http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Mon, 20 Feb 2006 13:41:42 EST http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding. Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/02/20/134142.php Drew FeinbergI don't want to come off as some paranoid talk show host or a Chris Eigeman character, but there's a new form of outsourcing that is quite disturbing, my friends. No, I'm not talking about those customer service jobs in Bangladesh or that time I tricked those guys into a painting a fence for me. I'm speaking, of course, about movie poster design, particularly in the horror/action genre. It seems like every day as I'm scoping out the movie sites I see promos from the big studios to the effect of "Design my Resident Evil poster and get some free Jujubes!" or "Create our Silent Hill poster and get some chump change and a pat on the head!"The latest contest (via Flick Addict) is for some movie called Stay Alive, where the concept is "You die in the game, you die for real." It really doesn't even seem so fictitious to me. It wouldn't surprise me one bit that if I keep dying before I make it to the next level of 25 to Life, I'm gonna keel over from screaming and throwing my Sunny D at the television.Anyhoo, design the poster for the flick, get a whopping 10 DVDs and a signed poster to boot. Yawn. Isn't that what they pay graphic designers for? Soon it'll be "Come up with the concept for our Rush Hour 3 movie, and win two free rentals from Blockbuster and as many Goobers as you can shove in your mouth in 60 seconds!"What's even more offensive than the fact that they're taking away jobs from people in the movie industry, to be honest, is that they never, ever pick my designs. The people who judge these things are more picky than those The New Yorker bastards. Well, the Stay Alive people won't be able to deny my creative genius on this one. Since I love you guys so much, I'll let you have a sneak peek at my entry right here.But please, tempting as it may be, don't steal it and pass it off as your own. That just wouldn't be right, and I've been doing mouth stretching exercises of late so I can cram the maximum amount of Goobers in my gob.Drew has been known as "that movie scripts guy" for over a decade, and he's been known as "the punk who really ought to update his blog more" for over two years now. And to his co-workers, he's pretty sure he's known as "that guy who takes too damn long making a decision in front of the snack machine." Video43880@blogcritics.org Mon, 20 Feb 2006 13:41:42 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/02/19/151057.php Drew FeinbergI know it's now the tail end of the weekend, but at long last I've got what you've been waiting for. No, not the results of last night's Powerball drawing...it's my thoughts on the new movies coming out this weekend expressed in haiku form. Remember, I use lower case for everything, because I bust my haiku all e.e. cummings-style, yo.That sound you hear is e.e. cummings turning over in his grave. Vehemently.date moviepity hannigan she never should have stuck that flute up her hoo hooeight belowcaucasian snow dogs you know, i wish feral dogs would eat paul walkerfreedomlandmoore blames bad black man methinks she's hiding something susan smith's fave flick!Drew has been running his script-o-rama, known as nirvana for people who dig free movie scripts, for over ten years now. He was hoping to get a gold watch to celebrate his decade anniversary, but since his boss is Drew...it didn't happen. Drew sure does have a love/hate relationship with that guy. Video43842@blogcritics.org Sun, 19 Feb 2006 15:10:57 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/02/10/165231.php Drew FeinbergSince I love you all like you were covered in Lindt chocolate truffles, here are my thoughts on the new movies coming out this weekend expressed in haiku form. Remember, I use lower case for everything, because I bust my haiku all ee cummings-style, yo.That sound you hear is e.e. cummings turning over in his grave. Vehemently.curious george dumbass george makes mess older white dude runs the show does this ring a bell?final destination 3 bad things come in threes some death should not be cheated time to pull the plugfirewall ford used to smile some now he's grumpy McAnal hang it up, indythe pink panther this remake features steve martin and beyonce my eighth ring of hellDrew has run his Script-O-Rama into the ground for years now, where he's still slinging out movie scripts and griping about all things cinematical on his blog. Video43463@blogcritics.org Fri, 10 Feb 2006 16:52:31 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/02/03/185856.php Drew FeinbergSince I love each and every one of you like you were my baby mama, here are my thoughts on the new movies coming out this weekend (all two of 'em) expressed in haiku form. Remember, I use lower case for everything, because I bust my haiku all ee cummings-style, yo.That sound you hear is e.e. cummings turning over in his grave. Violently.something newsanaa needs a man boy toy trumps race/class issues girl gets her swirl onwhen a stranger callsmeh - been there, done that jamster ads are scarier this rose ain't got jackAnd that, as they say, is that. You might want to just stay home, chuck some popcorn in the microwave, and rent Corpse Bride or Bubble. Drew has run his Script-O-Rama into the ground for years now, where he's currently running his annual "Predict The Oscars ... Poorly" Contest. A contest which you might as well enter since you have a much better chance of winning than your rigged office pool. Video43139@blogcritics.org Fri, 3 Feb 2006 18:58:56 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/01/30/180029.php Drew FeinbergIt's that glorious time of year once again, the time when I throw my Heineken bottle at the television whilst cursing/crying and questioning the existence of a higher power. Yup, Oscar nominations come out tomorrow. When I was a wee lad, I spent one Colorado winter up in a hotel where the chef confided to me that I have a certain "shine" about predicting the Academy Awards. Strangely, I never heard from him again after that. Anyway, I figure it's only right to share this gift with you, dear readers. Not only shall I tell you what's going to be nominated, I'm going to tell you what's going to win. And lest you think I'm joking...I'm the one who predicted that New Coke would fail. Yup, I really went out on a limb with that one, too. So when I do well, feel free to sit your grandchildren on your knee and impress them with tales of my power of second sight. And if I do poorly, then feel free to mock me mercilessly whilst poking me with a branch of some sort. And here we go:Best PictureBrokeback Mountain Crash Good Night And Good Luck Munich Walk The LineIf I had more brains, I would have predicted: Capote. If I had more cojones, I would have predicted:The Constant Gardener. If the Academy had taste, they would have nominated: Squid And The Whale. Should win: Munich. Please don't hurt me. Will win: Brokeback Mountain. May lightning strike me dead if I'm wrong.Best DirectorAng Lee - Brokeback Mountain George Clooney - Good Night And Good Luck Fernando Meirelles - Constant Gardener Paul Haggis - Crash Steven Spielberg - MunichIf I had more brains, I would have predicted: Bennett Miller (Capote). If I had more cojones, I would have predicted:David Cronenberg (History Of Violence). If the Academy had taste, they would have nominated: Chan-wook Park (Oldboy). Should win: Steven Spielberg. Will win: Ang Lee. Signed. Sealed. Delivered.Best Actor David Strathairn - Good Night and Good Luck Heath Ledger - Brokeback Mountain Joaquin Phoenix - Walk The Line Phillip Seymour Hoffman - Capote Russell Crowe - Cinderella ManIf I had more brains, I would have predicted: Terrence Howard (Hustle And Flow). If I had more cojones, I would have predicted: Jeff Daniels (Squid And The Whale). If the Academy had taste, they would have nominated: Eric Bana(Munich). Should win: Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Will win: Phillip Seymour Hoffman. And many years of Oscar wrongs will be righted.Best ActressCharlize Theron - North Country Felicity Huffman- Transamerica Judi Dench - Mrs. Henderson Presents Keira Knightley - Pride And Prejudice Reese Witherspoon- Walk The LineIf I had more brains, I would have predicted: Ziyi Zhang (Memoirs Of A Geisha). If I had more cojones, I would have predicted:Joan Allen (Upside Of Anger). If the Academy had taste, they would have nominated: Laura Linney (Squid And The Whale). Should win: Felicity Huffman. Will win: Reese Witherspoon. Elle freakin' Woods. Sheesh.Best Supporting Actor Bob Hoskins - Mrs. Henderson Presents George Clooney - Syriana Jake Gyllenhaal - Brokeback Mountain Matt Dillon - Crash Paul Giamatti - Cinderella ManIf I had more brains, I would have predicted: Terrence Howard (Crash). If I had more cojones, I would have predicted:Kevin Costner (Upside Of Anger). If the Academy had taste, they would have nominated: William Hurt (A History Of Violence). Should win: I'm indifferent. So shoot me. Will win: Paul Giamatti. And many years of Oscar wrongs will be righted.Best Supporting Actress Amy Adams - Junebug Catherine Keener - Capote Maria Bello - History Of Violence Michelle Williams - Brokeback Mountain Rachel Weisz - Constant GardenerIf I had more brains, I would have predicted: Scarlett Johansson (Match Point). If I had more cojones, I would have predicted:Gong Li (Memories Of A Geisha). If the Academy had taste, they would have nominated: Thandie Newton ( Crash). Should win: Maria Bello. Will win: Michelle Williams. Never underestimate the number of beards in the Academy.As for the other categories...I'm way too lazy to keep this up. Brokeback Mountain and Crash are guaranteed to win for their respective screenplay categories and that's all I've got, folks. To all you souls out there that predict things like Best Documentary, Short Subjects, I tip my hat to you. Either that, or I pity you. Perhaps a little of both. Drew's been slinging up movie scripts at Drew's Script-O-Rama for over ten years now and blogging for much less time mostly due to sloth. No, he doesn't have the Brokeback Mountain script yet. Yes, he is looking. And no, he doesn't always refer to himself in the third person. Video42952@blogcritics.org Mon, 30 Jan 2006 18:00:29 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/10/15/141910.php Drew FeinbergBack by popular demand, here are my thoughts on the movies coming out this weekend, expressed in haiku form. Remember, I use lower case for everything, because I bust my haiku all e.e. cummings-style, yo.That sound you hear is e.e. cummings turning over in his grave. Violently.dominooh, oh, domino too much crammed in tony sco' rather watch true ro' elizabethtowncameron crowe copies garden state lite with lightweights great soundtrack at least the fogclark kent vs. mist pg-13 is for punks gimme the real deal Drew originally posted this babble at Drew's Blog-O-Rama, where he can be usually be found kvetching about movies and pop culture. He's also spent almost ten years (!) providing free movie and television scripts online at Drew's Script-O-Rama. Because really, what the world was lacking was another whiny bastard who fancies himself a witster, and how could society truly function without free access to scripts like Donnie Darko or transcripts to movies like Garden State? Edited: PC Video37956@blogcritics.org Sat, 15 Oct 2005 14:19:10 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/09/30/214859.php Drew FeinbergHere's my thoughts on the movies coming out this weekend expressed in haiku form. I used to do movie haiku all the time, so I figured it was time for the whole phoenix from the ashes thing. And I use lower case for everything, because I bust my haiku all ee cummings-style, yo. That sound you hear is e.e. cummings turning over in his grave. Violently.capoteseymour hoffman shines as the writer whose voice sounds just like droopy doggreatest game ever playedgolfing gagfest shows shia vs. holes, part deux i'll rent caddyshackinto the bluejessie alba dons bikini for two hours guaranteed 10 millprize winner of defiance, ohiojulianne moore plays 50's housewife (gasp!) who pens annoying jinglesserenityfirefly returns cuz millions of geeks chanted serenity nowDrew originally posted this babble at Drew's Blog-O-Rama, where he can be usually be found kvetching about movies and pop culture. He's also spent almost ten years (!) providing free movie and television scripts online at Drew's Script-O-Rama. Because really, what the world was lacking was another whiny bastard who fancies himself a witster, and how could society truly function without free access to scripts like Armageddon or Varsity Blues transcripts? Video37185@blogcritics.org Fri, 30 Sep 2005 21:48:59 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/09/30/135019.php Drew FeinbergEverybody's got a theory about why people aren't going to the movies as much anymore. Well, not to toot my own horn, but all of them are dead wrong. I, dear reader, shall enlighten you as to why people are staying at home and avoiding the movie theater like the plague. Nope, it ain't the freaky sheepboys, the excruciating Jamster, the tired product, the ridiculous prices, or even the children.Who's to blame, then?The Weather Man.Every time I have gone to the movie theater for over a year I have seen the trailer to this godforsaken Nic Cage movie. And I go to the movies a lot. Through no desire of my own I can now recite the entire trailer from memory now; a lovely trick that has gotten me banned from the break room, public transportation, and even my own synagogue no longer welcomes me with open arms because I have a Rain Man-like tendency to spout things like "Why would people throw things at you? You just read the weather."The last time I went to the movies, by the time this l'homme du weather got winged with the chicken nuggets I went into convulsions and had to be dragged from the theater while loudly pleading with Nic Cage not to forget the tartar sauce this time around. He still forgot.That's why I don't go to the movies anymore. It's why you go to the movies less, even if you didn't know that was the reason. Sure, you think it's because you can't find a babysitter, or because having to choose between Just Like Heaven and The Skeleton Key ain't no choice at all. But it's The Weather Man trailer. Deep down in your brain, you know that Michael Caine is just waiting for you at the cineplex, dying to wax philosophically that doing the hardest thing and doing the right thing is often the same thing.Drew originally posted this babble at Drew's Blog-O-Rama, where he can be usually be found kvetching about movies and pop culture. He's also spent almost ten years (!) providing free movie and television scripts online at Drew's Script-O-Rama. Because really, what the world was lacking was another whiny bastard who fancies himself a witster, and how could society truly function without free access to scripts like Superman Lives or Mean Girls transcripts? Video37161@blogcritics.org Fri, 30 Sep 2005 13:50:19 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/09/02/165650.php Drew Feinberg I just finished watching the new Where The Truth Lies Trailer (Quicktime/boobies) and I officially have to disagree with Spike Lee's recent claim that there's no originality left in Hollywood. Personally, I can't recall a movie in recent history in which a dysfunctional Martin And Lewis-type duo (Colin Firth and Kevin Bacon) share their women (Rachel Blanchard and Alison Lohman), their murders, (possibly) and a dash of man love for good measure.If this movie were directed by say, Zalman King, I'd have no interest in the flick whatsoever outside of morbid curiosity if I happened to come across it on Cinemax at 3:45 a.m. But this puppy is directed by Atom Egoyan, who is pretty much the master these days of...umm..."untraditional" relationships and death, so I'll be all over this flick. Except of course, that it's rated NC-17 since the prudish MPAA is not such a big fan of Darcy/Cher-lite sandwiches with an extra order of Bacon. And since I live in the sticks, that means I'll be able to Netflick it sometime in the middle of 2006. Boy, if I were king, the first thing I'd do is get rid of the stigma that comes with NC-17 art flicks. And then I'd have Edward Burns held at Guantanamo eternally to spare the world the agony of any more of his films.It's good to be the king.Drew originally posted this babble at Drew's Blog-O-Rama, where he can be usually be found kvetching about movies and pop culture. He's also spent almost ten years (!) providing free movie and television scripts online at Drew's Script-O-Rama. Because really, what the world was lacking was another whiny bastard who fancies himself a witster, and how could society truly function without free access to scripts like Analyze That and Biker Mice From Mars? Video35364@blogcritics.org Fri, 2 Sep 2005 16:56:50 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/08/01/165604.php Drew FeinbergI just finished watching the Prize Winner Of Defiance, Ohio trailer (Real, Windows Media, Quicktime), and I was utterly shocked and taken by surprise that Julianne Moore was playing a 50's housewife.Also, I'm utterly shocked and taken by surprise every time I see a picture of Tara Reid drinking, the words "box office" and "slump" used together, news of unwanted sequels and/or remakes or excessive coverage of the Natalee Holloway case.In this upcoming flick, Julianne Moore plays a 50's housewife who becomes suicidal over her lack of cake-making skills learns her husband is gay so she hooks up with the Allstate guy has no concept of birth control so she wins various jingle contests in order to keep her family of ten children afloat but winds up leaving her whiny husband (Woody Harrelson) feeling emasculated.Yawn.When the biggest dramatic moment in a trailer consists of all-American mom Julianne Moore throwing what appears to be Cherry Jell-o at a frowny Woody Harrelson who responds by crying "You killed me!"-it's a pretty sure bet that it's not going to make Drew's Top 10 of the year.In defense of Julianne Moore, her non-50's housewife movies since 2000 have been excruciating. When she makes comedies, they turn out putrid a la Evolution and Laws Of Attraction. When she makes dramas, it's tepid fare like The Shipping News. Attempts at indie film wind up unwatchable as in World Traveler and Marie & Bruce. And she's single handedly killing the thriller genre with flicks like Hannibal and The Forgotten.It's heartbreaking, really, because I used to really like her. Heck, she knocked my socks off in four of my favorite movies of the 90's: Short Cuts, The Big Lebowski, Boogie Nights, and Magnolia. I used to vocally lament her lack of an Academy Award.But I think I have a solution. Both Altman and the Coens seem to be on hiatus from making the quality films they used to make. So what I'm thinking of doing is entering as many jingle contests as humanly possible and then using my winnings to bribe Julianne Moore into only making movies written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It may be a tough gig, but somebody's gotta take the ball and run with it.Drew originally posted this babble at Drew's Blog-O-Rama, where he can be usually be found kvetching about movies and pop culture. He's also spent almost ten years (!) providing free movie and television scripts online at Drew's Script-O-Rama. Because really, what the world was lacking was another whiny bastard who fancies himself a witster, and how could society truly function without free access to scripts like Analyze That and Biker Mice From Mars? Video33481@blogcritics.org Mon, 1 Aug 2005 16:56:04 EDT