It seems that people are getting sick of David Blaine's shenanigans. (I know!) The magician/reality stuntman/bat guano crazy dude/attention-starved strumpet — pick your moniker — has done a lot of crazy things, such as lying in a block of ice, a tank of water, and a box of nothing. This past weekend, he hung upside down from a high-rise rope. In a way, he was the original living, breathing, motivational poster. But with fewer whiskers.

The hangin' was followed by a "Dive of Death" in which — spoiler!! — he doesn't actually die. Popwatch's Vanessa Suarez is clueless as to why this is called magic. Agreed. These are just really, really hard-to-do stunts, but no illusions are involved. Now if during his Dive of Death he landed on the eight of spades — which was my card — and a family of rabbits sprung from the sewers singing "Good Morning Starshine," then I'd call it a magic trick. Or if he, y'know, got away with taking hourly breaks during his 60 hours of hanging.

With that in mind, I'd like to share with you a list of David Blaine's potential new tricks, and it's up to YOU! [points dramatically and emphatically through the screen toward your face] to decide whether they're magic tricks or stunts laden with of patience and fortitude. That way he can use more salient judgment in the future as to which ones he picks:

• PROPOSAL NO. 1 — David Blaine stays locked in a hotel room full of ill-tempered badgers for 43 days, exits with a warehouse pallet full of Omaha brand badger steaks.

• PROPOSAL NO. 2 — David Blaine tries to circumnavigate the world in a hot air balloon, only the hot air is comprised of John Madden's farts.

• PROPOSAL NO. 3 — David Blaine rides a carnival Tilt-A-Whirl™ for 28 straight hours, stopping every four hours to dine on a meal of creamed corn and half-and-half.

• PROPOSAL NO. 4 — David Blaine plays Grand Theft Auto for six straight days, actually trying to beat the game and not just steal cars in order to run over old people.

• PROPOSAL NO. 5 — David Blaine dons a Philly Phanatic mascot suit doused in deer urine, camps out in the forest for 18 days.

• PROPOSAL NO. 6 — David Blaine lies in a sauna for 16 days, then dives into a wading pool full of raisins, with which he is scooped and poured into a bowl of giant cereal; he stays there for eight days, and after the elapsed time, he's the only thing that isn't soggy.

• PROPOSAL NO. 7 — David Blaine sits through an entire screening of Kevin Costner's The Postman, followed by a Dane Cook comedy routine and a mime opera.

• PROPOSAL NO. 8 — David Blaine disappears from the spotlight for 20 consecutive years — longer if needed, or if the public forgets about the stunt.