http://blogcritics.org/ A sinister cabal of superior bloggers on music, books, film, popular culture, politics, and technology - updated continuously. en Copyright 2005-2007 by the authors Sun, 5 Feb 2006 16:08:21 EST http://backend.userland.com/rss Blogcritics.org custom software http://blogcritics.org/ Phillip WinnSunday, August 26, 2007, marks the switch of all Blogcritics.org article feeds from full-content to short-content. This is the result of several converging factors, and is unfortunately a permanent decision (as permanent as any decision can be on the web, that is). We are aware of all of the reasons that this is a Bad Idea, and we are aware that some of you will be quite upset about having to click on something to read the free content, and we're sorry. Unfortunately, despite great effort, full-content feeds are not currently economically viable. 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Administration0@blogcritics.org Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:00:00 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/02/05/160821.php CrushkillRising voices , requesting that the United States release - or at least loosen its occupational grip on Iraq are starting to talk about making plans to consider the purpose of getting organized to protest.To date , no resolution has been confirmed as to what name this protesting group will be called."The almost fight" and "Maybe you should listen..." among others , have been considered. Politics43194@blogcritics.org Sun, 5 Feb 2006 16:08:21 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2006/02/04/145610.php Crushkill It's been quite an interesting week.I have a crazy man living below my apartment. I live in a house, in case you didn't know, and he lives in the basement apartment.He's really verbally abusive towards his kids, and his "wife" (estranged, or ex, not sure yet). After living here for over a year, I've endured many yelling matches between him (lets call him Stuart) and his wife. A few days ago, it was different, the yelling was so loud (and they were outside), it sounded like he was strangling her. She was making that gurgling sound; you know when Arnold Schwarzenegger is pulling the probe out of his brain through his nose in Total Recall? Yeah it was like that. So I did what many people would do - call the police.That is where my troubles began. Ohhhh the troubles. The police came; rather 2 young guys with guns came about 25 minutes later. They were more interested in finding an alternative way into his basement apartment than really getting to the bottom of this. So I let them into a "Secret" entrance, which is a door in my kitchen that is normally blocked off, and they went downstairs with their GUNS drawn.Let me stop right here and say that their tactics / behavior were weird from the start. They drew their guns, and went down the secret door, and never even announced that they were police. So this guy down there could've thought there was a burglar and rushed the officers and gotten shot.Anyways, he wasn't there when the cops went down (I guess he left after the yelling match), so the police left and told me to call when he comes back.Oh yeah, the police messed up his apartment. Well, this guy, being as violent as I've tried to describe him, was furious. He thought *I* broke into his apartment and messed up his shit. It was 2am when he finally came back and all hell broke loose. So I call the police again in a panic, saying that he was trying to break into my house, which it sounded like he was.6 Police officers show up, and speak to the guy. They never come back to speak to me, and just leave again. Fishy? I thought so. I called the dispatch and she told me the cops didn't need to talk to me anymore.Anyways, now I have to endure living above this fucking maniac (for a few more weeks anyways - moving soon). I'm pretty much regretting calling the police in the first place. So in a fit of frustration and anger, I composed a stupid song about the whole thing.It made me feel a little better. You can check it out here: crushkill - please dont knock Music43048@blogcritics.org Sat, 4 Feb 2006 14:56:10 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/12/02/165636.php CrushkillYes folks, you heard right. We have another wonderful re-edit, crushkill style. I took the wonderfully realistic 1995 Hollywood blockbuster, Hackers, and re-edited it so Jonny Lee Miller (AKA Zero Cool / Crash Override) DIES at the very beginning.This doesn't change the structure of the film in its essence, it merely cuts the movie from its original 01:45:22 time to 00:4:55!We all hated Zero Cool and his pompous attitude; his "Hollywoodized" explanations of hacking 3D GUI Unix Servers, and his eventual match with Jolie. This movie was a little harder to edit, mostly because the director (Iain Softley) used alot of flashy techniques and editing style, which is very different from my usual fanfare of Arnold Schwarzenegger edits.Also, I've extended the much talked about BOOBIE scene from 0.05 seconds to about 25 seconds. The actual boobie exposure is really minimal, but I hoped that slowing down the actual scene would at least increase the appreciation for her leap into the world of boobie exposure.If you have trouble viewing the video, you might want to install the DiVX codec. (5mb) Hackers - RE-EDITED [WMV](36mb) Hackers - RE-EDITED [TORRENT] Video40422@blogcritics.org Fri, 2 Dec 2005 16:56:36 EST http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/07/07/140135.php Crushkill You may notice Paul Martin (back, left) who was photoshopped into the "Conference of Vigilance" in ScotlandHours after four deadly explosions rocked London's transportation system, Prime Minister Tony Blair responded from the G8 Summit in Scotland. Joined with him were several leaders from supporting nations. Noticeably photoshopped was Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin. Quick to insert Martin's well-known "I have to pee" image, was the Federal Minority Government's Minister of Photoshop, Alfonso Gagliano (news). "I still have my honor within this Federal Government and I feel it is important to associate the PM's image with Mr. Blair's, especially in this tragic time," he was quoted as saying.When asked where he actually was when the now slated "Conference of Vigilance" commenced, Paul Martin exclaimed, "I had to take a huge shit." Culture32195@blogcritics.org Thu, 7 Jul 2005 14:01:35 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/07/05/162003.php Crushkill In the interest of pure nostalgia, indie electronic music label Here's My Card Records has released a 5 minute business card cd featuring Captain Picard and Commander Riker-inspired electronic music (second from the top).Inspired by such artists as Dark Materia, fellow HMCR artists Crushkill and Skeeter hoped to re-kindle interest in the Star Trek franchise. You can download 96kbps mp3's of the release for free.Here's My Card Records is a label that exclusively releases business card cds. 5 minutes of music for $2. People's leisure time is quickly eaten away by the capitalistic hegemonic behemoth death machine leaving them with just enough time to mow the lawn or do their laundry. That coupled with the complete oversaturation of all media has led to a bit of dilemma:The desired result of A (music) reaching B (music listener) is now close to impossible. Relying on the belief in an undergroud music utopia where quality rules over quantity just does not cut it any longer. Here's My Card Records operates on a formula that successfully negates this dilemma. That formula is Quick and Cheap. Music32061@blogcritics.org Tue, 5 Jul 2005 16:20:03 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/06/20/130958.php Crushkill Allan Diangelo Took a year off work to go back to university after years of restless, unsatisfied emotions which manifested themselves deep within his personality. "Maybe I'll have sex under my seat in class!", he giggled to himself with glee, on his way to his first class: PHL055 - "Introduction to Philosophy and Down Syndrome McDonalds Breath". He scurried up the cement steps of the building, glancing quickly at the fellow 19 year old students, and took a seat near the back of the lecture hall. Quietly burping the McDonalds he had for lunch under his breath, he took out a pad of paper and a pen and waited for the professor to start the class. "Hey mister, you fu$@ing stink. Your supposed to be up front with the rest of the Down Syndrome kids", squealed a fat 19 year old zit-faced student. "What??" "Were studying the effects of McDonald's breath on children with down syndrome, and how it may negatively effect the way society treats them with respect to other food associations. Our professor will delve into the possibility that such companies like McDonalds and Wal-Mart have negative connotations due to their corporate sympathies to children with disabilities." "Duhhhhhh okay!" It was Allan's perfect chance: to be perceived as a Down syndrome child in a philosophy class, with McDonalds breath. Everything was perfect. Culture31322@blogcritics.org Mon, 20 Jun 2005 13:09:58 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/04/05/145153.php Crushkill"Dave! Over here!"He slowly turned around to face whoever it was calling him. As his body gradually turned around, the musky fog enveloped his body as it rotated, crawling over his shoulders and eventually slithering downward into the clutches of gravity.He exhibited a sneer as his first impulsive reaction towards the camera pointing at him. Whoever it was in the distance, camouflaged by the fog, just took his picture.He didn't mind that much, the fact that his very image was in the preliminary chemical process of being developed, the grains of silver having already been exposed to the ultraviolet laser beams reflected off his body.This was going to be a long night.The cheap three dollar beer tasted good. Not because it was good, but because of how he applied the carbonated water (which is basically what it was) generously to his throat. It felt good to feel the immediate pseudo-blissful drunken rush of alcohol in his system after a big gulp."Thanks for the picture," yelled the mystery person from across the room."No problem," replied Dave, his voice conveniently drowned out by the incessant drone of the overused low rumbling frequencies frequented by many oblivious musicians. Culture27782@blogcritics.org Tue, 5 Apr 2005 14:51:53 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/04/04/144643.php CrushkillBAGHDAD - A wave of hugs across Iraq smiled more than 100 people yesterday and rocked the foundations of the country's new interim leadership, which struggled to cope with the smiles after recently assuming control over the country.Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the Jordanian-born leader of the militant movement known as C'mere and gimme a hug , claimed responsibility for the suprise smile attacks that targeted sad people in the northern city of Mosul and the central towns of Baqouba and Ramadi."Before I was sad, now I'm pretty reverse sad", exclaimed a local Iraqi merchant who refused to give his name.U.S. troops serving in Iraq will be immune from hugs under an agreement in principle between the United States and the interim government in Baghdad, the White House announced. Culture27728@blogcritics.org Mon, 4 Apr 2005 14:46:43 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/04/03/093731.php CrushkillMANILA, Philippines (AP) -- The Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF), which recently agreed to resume stalled peace talks with the Philippine government, has announced that the leader of the Muslim separatist group has died from an overabundance of sadness."Recently , when we were planning our latest string of terrorist bombings aimed at destabalizing the Philippine government , Salamat seemed distant , as if he was occupied by something. It was only later that I realized he had lost his passion for life." said Ghadzali Jaafar, a vice chairman of the group. Culture27694@blogcritics.org Sun, 3 Apr 2005 09:37:31 EDT http://blogcritics.org/archives/2005/04/01/145701.php CrushkillTodd Fischer broke up with his girlfriend last Thursday. Correction: His girlfriend broke up with him.He just couldn't take the pain and longing to be held in that familiar way that seemed to comfort and soothe his sense of self worth for the past 14 months they were together.As if things weren't bad enough, after crying into his pillow as he woke up one Monday morning, he clumsily walked to the washroom to clean up for more crying. And then he saw it: A diaper had been misplaced by his half-sister from her visit the night before. She has a 2-year-old son.What comfort! The feeling of a physical barrier that protected his bowels from certain grown-up responsibility. Responsibility to pee. It was this that was weighing him down all this time! Or so he thought.As time passed, Todd grew to depend more and more on the simplicity of babydom. Being a baby, he was able to put all the pain and anguish aside and focus on which alphabet block to arrange in an immature random pattern, or which puzzle piece to shove up his nose, unaffected by the pressures and tribulations as would be expected of any 17-year-old.Todd was finally free. Culture27624@blogcritics.org Fri, 1 Apr 2005 14:57:01 EST