicked theme song by Duran Duran, and Roger Moore's swan song... finally. Moore is a very tired and rapidly aging Bond in this one. Still it has its moments, both good and bad. The Mayday chase in Paris is fun, and Christopher Walken chews up the scenery something wicked as the villain Max Zorin. But what is up with Tanya Roberts and her dress? What will it take to get that garment dirty?THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS (1987) 8/10 Timothy Dalton makes his first of two appearances as Bond, and he does the tux proud. He brings an edge back to the role not seen since Thunderball.LICENCE TO KILL (1989) 8.5/10 Don't piss off James Bond -- that's the message of this one. After Bond's CIA pal Felix Leiter is fed to the sharks by the henchmen of a sadistic drug lord, Bond goes looking for vengeance. And he's willing to give up his licence to kill to do it. It's a shame that legal wrangling prevented Dalton from donning the tux a third time.GOLDENEYE (1995) 8.5/10 The legal difficulties that plagued the Bond franchise in the early nineties were finally cleared up, but Timothy Dalton no longer wanted the role. Enter Pierce Brosnan, who ironically was up for the role when it was awarded to Dalton, and would have won it if not for television politics. Brosnan is perfect in the role. The film was a throwback to the Connery era, with Brosnan being all gruff and arrogant, but so good looking. Sean Bean, who would leave a significant mark in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, was superb, as well.TOMORROW NEVER DIES (1997) 7/10 Never underestimate the power of the press. Teri Hatcher is the Bond girl and Jonathan Pryce is the bad guy. One out of two ain't bad. But wait, there's another Bond girl. And she kicks some serious ass. Michelle Yeoh is Bond's partner in saving the world in this one. It's uneven, but definitely has its moments.THE WORLD IS NOT ENOUGH (1999) without Richards, 8/10; with 1/10; overall, 4/10 Just what the heck were the producers thinking? Denise Richards? Well, the opening sequence, unusually over-long for a Bond film, was definitely entertaining. The entire first half of the movie was entertaining. Then Richards showed up and ruined everything.DIE ANOTHER DAY (2002) 9/10 Aah, much better. Lee Tamahori's direction was as refreshing as any Bond movie, ever. John Cleese, as Q, did a solid job in taking over for the late Desmond Llewelyn. Brosnan's Bond was tougher than usual, no doubt due to Bond's captivity and torture in the opening.BOND 21 (200?) ?/10 Video17947@blogcritics.org Tue, 27 Jul 2004 22:41:08 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/07/22/000125.php Kevin McCallumSome guys have all the luck. Sometimes that luck is even good.Rumors being what they are in the motion picture biz, take what I am about to relate with a five pound grain of salt. Feel free to wash it down with some industrial strength Perrier.John McClane is making a comeback. If the name isn't as familiar as it should be, think cop with attitude. Then add unlucky, unruly and unshaven and you might be heading in the right direction.Think Die Hard.Everybody's favourite Christmas-time terrorist fighter is going to give it another go. Maybe. Like other movie franchises that get the hiccups (sorry, Indiana), this flick has been a long time in the making. It was almost made a couple of years ago, when Willis spent his time fighting bad guys in the jungle, but the producers changed direction. As such, there was no John McClane in Tears of the Sun.Whether DH4 (an actual possible title) gets going this time is anyone's best guess. The only certainty is Willis in the starring role. The rest is rumor. Such as John McTiernan directing again. McTiernan did an amazing job on the original. He also helmed the third film in the series, which was full of classic McClane moments, but ended up way overlong in the end.The second prime rumor had Britney Spears getting the part of McClane's daughter, who supposedly gets kidnapped. I don't really know what to think of this one, although I have visions of moviegoers chanting "KILL HER" every time a bad guy shares the screen with poor Lucy McClane.The third whopper is the star's desire to see John McClane go out with a bang. According to those in the know (who or whatever they are), Willis figures he'll finally be left alone if McClane is put in a body bag at the end of the flick.That would make for a bittersweet ending to an exciting movie franchise. It would also be somewhat ironic, since Willis's career dies a little bit every time he plays a character NOT named John McClane. Video17698@blogcritics.org Thu, 22 Jul 2004 00:01:25 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/07/20/214112.php Kevin McCallumThe future days of polyester, which come from the past, are soon to be among us once again.Seriously.All of this nonsense is a celebration of bad writing, bad special effects and bad costumes. Oh, and bad timing. I'm getting to the point, really, I am.Okay, enough torture. The celebration in question will occur on November 16 when Buck Rogers in the 25th Century makes its way to DVD. All 36 episodes of suave and snarky Gil Gerard, lithe and satiny Erin Gray, and 100% recyclable Twiki will be available for your viewing (guilty) pleasure.I know I'm showing my age by admitting that I watched this show when it debuted in 1979 on NBC. I watched it the next week, too. And probably a few more times after that. Could I help it if it was the cheesiest thing since Velveeta? I was eleven, for crying out loud.But oh, what fun. From the opening episode, which was also shown theatrically, Buck was the ultimate fish out of water. He would spend every episode applying his ancient 1980's values to solve 25th century problems.Naturally, he always succeeded. Mind you, he did have help. There was always Gray's Wilma Deering riding shotgun. But the believability was blown right there. Some cavemen from the seventies were heard complaining that a woman could never be a leader in the military. But not me. Since I had gone through neither chauvinism training nor puberty, my big concern was the notion of a 25th century woman being named Wilma.But that would be nitpicking.Of course, the fromage was short-lived. The series lasted only two years. Anyone who abandoned the show after the first season because it was too, um, silly would have thrown themselves under a bus had they been forced to watch season two.But life is full of second chances. Thankfully, those of us who might be inclined to place ourselves beneath the workhorses of public transportation are now way too old for that kind of sh-tuff. Video17666@blogcritics.org Tue, 20 Jul 2004 21:41:12 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/07/18/203625.php Kevin McCallumDale Earnhardt Jr. is one lucky sonofagun.Junior thought he'd take the opporunity of using a weekend off from the usual NASCAR challenges by doing some fancy dancing in a Le Mans Series car. He was doing great during practice -- until he wrecked the car and it erupted into flames.He suffered second degree burns to his chin, and the inside of both legs, but should be okay to race in next weekend's Nextel Cup event in New Hampshire. Naturally, the accident reminded many of the fatal crash of Dale Sr. during the last lap of the 2001 Daytona 500.Thankfully, history didn't repeat itself this time. Sports17574@blogcritics.org Sun, 18 Jul 2004 20:36:25 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/07/12/231755.php Kevin McCallumAnother day, another Beatles rumor. Not about any reunions, though. I'm fairly certain that Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney aren't planning on taking part in any suicide pacts.But there is some (potentially false) hope for those who grew up listening to the American editions of the Beatles' earlier stuff. Abbeyrd's Beatle Page is reporting that Capitol Records is planning to release a box set of American releases from 1964, including Meet the Beatles, Something New, The Beatles Story, The Beatles' Second Album and Beatles '65.These records were always a bit of a sore spot for the Fab Four, as they felt that Capitol had somewhat bastardized their music. They might have a point. Capitol was notorious for their dubious use of Beatles product, shortchanging American music buyers by including fewer tracks in order to squeeze out more albums.But it's the mixes that really got the boys' backs up. Some of the tracks were treated to excess echo and double-tracking vocals was done to the extreme.When the Beatles catalogue was initially released on CD in 1987, there was no sign of the American albums. This was the wish of the surviving Beatles and Yoko Ono. It remains that way to this day.Fans of the American track lineups were left to be content with whatever original vinyl they had left. But on November 16, that will all change.Or it's just another stupid rumor.Also posted at The Rant King Music17376@blogcritics.org Mon, 12 Jul 2004 23:17:55 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2004/07/06/215235.php Kevin McCallumI did something today that I hardly ever do anymore. I actually pried my backside off the chair in front of the computer and left the house. Destination unknown? Hardly. I went to a movie.The flick that I decided to gamble a portion of my life savings on was Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. I won't hide the fact that I'm a Potter fan, having read the first four books. I'm currently reading the fifth.Everything I've heard and read about this movie is pretty much bang on. The three kids give terrific performances. Gary Oldman chews the scenery wonderfully as the "villain" of the piece. And Michael Gambon gives some extra zip to the role of Albus Dumbledore, previously played by the late Richard Harris.Behind the camera, director Alfonso Cuaron gives the Potter franchise the dark tone the third story required. He also gives Hogwarts some height. Almost every scene outside the castle is looking down some big hill or cliff, making the place seem a bit more dangerous than Chris Columbus did in helming the first two films.All in all, Azkaban is one terrific ride.Fortunately or unfortunately, I had the opportunity to see this film on the IMAX big screen. I was fortunate to get the IMAX experience. I was unfortunate to be billed the IMAX price, about three bucks more than a regular screen.If you don't know about IMAX you can either look it up on a search engine, or you can watch the infomercial they play before every IMAX film at the Famous Players Coliseum in Mississauga, Ontario.When I use the word infomercial, I'm only half joking. For about five minutes I, and the twenty or so other lost souls in the theater, were treated to a laser light and sound show worthy of Pink Floyd. The Discovery Channel part of me found it very interesting. My bladder, however, was less than impressed. With a long movie to look forward to, and a large drink in hand, the last thing I needed was a delay in reaching the closing credits.Leak and learn, I guess. Next time I'll order the small drink. Video17174@blogcritics.org Tue, 6 Jul 2004 21:52:35 EDT