Blogcritics Author: Douglas A. Waltz

Announcement: Short-content feeds

Phillip Winn — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT

Sunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. Two other factors are involved: full-content feeds have resulted in an unprecedented level of content theft, with BC content appearing on many websites, usually spam sites, without attribution or permission. This duplicate content causes a cascading set of problems, not the least of which is that search engines generally aren't favorable to duplicate content, and don't always guess correctly. Finally, our RSS advertising partner is strongly in favor of short-content feeds. We hope that you'll continue to subscribe to BC via RSS, and when an article grabs your eye, it's only a click away, still free on the BC website. Thank you for your understanding.

TV Review: Prison Break - "The Killing Box"

Douglas A. Waltz — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 18:21:05 EST

It’s the season finale of Prison Break, boys and girls, and if you think that it all gets wrapped up in a neat little bow, you obviously haven’t been paying attention. Hold on for the ride of your life!The Burrows/Scofield brothers are about to get gunned down by Agent Mahone when the border patrol shows up. This saves the brothers, but now they’re in it worse than ever. Agent Kellerman convinces the Asian gentleman who has been the bane of his existence for the entire second season that he is still a good soldier and has devised a plan to whack the brothers for good. Agent Mahone is along for the ride, but unbeknownst to Kellerman, orders have been given for Mahone to shoot Kellerman.Sara cuts her hair and keeps moving down the road. T-Bag at his slimiest seduces a postal worker and gets the address of the woman that put him behind bars. If you remember from an earlier episode, she had moved and T-Bag is still looking for some well deserved (in his mind) revenge. Anyway, the postal worker lady realizes who she is dealing with and T-bag whacks her.In the finale the trap is sprung and the brothers find themselves between Kellerman and Mahone. And then Kellerman finally shows a set of balls and shoots Mahone. Of course we all know that Mahone is a paranoid little weasel and is probably wearing some form of body armor so, he ain’t dead, but it was still cool to see.Oh, and Sucre made it to Mexico.As far as episodes go, this one seemed to drag a little in the middle. My wife has been telling me for weeks that she hoped that Kellerman would turn out to be a good guy. My household had to withstand the barrage of grins and looks that just said, "Told you so!" but that was okay. I have to credit the show with managing to keep a certain level of tension throughout the season and making me want to watch every week as opposed to just waiting for the DVD set to come out.Now, I have to bear the torture of waiting until January 22 for a new episode. I know that they do it because no one wants to compete with holiday programming, but it’s a loooooong time to wait. Hopefully, my wife won’t have her "I told you so!" grin on the entire time.Damn!

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

DVD Review: Bah Humduck - A Looney Tunes Christmas

Douglas A. Waltz — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 12:03:09 EST

Bah, Humduck: A Looney Tunes Christmas is a new flick with a sparse running time of 44 minutes that still manages to feel twice as long. The originality that we old-timers love about the Looney Tunes series is punted out the window with little, if any, fanfare.This video is just Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol with Looney Tunes characters, nothing more. Daffy plays Scrooge and owns a department store that he wants to keep open during the holidays. Porky Pig plays Bob Cratchit and he has some little girl playing his porcine daughter. She’s new.The whole thing is a mess. The animation is lousy, the voices are lousy, and the idea behind this particular atrocity is lousy. When will Warner Bros. realize that Mel Blanc is dead and gone and just give up? There are plenty of classic cartoons to release on DVD. Making new ones is pointless. This one looks like something that was done over the weekend with little, if any, forethought.Go watch A Charlie Brown Christmas or Scrooged if you’re looking for suitable holiday fare. Hell, find a copy of any other version of A Christmas Carol and it will be a vast improvement on what has been delivered here.Even my kids didn’t like it.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

TV Review: Prison Break - "Rendezvous"

Douglas A. Waltz — Tue, 7 Nov 2006 17:43:24 EST

Michael is finally able to connect with Sara from the clues he left her in the paper swans. Unfortunately, Agent Mahone has enough of a clue to track them down and Michael has figured out that Mahone is trying to kill them, not capture them.Lincoln and his son LJ are saved from the cops by a group of people in a mysterious black van who turn out to be people working with his father. Lincoln's father believes he has evidence that will exonerate both Lincoln and Michael. Unfortunately, no organization is mole-proof.Sucre is still trying to get a hold of Maria Cruz, to no avail. The one chance he has of talking to her on the phone is taken away when the cops park next to the pay phone where he is waiting.Bellick and Geary find the key to the locker and have to get it from T-Bag in a most vile and disgusting way. They leave him chained by his bad hand to a radiator and call the cops on him as they make their way to the money. There, did that seem scattershot enough for you? I did it on purpose because that was the way the episode played out for me. It was BAM -- here's one thing! And then, BAM -- here's another, and... Well, you get the idea. This was not a bad thing and we did get the opportunity to see Michael thinking on his feet and outwitting Agent Mahone.You know they are piling on the tense drama because, according to IMdb, there are only two more episodes listed. That would give us a 12-episode season and last season was 17 episodes. So, I hope there are more episodes to be listed because I can't see this show wrapping up in two more episodes. At least, not to a satisfactory conclusion.Once again, the people who give us Prison Break know what they're doing and manage to keep putting out a show that keeps me screaming at my television. I know they can't hear me, but I just can't help it. Oh, and one last thing. You just know next week T-Bag is yanking that damned hand off. It makes me cringe to think of it.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

DVD Review: Classic Albums: Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell

Douglas A. Waltz — Tue, 7 Nov 2006 07:11:45 EST

There is a series of 60-minute documentaries entitled Classic Albums and each one takes a small peek into what it takes to make a classic album. I got lucky. I got to see how Bat Out Of Hell was made. If there was ever an example of catching lightning in a bottle, this is it. In a time period when the last thing that would sell is a rock album that borders on theatrical, Bat Out Of Hell managed to defy everyone. We learn that Meat Loaf, or Meat as everyone refers to him in the documentary, was trying out for a musical that Jim Steinman had written. In the musical there was a solo number that brought the house down every time Meat sang it. This gave Steinman the idea of making this album. He wanted to make the ultimate crash song, the ultimate make out song, the ultimate ballad. Each song he wrote had to be the best of its kind.With the help of producer Todd Rundgren they started making the album work. One of the interesting things to me is in the title track of the album -- both Steinman and Meat wanted a motorcycle revving its engines. Rundgren wasn’t about to drag a motorcycle into his studio so he simulated it on the guitar. I have spent decades just 'knowing' that they recorded a motorcycle.The documentary is full of little tidbits like this. And it actually makes you want to dig up your recording and listen to it. I know I did.The only true drawback to the entire DVD is the lack of songs played the whole way through. Sure, there is lots of never before seen concert footage, but it is constantly interrupted by the people involved. Maybe this would have worked better as a two disc set, one of the documentary, which is excellent, and another one of just concert footage

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

TV Review: Prison Break - "Unearthed"

Douglas A. Waltz — Tue, 31 Oct 2006 22:24:01 EST

T-Bag (Robert Knepper) has managed to make off with the entire D.B. Cooper fortune. Unlucky for him is the fact that Bellick (Wade Williams) knows exactly where he is going and manages to beat him to the punch, capturing him.Meanwhile, Scofield (Wentworth Miller) has evaded capture and learns of Tweener’s death. He is able to use that genius of his and a computer and discover all the nasty little secrets Mahone (William Fichtner) has buried in his backyard. Coupled with an interview with Mahone’s ex wife, Scofield calls Mahone and tells him to back off. Mahone knows where Scofield is going to rendezvous with Sara Tancredi (Sarah Wayne Callies), so he’s feeling pretty damned brave about the whole thing.Lincoln (Dominic Purcell) and his son LJ (Marshall Allman) make the stupid mistake of trying to catch a train and get caught by locals instead. And, while all this is going on, C-Note (Rockmond Dunbar) is able to get his daughter and wife right out from under the nose of the F.B.I.This is one of those episodes that moves forward at an incredible rate. The hour feels like half that and you are left breathless at the end, wanting more. Prison Break has managed to become more of a viewing addiction than a lot of programming because it relies on the old Hollywood trick of the cliffhanger. Sure, it might seem tiresome to some people that the entire show hinges on a series of cliffhangers, one right after the other, but as long as it manages to be interesting, it will continue to work and continue to suck in new viewers with each episode.Now that we know Agent Mahone is working for Madame President and his orders are to kill every one of the convicts, it becomes more interesting. These convicts think they are eluding the police and the worst thing that can happen is they will be sent back to Fox River. Now, they have to work under the knowledge they are being hunted down and executed one by one. My only complaint is the scarce amount of screen time given to Haywire (Silas Weir Mitchell). Besides Scofield, he is probably one of the most interesting characters in the series and more should be done to develop his character.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

DVD Review: Greg The Bunny: Best Of The Film Parodies

Douglas A. Waltz — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 07:01:08 EDT

Back in 2002, FOX Network aired a show called Greg The Bunny. It starred Seth Green and a bunch of puppets that were real. See, the premise is that all of those puppets you see on television are actual living creatures. The show had potential, but it was hamstrung by being on a broadcast network.Now IFC has picked up the basic idea, with a lot less Seth Green, and run with it. The two-disc set has 14 film parodies starring the star of the show, Greg, along with Warren the Ape, Count Blah, and The Wumpus. There’s a fifth puppet, but he’s hardly in it and his name escapes me.These guys parody anything that might be considered independent. Let’s run down a list of the victims, shall we?Pulp FictionEasy RiderAnnie HallBarton Fink2001: A Space OdysseyFargoAuto FocusThe AddictionDown By LawEd WoodThe GodfatherEraserheadNatural Born Killersand something called simply, Blah.My favorites would have to be Pulp Fiction, called Dead Puppet Storage here, and Martian Serum Seven From Mars, which is Ed Wood, sort of. That’s the really great thing about these 12-minute parodies. They use the basis as a jumping off point and run with it. Warren is so obnoxious it isn’t funny and, for some reason, puppets are allowed to have sex with hot girls. Not sure how that works, but who am I to argue about getting to see hot girls?Count Blah kills me every time he talks because he punctuates each sentence with the word, ‘blah’. And if you mention The Count from Sesame Street, he goes off like Martin Landau playing Bela Lugosi in Ed Wood.From the opening credits, which are a rip from The A-Team, to the fact these are anything but lovable and cuddly puppets, Greg The Bunny is one of the funniest things I have seen in quite some time. And, since each episode is only 12 minutes long, they tend not to bog down in the middle like so many other lengthy parodies do.The DVD set has commentary for all of the episodes, deleted scenes, a gag reel, and the obligatory photo galleries. There are also two featurettes, one, entitled Affirmative Action is okay, but the one called Ezekiel 25:17 is by far one of the funniest things on the disc, funnier than a few of the episodes.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

Movie Review: The Cave Of The Yellow Dog

Douglas A. Waltz — Wed, 25 Oct 2006 09:00:45 EDT

From director Byambasuren Davaa, the man who gave us The Story Of The Weeping Camel comes a film that might be best described as a manipulated documentary.It deals with the life of a nomadic family in Mongolia. They raise sheep and have a few cattle. Their community living tent is a beautiful thing to behold, full of things that are precious to them. The oldest daughter, Nansal Batculuun, comes home from school to her mother, Buyandulam; father, Urjindorj; her little brother, Babbayar; and sister, Nansalmaa. For all I can tell this is a real family and what we see is how they live their lives. Their nomadic life is a solitary one and it is while Nansal is out collecting dung for the fire that she finds a young dog in a cave. She drags the puppy home and announces that she is keeping it. Her mother is wishy washy on the subject, but knows that her husband will not approve. Earlier in the film they lost two sheep to a pack of wolves. To him a wild dog is just as bad. But, Nansal is quite stubborn and willing to fight with her father concerning the dog who she names Zophar (it means Spot). And this is from a girl who really can’t be any older than eight or ten. It is amazing to watch her assert herself in the family at such a young age.This is why I’m referring to the film as a manipulated documentary. It is obvious that this is a real family unit and they are living their lives so that it can be captured on camera. But, then there are things like finding the dog and when Nansal wanders off in search of the dog and gets lost. She winds up at an old woman’s home and is cared for until her mother finds her. Well, the camera crew was in both places so she was never really lost. See what I mean? It is a little confusing at first, but once you embrace the concept it tells a sweet story of a family and their dog.Of course there are some heavy handed statements about the encroachment of civilization. They have a windmill to generate electricity and for long trip they use a motorcycle. It is amusing to see them break camp down at the end of the film and use their beasts of burden to haul the motorcycle.Regardless of the odd shape that the narrative takes, this is a beautiful film to watch filled with gorgeous vistas of unspoiled wilderness and a small family and how they make their way across the world and survive in it.In the end The Cave Of The Yellow Dog is entertainment, regardless of how the film makers got there.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

TV Review: Prison Break - "Dead Fall"

Douglas A. Waltz — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 23:42:06 EDT

After a three week hiatus due to the cursed sport of baseball, we Prison Break junkies were able to get our dose of double-crosses, cliffhangers, and just scratching our heads. When we left our escaped cons, Fernando Sucre (Amaury Nolasco) had double-crossed the rest of the gang and taken the money for his own. Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller) and C-Note (Rockmond Dunbar) decided to leave T-Bag (Robert Knepper) for the cops to find. Only he made off while they were in the house and they had no idea where he went. It is only after Scofield and C-Note separate that we discover Sucre was just helping Michael to make sure they got the money away from T-Bag. Only, T-Bag is always a lot smarter than they give him credit for, so all they got was a bag of magazines while he made off with five million dollars.Meanwhile, Dr. Sara Tancredi (Sarah Wayne Callies) has escaped from an attempt on her life. When she calls people she trusts, they send someone to gun her down. Luckily, she passed a woman who looked a lot like her from the back and that woman was gunned down instead. Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell) had split from the group last episode because they were letting his son out of jail. Now anyone in their right mind knew that this was a ploy to try and get Burrows out in the open. As all this is going down, Agent Mahone is getting grilled by an internal affairs agent who is ready to nail him for the murder of Tweener (last episode).And, if this already wasn’t hard enough, while Scofield and Sucre are making their way across the river, Sucre slips and gets wedged under a really big tree. There seems to be no escape and the dam upriver has just released water, making the river swell.This is one of the reasons I really like this show. They just keep heaping more and more on to each episode until you marvel at the fact it doesn’t collapse under its own weight -- little things like the clues Scofield has been leaving for Sara (which she has started to figure out this episode) and the way Bellick (Wade Williams) just refuses to stay down. You know this is going to explode at the season finale and it might lead to a third season. We’re just not sure how long they can manage to keep this kind of suspense going.Another excellent episode of what may be some of the best action on television today.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

Movie Review: No Umbrella: Election Day In The City

Douglas A. Waltz — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 22:58:32 EDT

No Umbrella: Election Day In The City is a 30-minute documentary that chronicles a look at inner city voting in Cleveland, Ohio for the 2004 Presidential elections. Located in one of the poorest neighborhoods, no one is ready for the outpouring of people to the polls. Understaffed and under-equipped, it is up to octogenarian councilwoman Fannie Lewis to take charge of the situation. The film chronicles her arrival at 7:30 AM and shows how every attempt she makes to correct what is potentially a volatile situation is squashed. She is promised extra voting booths that take hours to arrive and, when they do, they don’t have the proper inserts to make them work. She is promised extra workers and after hours of being on the phone, she finally gets half of what she requested.It doesn’t take long before it becomes a media circus with film makers and news crews all trying to get the story. Even the mayor of Cleveland steps in and her biggest solution to the problem is to get people out of the rain. Other than that she knows a media fiasco when she sees it and high tails it out of there pretty quick.No Umbrella is a fine example of being in the right place at the right time. I have no idea what possessed documentarian Laura Paglin to be here, but she is showing that when there is an agenda in place, our basic civil rights can be destroyed. This was a neighborhood that was very pro-Kerry and it becomes obvious that this neighborhood was being targeted to make voting as difficult as possible for this cross-section of people.No Umbrella doesn’t do anything but give us what they see. Some people are identified for us as the story unfolds and it’s important for us to know who they are. But other than that, it is just raw, brutal film making.In end, No Umbrella is a testament to people who will do whatever it takes to fight for their basic rights as American citizens. Ms. Fannie Lewis shows that one person can make a difference if they want to. No Umbrella will make you angry. If it doesn’t, then there is something seriously wrong with you.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.

DVD Review: Flesh For Olivia

Douglas A. Waltz — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 13:56:37 EDT

Okay, Olivia is stuck working for this crazy bastard Claudio, who forces her to put on performances for him. Specifically, strangulation stuff. Anyone familiar with the name Bill Hellfire knows that if anyone can do strangulation stuff, it’s him. Flesh For Olivia is no exception.The plot is minimal - okay, non-existent - and it was really supposed to be a sequel to an earlier Hellfire flick, Silk Stocking Strangler. We get lots of girl on girl soft-core, lots of strangulation, some foot fetish thrown in for good measure, and some stock footage from other Misty Mundae flicks. It’s a hodgepodge, really. I love Misty Mundae and this flick is over four years old and she looks real good in it. I really like Julian Welles and she is just steamy as hell in this flick.I cannot stand A.J. Khan. You have to understand. I have watched a lot of Seduction Cinema fare. For many years I feel like I have been chronicling the rise and fall of the company. That said I really have an issue with A.J. Khan. I don’t find her attractive and she annoys me whenever she is on the screen.That said, the movie is exactly what it is supposed to be -- a fix for the Misty junkies out there in the big world. We all know that Misty has gone on to legitimate acting and will no longer be gracing the footage of Seduction Cinema. They will either survive this or not. I’m betting that they can pull it off if they keep using directors like Hellfire, Brett Piper, and Tony Marsiglia.As far as Seduction Cinema discs go, this one is really slim and not chock full of the goodies we come to expect from them. It’s like they have stopped trying and are just parceling out whatever Misty stuff they have left before they run out.Kind of a shame.

Douglas A. Waltz reviews films. Some of which are so bad that he has received special training. If a normal person would be forced to sit through what he has endured, they wuld be stone cold dead.