Blogcritics Author: Junichi Semitsu

Announcement: Short-content feeds

Phillip Winn — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT

Sunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding.

TV Review: Behind The Scenes at So You Think You Can Dance

Junichi Semitsu — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 13:45:30 EDT

The producers of So You Think You Can Dance (SYTYCD) invited Blogcritics Magazine to go behind the scenes and attend a taping of tonight’s show.For those not in the know, SYTYCD, now in its third season, was born in 2005 as an inferior American Idol knockoff, but slowly blossomed into a guilty pleasure, and has since evolved into the best reality series on television. Even if, like me, you have an irrational hatred of the pasa doble and too many left feet to master the macarena, this show will make like a mustache and grow on you.Week after week, the show spotlights young dancers – from ballet dancers to b-boys – performing superbly choreographed routines in genres that span the chasm between krumping and quickstep. This season, the producers have also effectively highlighted the personalities of the dancers such that Thursday’s elimination show is a weekly exercise in heartbreak. Unlike other reality shows that celebrate humiliation, showcase obnoxious personalities, or force contestants to compete in pointless battles, SYTYCD is the rare show that celebrates improvement, showcases talent, and forces contestants to compete in the realm in which they aspire to retire. The judges are brutally honest but, in contrast to Idol, rarely take delight in stabbing contestants in the heart. The only thing this writer was unsure about is whether this reality show actually represents reality. After all, each week, dancers are forced to perform partner routines in genres often outside their element. Imagine a breaker, with no formal training, doing lifts in a contemporary tale or syncopated steps in a foxtrot routine that she only had a few hours to learn. Surely, one would expect to see mangled flips, tangled arms, or strangled necks. Yet, this season, the bloopers and blunders were nonexistent. Ever the skeptic, I imagined that FOX, which does not air the performance show live, allows retakes until each team delivers the best possible performance of the routine. I was wrong. And now, I am in further awe of the contestants.As I entered Stage 46 in CBS Television City, I immediately sensed the community and the cult status that this show has engendered. I passed celebrities like Vanessa Williams and Kids in the Hall comedian Scott Thompson, who were obviously big fans. I spotted two of last season’s finalists, Donyelle Jones and Heidi Groskreutz, making the rounds with old friends, while two of this season’s eliminated contestants, Jimmy Arguello and Jesús Solorio, warmly embraced one another. Even two of the contestants' swing-dancing father, Buddy Schwimmer, who has become known for always holding an electronic LED sign while sitting in the audience, is greeted like a national celebrity. As I took my seat, Corey, the show’s hypeman, rallied enthusiasm from the crowd. His duties were unnecessary, however, since all the rabid teenagers in the audience worshipped the dancers and screamed at the sight of any of them. Suddenly, I could imagine Beatlemania. The audience frenzy never distracted me from the amazing fact that this two hour show practically taped in real time. Indeed, no routine was ever performed twice. Only a few pickups from beautiferous host Cat Deeley were ever recorded multiple times. Up first, Lacey Schwimmer and Kameron Bink nailed the hustle but didn’t out-stun their previous weeks’ routines. Lacey’s bejeweled Wonder Woman headband also helped to distract from Kameron’s unsettling hair. Judging by the multiple Lacey signs around me, the fact that she has never landed in the bottom three, and her seemingly effortless performances, Lacey probably has the best odds of winning the competition ... if not for the fact that her brother won last year.Cedric Gardner, who is clearly the heart and soul of the competition, and partner Shauna Noland turned in a decent mambo that finally convinced judge Mary Murphy that Cedric deserves to stay in the competition. If you ask me, Cedric deserves to stay on the sole grounds that he is the only human who can dance in a way that creates the illusion that he has no bone in his lanky body. Cedric was clearly aided by the more experienced Shauna, who has the intense passion of Alex Owens, which is a Flashdance reference for those too young to remember that steel mill welders can make great exotic dancers. Russian ballroom dancer Anya Garnis and ballet dancer Danny Tidwell performed a compelling contemporary routine that won rave reviews but also gave the judges an opportunity to point out that Danny’s ego appears to be cashing checks that his sculpted body can’t cash.B-girl Sara Von Gillern and ballroom aficionado Pasha Kovalev then danced together for the first time since their respective partners were eliminated from last week’s merciless guillotine. Performing a west coast swing to Fatboy Slim’s “Rockafeller Skank,” the newly-formed duo turned in a clear crowd-pleaser. Next, Sabra Johnson and Dominic Sandoval performed a romantic hip hop routine invented by Shane Sparks, who is undoubtedly the best hip hop choreographer alive today. Not only did Sabra and Dominic stun the crowd with a sexy performance, they seemed rather affectionate off-camera. (In case they’re already in committed relationships, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they were just rehearsing their chemistry.) Undoubtedly, Dominic’s family, who was sitting in front of me wearing customized shirts with messages like “Vote For My Nephew – Dominic D-Trix,” were thrilled regardless.The penultimate couple was Jaimie Goodwin and Hokuto “Hok” Konishi. Hok, the most mesmerizing and humble breaker to ever grace my television screen, looked uncomfortable even before the routine began. Dancing a waltz and dressed in a conservative vest, Hok survived the emotional routine, largely due to Hok's mantastic charisma and Jaimie’s spectacular lines. Finally, if Neil Haskell and Lauren Gottlied don’t get eliminated this week, they only have one man to thank: choreographer Wade Robson, whose inventive routines have repeatedly mesmerized the judges and the audience. Neil and Lauren’s jazz stomp was easily the most well-received. Unfortunately, Lauren’s nonsensical remark that she pretends to be Asian will probably not play well. The routines were so brilliantly executed that judge Mary Murphy, off camera, remarked that this was the best show she has seen in all three seasons. Guest judge Adam Shankman, who is the director and choreographer of the upcoming film, Hairspray, also seemed to fall deeper in love with the dancers. The impact of this show, however, became most transparent when I left the studio. As I followed the crowd to the parking lot, I overheard another young audience member gush, “Oh my God, I can’t believe I touched Danny’s hand.”

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

How A Prince in Fresno Became The Queen

Junichi Semitsu — Wed, 16 May 2007 20:09:53 EDT

It is with both shock and pride that I respond to the news that my birthplace of Fresno, California has achieved a milestone in transgender rights. Last month, Fresno Unified School District courageously altered district policy to allow transgender Fresno High student Cinthia/Cynthia Covarrubias to don a tux and run for prom king. While Cinthia lost, he paved the way for another local transgender student, Johnny "Crystal" Vera, to run for Prom Queen at Fresno's Roosevelt High. When I first heard the story, I imagined Crystal as a social outcast. But as it turns out, not only is she -- her gender pronoun of choice -- hardly a misfit, she is one of Roosevelt High's most popular and beloved. In addition to being a former class vice president and one of the most celebrated cheerleaders at her school, Crystal is a former homecoming prince. With many supporters cheering her on, she mounted a campaign that garnered local news coverage.Then, last Saturday, like many other high schools girls across America, Crystal was crowned her high school's Prom Queen. But unlike any others, Crystal followed the trailblazing footsteps of Jackie Robinson and Sally Ride into the history book of firsts. Fresno student Johnny "Crystal" Vera is the first openly transgender student in the United States of America to ever be selected Prom Queen.I shamefully assumed her victory was due, at best, to an ironic vote propelled by something similar to the Sanjaya movement. But local news and blogs confirm that her crowning was a genuine, unconditional affirmation of her likable and inspirational qualities. The crying and cheering that followed the reading of her name speaks for itself.The moving story of her path to royalty is one that makes me feel better about our future and dramatically better about Fresno. As a child born and raised in California's Central Valley, I was indoctrinated with a wicked case of homophobia that only a progressive education at U.C. Berkeley could undo. Until last month, I couldn't imagine that Fresno would make national news with regard to LGBT issues for anything other than an unconscionable hate crime.I painfully chuckled during John Cameron Mitchell’s film, Shortbus, when the character Severin, a confused dominatrix-for-hire, laments, "What if I can't afford to live in New York anymore? Where would I go -- Fresno?" But Fresno -- always the butt of jokes and not helped by the fact that Kevin Federline was born and raised there -- gets the last laugh.I'm not naively assuming that Fresno is now a bastion of tolerance or a Mecca for transgender students. I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes the only remaining city to refuse to recognize gay marriages. But in a country that has yet to pass federal anti-discrimination laws to protect gays and lesbians from workplace bigotry, I'll take progress wherever I can find it. If students at a school in Fresno can crown a transgender student as Prom Queen, then it can happen anywhere.At last, I can say, without irony, FresNO? FresYES! And hail to the Queen!

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

DVD Review: United 93

Junichi Semitsu — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 03:31:27 EDT

In a year of notable documentaries and faux-documentaries, United 93, a film that fictionalizes part of the events of September 11, 2001, stands out as one of the most real, in every sense of the word. British director Paul Greengrass combines his documentary savoir-faire with his action movie résumé to make a movie more meticulously crafted than the average documentary and more adrenaline-pumping than the average Bruckheimer film. Using a hand-held camera, a top-notch ensemble cast, and a collective painting of one fateful morning, Greengrass recreates the drama and tragedy of 9/11 in real-time. His use of actual aviation officials, air traffic controls, pilots, flight attendants, and military personnel only adds to the film's authenticity. As hard as it is to sit through this film, it's easy to watch and imagine the myriad ways the film could've been transformed into a disgusting exploitation. Thankfully, Greengrass smartly refrains from cliché one-liners. Passenger Todd Beamer's famous "Let's roll" line could've easily destroyed this film's integrity, had it been placed in the hands of someone who might've opportunistically converted it into a battle cry to cue the climactic theme music. The talented company of actors -- none who are famous and some who aren't even actors -- milk the most out of ordinary lines like "Tell my family I love them." The script intentionally lacks an ounce of poetic or artfully crafted bumper-sticker dialogue, serving as a chilling reminder of the words each of us -- even the poets among us -- would likely utter in such a situation. Greengrass also manages to portray the hijackers in a way that humanizes them and exposes their vulnerabilities, in sharp contrast to the cartoonish ways the administration and numerous pundits have branded them as simply "the terrorists" or "evil." When we see them pray or call family to express love, we see a fear, love, and religious piety that foreshadows what the other passengers exhibit, hours later. Their unconscionable decision competes for the audience's rage with the slow response of the White House. (Before the end credits, the audience learns "Military commanders were not notified that United 93 had been hijacked until four minutes after it had been hijacked. The nearest fighter jets were 100 miles away.") Their inaction, of course, sets up the need for the civilians onboard the plane to save the Capitol building. Greengrass's DVD commentary includes smart ruminations on everything from the hijackers' act of hijacking the tolerant tenets of Islam to his decision to cut the original opening scene set in Osama bin Laden's camp in impoverished Taliban-controlled Afghanistan. John Powell's harrowing soundtrack builds upon the existing tension in subtle ways. Ubiquitous throughout the film is his thumping, pulsating, reverberating bass drum intended to mimic a heartbeat. This audio technique, often used in the soundtracks of thrillers, frightfests, and action films, seems entirely unnecessary here. Indeed, my own heartbeat was pulsing at the tempo of a drum and bass song, while the United 93 soundtrack was marching to a funeral dirge. While United 93 is not the exploitative movie-of-the-week some predicted, it isn't exactly the best tribute to the flight's victims. That's because the DVD contains a bonus documentary capturing many of the actors meeting with the families of the victims whom they're portraying. Whereas the film is a tribute to the courage of ordinary humans, the DVD bonus doc, directed by Kate Solomon, is a moving eulogy to the victims and a fitting testimonial to the grief their families continue to endure. In one scene, Daniel Sauli, the actor who plays Richard Guadagno in the film, shows up to Richard's family's house. One by one, we watch Richard's family get closer to closure from the experience. Richard's sister talks about the struggle between protecting her brother's privacy and keeping his legacy alive. Ultimately, she concludes she's "grateful that Richard will not be an invisible passenger in the film." In an eerie and painfully moving moment, Richard's family notes how Daniel is wearing similar things to what Richard used to wear and remarks how "handsome" he is. When Daniel, the actor, cries, I can't imagine any viewer not shedding tears. In another moving moment, actress Trieste Dunne meets with the family of Deora Bodley, whom Dunne portrays. Deora's family and friends lovingly share how they carry Deora's ashes with them, read parts of her journal, and discuss how they had to tell the FBI about her tattoos to identify her body. Since not all 40 victims' families are included, I can't help but wonder whether some objected, dissented, or otherwise hesitated to support a commercial movie documenting their loved ones' tragic death. Nonetheless, on the DVD documentary, nearly everyone interviewed makes clear they want this film to be seen so their loved ones' memories are preserved. I wholeheartedly concur with the sentiment.

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

CD Review: Dusk and Summer, Dashboard Confessional

Junichi Semitsu — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 22:29:50 EDT

We all harbor that dark secret, that guiltiest of private pleasures, that would cause any of us to spontaneously unravel and implode if the wrong persons unearthed our classified information.As for me, I never shot choreographed home videos of me lip-synching to Milli Vanilli. I never wrote diary entries in which I confessed my love for the geeky vice president of the chess club. And I certainly don't wear the shame of my friend Leigh who experimented with alternative places to put peanut butter for Lady, her family dog, to lick. (To maintain her privacy, I should note that I created a fictional name; the dog's name is not actually Lady.)What's my secret? If you must know, I always keep a copy of Dashboard Confessional's The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most in my car. And I sing along. Loudly. To every word. A lot.There, I said it.The mother of all emo albums, Places would be defensible work if it weren't for lead singer Chris Carrabba's gushing saccharine hypersensitive confessions that are calculated to captivate the budding heart of every 14-year-old girl. I am a 32-year-old man. I should not be singing along to the soundtrack for those struggling with the awkwardness of training bras. But how can any person with a heart refuse that album, which is more addictive than chocolate-flavored crack?I thought the honesty of this confession -- mirroring Dashboard's typical emotional nakedness -- would give me a sense of catharsis. But I feel like I am sharing the titles of a sick pornography collection with my pastor and mother-in-law. Come to think of it, Carrabba and I are almost the same age. But that doesn't remedy the discomfort of sharing that my Places disc and I have been patiently waiting -- for half a decade -- for a proper Dashboard follow-up that feeds my addiction with new material. My car stereo is so nauseated from spinning Places that it once projectile vomited one of my multiple copies. Dashboard's follow-up album in 2003, A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar, was a clear statement that the band wanted to shed their emo image and move toward more arena rock anthems. But the booming electric guitar of that album drowned out any raw emotion that might've been audible in an acoustic version. Places and A Mark dated briefly, but broke up before Mark got to first base.At last, Dashboard has birthed a new album that is a worthy soulmate to Places: Dusk and Summer. The album still finds Carrabba experimenting with a harder-edged rock style, but producer Don Gilmore has managed to let Carrabba's honesty float above the reverb."Stolen," the fourth track on Dusk and Summer, exemplifies what is both sickening and stupefying about Dashboard. The song's lyrics sound like a parody of a bad poem scribbled in the diary of a temp worker hired by Hallmark. Indeed, the chorus is a repetition of an unoriginal and simple line: "You have stolen my heart." Yet, my cynicism melts away when I become convinced that Carrabba is hurting while singing it. Listening to the song, I simultaneously search my own catalogue of pain, wishing that I could do something to ease his heartache, and now I have missed my freeway exit ramp and I will be late to work. As it turns out, "Stolen" is only one of several standout sing-along anthems. Another testament to Dashboard's hypnotic powers is the gorgeous piano ballad, "So Long, So Long." The song includes guest vocals by Adam Duritz of the incorrigible Counting Crows, which frequently contends for the title of Worst Band in the Universe. But when Carrabba risks a loss of oxygen to hit that high B flat note and announce to everyone that he's gone, I forgive his trespasses and forget everything but his dramatic departure.God forbid that I admit to feeling a deep sense of sorrow even when reading the album credits, which note that the songs are published by "Hey, did she ask about me? Music". What other band can make a person choke up in the legal fine print of the liner notes?By the end of Dusk and Summer -- should I call it the Autumn Evening of the CD? -- Dashboard makes clear that is not attempting to broaden its base, to move towards an edgier sound, or to find a way to encroach upon Slipknot's fan base. The band simply embraces the sound that befits Carrabba's unfiltered lyrics.Thankfully, the closer -- "Heaven Here" -- helps sober me up. Oh sure, the finale wears its heart on its sleeve and transports me on a rapturous emotional journey like the best of them. But with lyrics like "Heaven is here / And tonight / We are the only ones who feel it," I remember that Chris Carrabba is that singer-songwriter guy who came in last place at the Battle of the Bands but ended up walking away with all the cute girls.But despite the jealousy and dirty guilt triggered by Dashboard's oozing emotions and sensitive-guy modus operandi, I am grateful for this album. It feeds my darkest addiction. P.S. Don't tell anyone, but even after multiple listens, I continue to bask in the glow of love emanating from my two Dashboard CDs who have found, in each other, companions worthy of a lifetime, and now, yet again, I have missed my exit.

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

Best Albums of 2005

Junichi Semitsu — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 01:45:23 EST

It's that time of year again: we're making our lists and checking it twice.I'll start off by saying 2005 was a fairly bad year for hip hop and most electronic music. This fact is outweighed, however, by this year's batch of albums that contain a level of genre-bending innovation and creativity that further render mainstream radio playlists irrelevant. Thanks to Sirius Satellite Radio and some excellent audioblogs, I've pursued a lot of artists/songs previously unknown to me, many of whom are on independent labels. I know it's been an interesting year when Weezer, The Chemical Brothers, Public Enemy, Daft Punk, Four Tet, Madonna, and Franz Ferdinand release new albums and none of them crack my top 20.Without further delay, here's my Top 20 ...1. Plans - Death Cab for Cutie * Dude, I know this ain't cool ... especially since this is Death Cab's first major label record deal, after several excellent albums on an indie label. I can hear the hipsters screaming "sell-outs!" with every ounce of their vegan marijuana breath. But I'd be fronting if I pretended that any other CD had a greater impact or more frequent rotations on my playlist. Plus, this isn't exactly some Neptunes-produced TRL-friendly album; my favorite song, "What Sarah Said," is a ballad about watching someone die in the hospital. With the solo acoustic "I Will Follow You Into The Dark," Ben Gibbard proves that he doesn't need his band or Postal Service producer Jimmy Tamborello to mesmerize an audience. Beautiful, every track. 2. Multiply - Jamie Lidell * As embarassed as I may be a few years from now when Jamie Lidell turns out to be the Jamiroquai of 2005, I'm not hesitant, at the moment, to declare Multiply one of my favorite funk/soul albums. Lidell seems to channel Otis Redding, D'Angelo, James Brown, and every artist on the Stax label, underscored with the occasional electronic blips and ProTools beat-chopping that reminds the listener that the record was not actually made in 1967. Unfortunately, the best Lidell song of 2005 is the Gonzalez-remix of "Multiply," which ain't on the album. 3. Arular - M.I.A. * Is there anything left to say about Sri Lankan refugee Maya Arulpragasam (a.k.a. Missing In Action) that hasn't already been ejaculated from fawning critics worldwide who diagnosed her with hip-atitis? I do have this to say, however: what kind of musical industry nominates Sugarland, Keane, Ciara, and Fall Out Boy for the "Best New Artist" Grammy and leaves out M.I.A.? Interestingly, a gaggle of folks seem to have turned on her now that she's everyone else's favorite and after she lent "Galang" to a Honda commercial. But "Bucky Done Gone" and "10 $" still sound like the freshest thing this side of the millennium. 4. Be - Common * We've already argued this one to death, haven't we? I was ambivalent at first. But after a few months, I can say that this is one of the few hip hop albums this year that I can listen to in its entirety without wanting to skip tracks. The excellent videos for "Go," "Testify" (featuring future Oscar-winner Taraji P. Henson), and "The Corner" also help to seal the deal. 5. Vertically Challenged - Lady Sovereign * The grime wave just spit out a tsunami. This album may be just an EP, but Lady Sovereign's American mini-debut is as addictive as Cheetos-flavored OxyContin laced in crack. With only a few tracks, this UK MC flips every script she can get her 19-year-old hands on. Combining her wit with dirty beats, sass with drum & bass, and charisma with silly lyrics, Ms. "EssOhhVee" beats Mike Skinner and Dizzee Rascal to the throne of British hip hop, in my humble opinion. Apparently, Jay-Z agrees and Timbaland/Missy are planning to collab. Here's to 2006! 6. Speak for Yourself - Imogen Heap * My favorite vocalist of this decade is Imogen Heap. Originally, I credited the perfection of Frou Frou's "Details" album (on which Imogen does vocals) to producer Guy Sigsworth. But this album makes clear that her voice, which is a fine instrument in every sense of the word, deserved as much credit. One of my favorite songs of 2005 is "Hide and Seek," which is an a cappella track from this album. Who else can get away with an a cappella lead single? Neither Alanis nor Tracy Chapman nor Tori Amos even thought about that. 7. Late Registration - Kanye West * Let's recap all the things we've learned from this album: the government administers AIDS, conflict diamond manufacturers have a symbiotic relationship with drug dealers, Ronald Reagan cooked up heroin to stop the Black Panthers, and Kanye's grandmother would not be ill had she been a professional basketball player. While Ye may not be as eloquent as KRS-One or as militant as early-90s Ice Cube, he has the mother of all monster 'nads. With the chutzpah to say things very few MCs dare touch, Mr. West swings a set of balls that match the width of his head and the weight of his production skills. Yes, his flow is mediocre, but with lines like "The doors was closed / I felt like Bad Boy's street team: I couldn't work the LOX," this album would have been on my top 10 list, even if Rick Astley laid down the beats. 8. Illinois - Sufjan Stevens * If any musical professor snob tries to argue that "rock and roll" can never be as inventive and complex as classical music, this is Exhibit A in my counterpoint. Sufjan Stevens is a one-man orchestra who plays banjo, piano, glockenspiel, harpsichord, a bunch of woodwind and brass instruments, and sings over complex interlude-filled musical structures that have time signatures that would make any metronome blow up from confusion. Of course, the classical music snob will probably recoil when he hears a gorgeous epic folk ballad about serial rapist/killer John Wayne Gacy Jr. But the obvious Illinois references littered throughout the CD provide for a fun "Where's Waldo?"-like audio experience, except when he's singing about un-fun subjects like bone cancer. By the way, given this is the second of Sufjan's ambitious goal to do a travelogue album of all 50 states (he started with Michigan), I hope I live to see the California box set and the Delaware CD-single. 9. The Cookbook - Missy Elliott * Just because Missy says that "I'm in the studio droppin hits from my booty hole" does not mean this album is full of stinkers, like some critics suggest. Yes, she is officially the 3,294,102nd person to sample "Apache," but the marching band rendition of it at the end of "We Run It" is sick. The drumline also makes an appearance in "Bad Man" with Vybez Cartel and M.I.A., which could have been a breakout second single had Atlantic not seemingly ceased promotion after "Lose Control." Yes, there are skippable slow jams, but this is a great party disc. Without Timbo handling all the production, this album may not be as musically inventive as her others, but her confidence and playfulness has crested. Did I mention that she rhymes "booty hole" with Coolio? 10. Ruby Blue - Roisin Murphy * Moloko's lead singer solo debut has yet to make it on this side of the pond, which is America's loss (unless they download it from iTunes). Sounding like nothing else, this is the ultimate genre-bender: the songs range from cocktail torch to r&b sizzlers to folk cabaret to electro-house seizures that sound like Basement Jaxx, Nellee Hooper, and Four Tet had a ménage � trois in the studio. Producer Matthew Herbert gets credit for making the kind of music/noise you hear in a SF bar that compels you to ask the bartender what CD is playing. Download the title track"Ruby Blue," "Dear Diary," and "Night of the Dancing Flame" now and thank me later. 11. Extraordinary Machine (the Jon Brion version) - Fiona Apple * In case your head has been lodged up your distal orifice all year, you should know that Fiona abandoned her original version of this album with original producer Jon Brion (a primarily non-hip-hop producer who recently helped to produce Kanye's latest album) to collaborate with Mike Elizondo (a primarily-hop hop producer most famous for working alongside Dr. Dre and Eminem). The official released album isn't bad, but I prefer the instrumental arrangements on the unreleased bootleg version, especially on the tracks "Not About Love," "Red Red Red," and "Used to Love Him." Fiona's sultry voice and thick chords deserve the more colorful instrumentation. Either way, both albums open with the same Jon Brion-produced "Extraordinary Machine," which is the best opening number to a musical that isn't from a musical. 12. Demon Days - Gorillaz * I am a fan of Dan the Automator, the producer behind the Gorillaz' debut album, but his absence here on this sophomore follow-up is not missed at all. Danger Mouse does a stupendous job on the boards, cornering the market on cartoon-based productions. Occasionally, the music sounds derivative: "Dirty Harry" sounds like a remix of Fat Joe's "What's Luv" and "Feels Good, Inc." sounds like a mashup with Cake's "Never There." Furthermore, the lyrics are entirely incoherent: why is Damon Albarn singing about windmills while De La Soul is spitting verses about chocolate attacks and ass cracks? I have no idea, but Danger Mouse's eclectic and unpredictable production makes this the unusual encore of a concept album that actually is an upgrade. Too bad the Gorillaz didn't score King Kong. 13. Digital Ash in a Digital Urn / I'm Wide Awake It's Morning - Bright Eyes * I know, I know. These are two separate albums. But you take the best from both and you have yourself one mighty fine record. "Arc of Time" from Digital Ash is the stand-out track that rises above all others like a resurrection, which, coincidentally, is what that song is about. (I think.) Conor Oberst's uber-emo vocals usually force me to take him in small doses, but on these albums, his songwriting talent overpowers any emotive melodrama that otherwise might sap my energy. 14. Anniemal - Annie * I bought this album because of all the hype about her a year ago. Since then, all the critics seem to have moved on. But I keep listening to this, because I'm un-cool like that and, besides, who doesn't have room on their mixtapes for some quality dance-pop-rock. The themes in her album don't distinguish this Norwegian starlet from American teeny-boppers, but the production values - straight from the extended club mixes of the mid-1980s - keep me soaking up adolescent zingers like "u think u r chocolate when u r chewing gum." 15. Guero - Beck * Let's all admit a few things: (1) Beck is easily the coolest Scientologist; (2) we constantly reward his unpredictable chameleon tendencies, given his traversing from hip hop joke songs to acoustic folk tales; (3) but we want nothing more than the Beck of Odelay. This album isn't as good as Odelay (or Midnite Vultures), but the Dust Brothers bring back that laid-back old-school fusion collage vibe that sold me on Beck a decade ago. Is there any album that is more quintessential L.A.? Plus, what other CD would give a shout out to Yanni? 16. Mouse and the Mask - Danger Doom * In Talib Kweli's guest verse, he says "cartoons be realer than reality TV," which is a fitting caption for a year in which two "cartoon" acts put out some of the most inventive hip hop. Can anything go wrong when MF Doom, Danger Mouse, Adult Swim cartoon characters, and Ghostface all collaborate? The opening track rhymes "poop on eBay" with "shoot the DJ" -- and it's all good from there. 17. Takk ... - Sigur Ros * Iceland's second most famous artist (after Bjork, of course) keep delivering their familiar atmospheric crescendos and "Hopelandish" gibberish. (Apparently, this may actually be the first one in Icelandic; I, unfortunately, couldn't say for sure.) This album may not be as stellar as their first two, but it continues their streak of releasing celestial songs that are inventive and epic on the level of Aaron Copland. 18. United State of Atlanta - Ying Yang Twins * What didn't surprise me was the predictable batch of indefensible songs that depend on violent sexual imagery ("beat the p@$$y up," anyone?) that make 2 Live Crew sound like the Mormon Tabernacle. What did surprise me, however, is how packed this album is with popalicious beats and compelling lyrics. "Live Again," an empathetic narrative about a stripper, and "23 Hr. Lock Down," a supportive call for Pimp C to be freed from prison, give this album a soul and sense of humanity. And between the undeniable "Wait (The Whisper Song)" and my favorite single "Shake," I can't deny how often I've bounced my head to this album. 19. Gimme Fiction - Spoon * Sure, their minimalism earns comparison to White Stripes and their eclectic noise are reminiscent of Wilco. But this album is one of those singular rock albums that manage to craft pop gems that surprisingly bring me back for seconds. "The Beast and Dragon, Adored" makes me want to buy a reverb for my piano. "I Turn My Camera On" would leave Beck and Pharrell with consolation prizes in a falsetto contest. And will somebody please remix "Was It You?" Let's make this a song for the clubs, too. 20. Colour The Small One - Sia * Zero 7's one-time Australian/British lead singer (and - trivia alert! - the daughter of one of Men at Work's band members) put out this solo acoustic trip-hop folk album that manages to package pensive gems fueled by a major tragedy; Sia's lover was apparently killed in a car accident. "The Bully," co-written with Beck, and "Don't Bring Me Down" highlight her ability to take on Dido in a vocal wrestling match. While some of the tracks have yet to grow on me, the stand-out track - "Breathe Me" - is the best five minutes of music in 2005. It is a gorgeous, intense, and haunting ballad that rises to the level of being sacred.

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

Everything I Need To Know About Men And Women, I Learned From The Hit Songs Of 2005

Junichi Semitsu — Tue, 20 Dec 2005 21:38:06 EST

Do not let this woman borrow your car2005 was a watershed year with regard to how pop lyrics have enlightened us about the differences between men and women. Here below are my highlights.TOP 10 THINGS I LEARNED ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN FROM SONGS OF 2005 When a man kisses a woman multiple times, he is actually in love with the food on her lips. (Fiona Apple, "Parting Gift") A man should not trust a psychic who tells him that "the one" for him has a posterior similar to Serena Williams because this woman will eventually require him to pay for an evening at Showbiz Pizza for her four children, one of whom was fathered by Busta Rhymes, and possibly another by Usher Raymond. (Kanye West, "Gold Digger") A woman will take off her pantyhose if the DJ plays Bon Jovi(Joe Nichols, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off") If a man consistently stays hard, women will refer to him as 'Jolly Rancher.'(D4L, "Laffy Taffy") Women count on Jesus to take the wheel. (Carrie Underwood, "Jesus, Take The Wheel") Conversation and Hennessy can help a man get more ass than a toilet seat. (Nate Dogg, "Shake That") A woman is ready to attack another woman once the pom-poms have been placed on the ground.(Gwen Stefani, "Hollaback Girl")If a woman climbs on top of a man and rides him as if she were in the rodeo, he will make a sound that she has never before heard. (50 Cent, "Candy Shop") Women beg to pull down their underwear once they see a man working his jelly. (Mike Jones, "Back Then") It is possible for a man on drugs to share a long-lasting moment with a beautiful woman on a subway, even if she is with another man. (James Blunt, "You're Beautiful")

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

McDonald's: You Got Billions & Billions Served

Junichi Semitsu — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 12:36:28 EDT

What'chu talkin' about, Ronald? The latest Golden Arches news to shower on you: McDiversity: Black Enterprise magazine just honored McDonald's as one of the "Best Companies for Diversity in America." Is that a good thing? Isn't this equivalent to HUD congratulating Sing Sing prison for having the most racially diverse housing unit in the country? Given that the supermajority of McJobs in the fast food industry are unskilled, offer minimum wage pay, have frequent turnover, lack benefits, and are void of vertical mobility, I'd say McDonald's should only be praised when their reliance on employees of color plummets.. McPhat Farm: In an idea as ill-fated as the McDLT, McDonald's has approached FUBU, Rocawear, Russell Simmons, P. Diddy, and Tommy Hilfiger, among others, to design a new "hip" and "urban" uniform for their employees. Can you imagine a company called "For Us-By Us" designing threads for a company whose motto is "Billions and Billions Served"? I'm not lovin' it. I swear if Chuck D starts repping Mickey D's, I will drown myself in a vat of nugget grease. Hey, McMarketing team: if you had any sense, you would have chosen Wu-Wear. Because when you flip the W upside down ... Bam! It's the golden arches! McWord! McAsians: Just in case you thought they were only targeting the black community, let me remind you that McDonald's owns the domain to http://www.i-am-asian.com/. While providing a list of "what holidays Asian and Pacific Islander Americans celebrate," this harebrained site bombards you with images like this: Here's the implied caption for the above photo: "When I get upset at my Chinese New Year parade lion dance partner, Tang, for getting up in my grill and trying to enter my dragon, I like to wash down my anger with a Filet-O-Fish, the seafood dish of choice for assimilated Asian Americans like myself."On the main page, there is a slide show of various Asian Americans chowing down Happy Meals (what, no chopsticks?). But in a peculiar twist, the last photo in the montage features a dog with an "I am Asian" shirt. Aside from a potential shout-out to the Shitzu or the Pekingese, what is the message there? FYI, McDonald's: We're not dogs, although we prefer to eat them over your foul hot mustard sauce.Does anybody believe they care about Asian Pacific American heritage? What a Kroc of sh!t. Bringing the McBeef: McDonald's just sent $254,773.19 to a Hindu Heritage Endowment fund. But before you conclude that McDonald's makes generous donations to worthy causes, you should know that this payment was part of the court-ordered $10 million settlement after McDonald's was caught cooking their "vegetarian" french fries with beef tallow. McRobbery: Finally, last week, a masked man armed with a pistol robbed a South Carolina McDonald's and forced employees into a walk-in freezer before escaping with significant assets. I'm not saying I know who did it, but I'm guessing the suspect looks something like this: Robble Robble! Edited: LH

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

War of the Worlds: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD REICH

Junichi Semitsu — Thu, 30 Jun 2005 06:30:01 EDT

"So Tom, exactly how young do you like your women?"Spoiler alert!I knew that War of the Worlds would play like a mash-up of Spielberg movies. Perhaps he'd remix the hunt for Cruise in Minority Report with the reversed humanity of robots in AI over the constant drumbeat of terrified prey in Jurassic Park.Little was I prepared last night to be slapped with hints of three entirely different Spielberg movies: Schindler's List and Saving Private Ryan and Amistad. No joke.Spielberg is an expert in showcasing evil. Whether it be snakes in Indiana Jones or government alien-nappers in E.T., he knows how to contrast the tension of the unknown with the thrill of close calls.But when people were mauled by a T. Rex in Jurassic Park, that was just popcorn-chomping fun. Given that these aliens are even more fantastical and dehumanized than the dinosaurs, he could have let the audience have the same type of fun.Instead, Spielberg manages to place the horror of human decimation here on the same plane as that in Schindler's List. The suspense from the flaming train in this film was eerily similar to the train that ominously pulls into Auschwitz.That's because Spielberg's target here isn't our fantastical fears (aliens, Captain Hook) as much as our current fears. When Tom Cruise is covered with the ashes of vaporized humans and walls are plastered with pictures of missing people, the allusion to 9/11 is devoid of subtlety. The soldiers, the tanks, and the naive son who wants to fight the enemy remind us of the pointless chaos of our current war. The hundreds forced to abandon their home are reminiscent of refugees fleeing Rwanda. The people caught in the web of the alien's stomach look no different than victims of human trafficking.Call me cuckoo, but Dakota Fanning -- who delivers a phenomenal child-acting performances -- does ask, in the beginning of the film, if they're fleeing from "the terrorists."Spielberg's clearly got terrorism on his mind. After all, while filming this, he was in pre-production for his next movie about the assassination of Israeli athletes during the 1972 Munich Olympics (which will certainly push our current anti-Arab, anti-Palestinian sentiment to even more extremes).(To his credit, the film includes a line that is a subtle swipe against our current occupation of Iraq.)This is not to suggest that I was taking the movie too seriously or that I was having a miserable time. I had fun. But I felt guilty for having fun, as if I were laughing at Challenger explosion jokes.Ultimately, I blame Spielberg for my unease -- his allusions to current tragedies felt cheap, at best. But make no mistake about it: this movie is wildly entertaining. The alien invasion seems so real that I felt forced to tremble in the shoes of a man escaping the apocalypse. The fact that the evil comes in the form of ALF-driven tripods, as opposed to, say, North Koreans seems beside the point. Having said that, the masterful cinematography and CGI effects were nearly cancelled out by the painfully disappointing conclusion. I hate those schmaltzy, unrealistic happy endings ubiquitous in nearly every Spielberg film.Spielberg does evil so well that he needs to do just one film where evil prevails.

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

Bye Bye Birdie Kim

Junichi Semitsu — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 22:28:34 EDT

Lil' Birdie Kim In a momentous occasion for Asians in professional sports, South Korean Birdie Kim just won the U.S. Women's Open.However, in a low moment for Asians in professional sports, Ms. Kim -- formerly known as Ju-Yun Kim -- revealed in a post-tournament interview that she felt compelled to change her first name to Birdie so that others could distinguish her from the five other Korean players with the last name Kim.Kim said: "Nobody can remember our first names ... I want to make a special name in golf."I understand that golf is the mother of all racist sports, but it seems exceptionally sad, if true, that 'western' golfers and golf fans are unable to remember her name unless it is synonymous with the extension of one's middle finger.Of course, I'm disappointed with Birdie for abandoning her beautiful Korean first name.Birdie, if you're going to change your name to a 'Tiger'-like Anglo one, why not choose "Eagle" instead? Or "Albatross"? Have I impressed you with my knowledge of golf terminology?No matter, this sets a bad precedent for Asian-named professional athletes like myself.Oh wait, sorrry, I'm not Asian.But as for the remaining Asian sports superstars, surely Ichiro Suzuki feels pressure now to change his name to Four-Bagger Suzuki in order to distinguish himself from all the motorcycles named Suzuki.Hideo Nomo will then follow suit and crown himself No-Hitter Nomo, which is ironic since Hideo is a Japanese word meaning "bases loaded."Like dominoes, pioneer linebacker Dat Nguyen will change his name to Hail Mary Nguyen, leading to tennis trailblazer Ai Sugiyama transforming herself into Topspin Sugiyama.And sweet Jesus of Nazareth or Buddha on a popsicle stick ... what if Yao Ming changes his name to Slam Dunk Ming?Or worse, Long Dunk Ming?Keep it real, Asian athletes. Keep it real.

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.

A REVIEW OF RIZE

Junichi Semitsu — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 22:16:11 EDT

While it's debatable whether Dave Chappelle has the best mouth in the biz, there's no doubt, in my humble opinion, that David LaChapelle has the best eye.Whether it's his photograph of Alicia Keys next to a flaming pink piano or his commercial of Hootie hawking the Whopper or his music video of J. Lo channeling Flashdance, the man knows how to use colors, flesh, and the surreal to capture attention. His touch is so distinct that it's easy to guess when he's the auteur behind the lens.So naturally, I was looking forward to Rize, his debut film and his new documentary on the culture of "krumping" and "clowning," two related forms of dancing that rose from the ashes of the 1992 LA riots.How to describe it? Spawned by Tommy the Clown, this amazing artform reminds me of the dancing I once did at a party when the DJ played 2 Live Crew's "Hoochie Mama" after I grundlechugged my seventh Mountain Dew/Jolt cocktail without taking my anti-seizure medication ... during an earthquake.The frenetic convulsions are so fast that the film begins with a disclaimer that none of the footage was sped up. In the event you haven't seen it, watch this.Quite honestly, when I was hit with this cinematic barrage of addictive and adrenaline-inducing movement, I wanted to get out of my movie theater seat and join them. But alas, I couldn't because I would have died ten seconds into my routine from nacho cramps and Milk Duds vomit.The strange thing about Rize is that there are only a few moments -- a blue sky here, a pink wall there -- reminiscent of LaChapelle's vivid work. This documentary is simply the reflection of a man so fascinated with a subculture that he believed it would speak for itself. Thus, there's no narration, no fancy camera tricks, and no flaming pianos.The people documented in this movie are so captivating that I'm sure I still would have enjoyed watching them even if Stevie Wonder filmed it guerilla-style on his cell phone camera. I could just view unedited footage of Miss Prissy and the little kids all day, and apparently, so can LaChapelle. But thankfully, his film presents a loose narrative complete with punchlines, drama, climactic showdowns, tragedy, and victory.Even if you hate dancing or documentaries or movies, the slamming soundtrack is worth the $10 price of admission. Dizzee Rascal's "Fix Up, Look Sharp" never sounded so good. I even shed a tear when Alice Ridley sang "Amazing Grace."Given that LaChapelle discovered these dancers while filming the Christina Aguilera video "Dirrty," I was worried this movie was going to exploit the South Central community. But, as of yet, it largely avoids this pitfall.I do have a few minor complaints with the film, however.For starters, the preachy messages in the film- "sky's the limit," "inner city kids need an outlet to express themselves," "dancing is positive, harmless fun" - get shoved down your throat about 57 too many times. Some of the proselytizing even comes in the form of literal preaching, with LaChapelle linking krumping with the black church.On a similar note, I was uncomfortable with a subtle insinuation - common in Hollywood portrayals of 'urban life'- that were it not from krumping [or insert other extracurricular activity], these black inner city youth would be turning to a life of gangs and crime.Also, in one dance sequence, footage of the dancers is interspersed with Leni Riefenstahl's 1970s archival footage of dancing by the Nuba tribe. What is the point of this? Other than to say, hey look -- older generations of African people liked to paint their faces and dance too!On a technical note, why don't we ever get to hear the original music they were dancing to? Given that the soundtrack includes 2Pac songs, were the legal clearances for the original music that expensive or difficult? At times, the dubbed music seems a tad off from the dancers, but of course, it's hard to say. This left me wondering what the boombox was originally playing and what noises the crowds made. Did everyone stare in silence or scream as if at a step show? What if the posses were dancing to Michael Bolton? I might be hating Krumpers right now.On balance, however, Rize is a tremendous documentary and easily the start of something big.Go watch it now before your grandkids have to explain it to you.

Junichi P. Semitsu is currently the exclusive blogger for the Dixie Chicks. You can read about his journeys at their website.