http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Sat, 15 Nov 2003 12:28:02 EST http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding. Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2003/11/15/122802.php J.P. Carter(Note: If you haven’t done so already, you might want to read Part 1)(Pgs. 39-49)Nancy gives birth to Ron, Jr. “I have a son,” says Ronnie, forgetting that he already has a son named Michael.GE thinks Reagan’s speeches are getting too extreme. He’s told that he is starting to sound like a “right-wing reactionary nut and that “Democrats buy GE products too, so lay off the Commie-thing.” (Note for the kids: In the 1950s Democrats were commie loving toaster buyers.)Patti the Brat almost gets slapped by Nancy. Instead, Nancy just screams. Ronnie quits GE to go back to making monkey movies. His agent won’t take his call. He’s been black-listed, or is that red-listed, by the commie-loving, light bulb-using, Hollywood Democrats.1963: Kennedy’s funeral is shown on TV. Ron, Jr. sees Jon, Jr. salute the coffin and little Ron salutes too. “Don’t do that,” says Nancy. (Saluting dead democrats will not be tolerated in her house.)Michael Reagan, age 18, returns home. “So this is it,” says Mikey, “I sleep on the sofa like a dog?” (Um, no Michael, the dog has his own bed.) Michael the Ungrateful.Patti the Brat, age 11, discovers she has another brother and a sister, Maureen. Half-sister, Nancy tells her. Patti the Brat leads a sheltered life. Ron, Jr. finds a copy of Playboy in Michael’s backpack. Michael the Ungrateful Perv. Reagan is giving a speech for Goldwater. He’s interrupted by a voter registrar who asks if he’s a Republican yet. When he says no she signs him up right there. Republicans are impatient.A Republican cabal decides to run Reagan for governor. Since he’s already a monkey-movie star it will be cheaper, they decide. (Pgs. 50-61)Year: 1964 -- Some guy named Holmes Tuttle says, “Nancy , we want to put your husband in the Governor’s seat, and keep him there for 8 years. Then we’re going to put him in the Presidency for another 8 years. By the time he’s done, Communism will be dead, the Republican Party reunited, and “conservative” won’t be a dirty word anymore.” Holmes Tuttle is a prophet. Tuttle: “Sure, it’s nice being the wife of a movie star. But think what it would be like to be the Governor of California. (pause) First lady of California – sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? There you’ll be, in the Governor’s mansion – “ Maria: “It’s a dump.” Tuttle: “Then we’ll get you someplace nicer, somewhere in Sacramento— Maria: I hate Sacramento(Oops, I typed Maria when I should have typed Nancy. That’s a future movie.)Patti the Brat screams and kicks the refrigerator. Nancy screams. Then takes a Valium. Patti the Brat opens Nancy’s medicine cabinet. It’s full of prescription drugs. She takes down a bottle and steals some pills. Just say no, Patti, just say no. Michael the Ungrateful got in a fight. Nancy screams at him. Tells him to go back to his mother and father…whoever they were. (Note: Michael was adopted.) Nancy needs another Valium. Nancy tells Ronnie she screamed at the kids. She says she’s a monster. Your not a monster, he says, calling her Nancy-pants again. (Nancy-pants is not a very scary name for a monster.)The soon to be divorced Maureen, age 24, shows up. (I know, I’m having trouble keeping up with all these dang Reagan kids too.)Patti whispers to Ron that Nancy is getting rid of her and Mike and that Ron, Jr. is next. Little Ron’s eyes grow big. (Nancy-pants is gonna get ya boy!)Nancy-Pants tells Maureen she’ll have to sleep on the floor. Maureen shrugs. She tells Maureen the soon to be divorcee to stay out of her dad’s campaign. Nancy notices a bruise on Maureen’s shoulder. Maureen the Passive.Reagan’s opponent Gov. Pat Brown is in a commercial, talking to a classroom of kids: “I’m running against an actor, and you know who shot Lincoln, don’t you?” (No, Governor, they don’t. They went to school in California.)Student protestors chant, “REAGANS’ A FASCIST!” They throw an orange at him and he catches it. (Bonzo used to throw fruit also, so he’s used to it.) “This thing isn’t ripe and neither are you,” he tells them. (They are stunned into silence, asking themselves, “What they hell does that mean?”)Patti the Brat, age 14, is at boarding school when she hears her dad has been elected governor. “We’re all screwed,” she says. “Hitler’s just been elected governor,” says another girl. Reagan is sworn in as governor at a midnight ceremony. Nancy-pant’s astrologer told her that the ceremony had to take place when Jupiter was rising, the same time as when Kings were crowned. Ben Welden gives Michael the Ungrateful a new special job. “From now on,” says Welden, “you’re on Mommy Watch.” (It isn’t specified, but it can be assumed that Welden is the Secretary in Charge of Monster Watching for California.) Video10152@blogcritics.org Sat, 15 Nov 2003 12:28:02 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2003/11/14/112929.php J.P. CarterInt. Reagan Bedroom -- White House Mike Deaver I got a call from John Tower…He wants to talk to you, Mr. President…Reagan is still staring into the tv. It’s a cowboy movie. Nancy It’s okay, Mike. Go on. Deaver turns to Nancy, lowers his voiceDeaver (in a whisper) They’re beginning to talk about impeachment. She begins to tremble. Nancy They’ll never impeach him. They won’t have the votes for it in the Senate. To spare you the trouble, I’ll summarize the rest of the scene:Deaver tells Reagan he needs an attorney. (The White House counsel apparantly had the term off). Reagan calls Ollie North a bastard and a “lying son of a gun.” The President has some mouth on him. Nancy says Ronnie will only talk to the people, not the press. The people love him. The press, not so much. Reagan says they got Nixon but they won’t get him. He’s not Nixon, he’s not. In what is soon to become an annoying habit, Ronnie refers to his wife as “Nancy-pants”. He tells her not to worry. She worries anyway. Nancy talks to Deaver in private. She says she needs to consult her psychic because they are “surrounded by traitors.” She catches a security guard watching a TV program about Oliver North. She immediately fires this traitor. (No explanation for why the White House is being protected by security guards.)Close up on Reagan's eyes. He looks confused. So are we. Confused about why we are watching this mess.Pages 6-26Year: 1949. Reagan walks into the MGM studios passing two actors in black-face working on a tap dance routine. He meets a producer, Leroy, who points out Nancy Davis. She’s “extremely conservative. Extremely Republican.” She’s also been mentioned in the Hollywood Reporter as a communist sympathizer. Leroy asks if Ronnie, since he’s the president of SAG can help. (SAG, by the way, is the Screen Actor’s Guild, a front for the CIA). Leroy suggests Ronnie take Nancy out to dinner. Nothing expensive but she needs to get out, she’s a wreck. Reagan groans but agrees since “she doesn’t look like a wreck.” Rowrr. Nancy goes on a date with Big R. Like all Hollywood actresses, she’s insecure about her looks. Ronnie takes Nancy out to an expensive restaurant anyway. That’s just the kind of guy he is. He had made a few phone calls ("J.Edgar? Hey, this is Ronnie over at SAG. I got a hottie here who may be a pinko, could you check her out?") and found she’s no commie. She had been confused with a commie who was also named Nancy Davis (there are 3 in L.A.). He suggests she change her name. She refuses. He admires her spunk.R. tells Nancy that the Commies are trying to take over the world, trying to take over -- he scans the room to to make sure no one is looking -- Hollywood. He suggests everybody should be scared stiff. Nancy agrees. Commies are scary. Ronnie says that Jane Wyman divorced him because he talks to damn much. Nancy says it’s okay, she likes listening. She’s a Cancer. Nancy’s at her parent’s house. Her dad says he doesn’t understand why she would want to live in Hollywood. It’s full of drug addicts and commies. “Was it this bad when you were there,” Nancy asks her mom. “Hell no,” says mom. “Back then it was just wall-to-wall with Jews and queers.” Nancy and Ronnie are on a date. He tells her that as a lifeguard he saved 77 lives in 7 years. He doesn’t say how many drowned.Several scenes later, they kiss. Hard. Desperate.Nancy implies that the hard desperate kiss got her knocked her up. Mom says not to worry. She knows a pre-Roe abortionist. Does good work, doesn’t kill anyone. Except, of course, for the baby.Ronnie tells Nancy that his dad was a drunk. Came home from the YMCA and found dad passed out on the lawn. Bad stuff. Nancy says she understands. “No, you don’t,” says Reagan, “you come from Chicago.”Nancy says, yeah uh-huh I did so have it bad. I cried myself to sleep for six years. Six years. Reagan is impressed. Tells Nancy he loves her and will do anything for her. He’ll crawl half-way across the country on his knees. On his knees! (Nancy wonders why he wouldn’t go all the way across the country.)Nancy, who is wearing a pregnancy pad for a movie role, tells him that she’s pregnant. Reagan says, “Come here mommy. You want to marry me.” That’s the kind of guy he is: a heart of gold and an Oedipal complex.Pages 27-39Years 1953-54: Warner Bros. fires Reagan. His chimp movies weren’t doing so hot. He’s offered a job working for a pre-Jack Welch GE. He’s depressed. But it’s a lot of money, he’s told. Well, yeah, but the government is going to take 94% of it in taxes. Damn commie pinko government.Patti, age 2, is a brat. Spills cereal on Nancy’s copy of “Dr. Spock’s Child Care.” Nancy screams.Scene: -- Scottsdale: Reagan sips highballs with Barry Goldwater. Goldwater puts down Hoffa and the unions. Reagan says the guv’mint is worse. Republicans killed the movie studios and stopped all the Reagan-monkey movies and the liberal Democrats are leading the country to socialism. “Isn’t that right Patti?” says Ron. Patti, age 2, agrees. Socialism bad, monkey movies good.Nancy’s mom, Edie, tells her that once Ronnie starts working for GE they can hire a nanny (presumably for that brat Patti). Apparently in ‘53, 6% of a paycheck goes a long way. Nancy wants to be a good mom. Edie scoffs. Kids come and go, she tells her daughter. (Edie, I should remind you, is a pro-choice anti-Semitic, homophobic Republican.)Ronnie tells a dumb “pony and manure” joke. Patti, age 5, is a brat. Nancy slaps the little heathen.Ben Welden, a Republican, tries to convert Ronnie. Reagan thinks about it. (“Um, aren’t Republicans are anti-monkey?”)Ronnie tells a dumb “baby and poopy” joke.Nancy sits, drinking and smoking, with her friends. One mentions an astrologer. You think she could tell me whether I’m having a boy or a girl, asks Nancy. “You’re pregnant again?” her friend asks. Yep, says Nancy, downing her martini.Ronnie says he doesn’t want to be a Republican. He wants to act. “Every producer in Hollywood is Democrat,” says Nancy forgetting that some are commies, “I guess if you want to be an actor you have to stay a Democrat.” Nancy wants to send Patti the Brat to boarding school. “It’s up to you Nancy-Pants,” says Ronnie, “you’re running the show.”To be continued… Video10114@blogcritics.org Fri, 14 Nov 2003 11:29:29 EST