Written by Fumo Verde

All right, Stoner Nation, this one is for those of us not so fortunate enough yet to get our asses over to Holland and hit the weed-friendly city of Amsterdam. Since I haven’t hit the Cup myself, this DVD provides a little insight to what we as stoners call our “Oscars.” This hour-long documentary allows us a judges’ eye-view of how winners are chosen. Breeders and growers from all over the globe have come here to prove themselves. Like the North Shore of Oahu for surfers, the Cannabis Cup will either make or break one’s career in the world of pot growing. So pack a freshy-fresh, find the lighter that works, and prepare to see some of this planet’s most amazing marijuana.

The celebrity judges included people who you would know if you always read High Times. I don’t read the magazine, so I honestly had no idea who these people were. I knew they were important though, because their names flashed up on the screen, and if I wasn’t so high myself I would have remembered to write them down, but when in Holland, do like the Dutch. The one thing I will say for these judges is they knew their pot. When people start delving into the realm of botany and begin to extrapolate about glandular trichomes, that’s where I pack a fresh bowl and start flicking my lighter. It’s interesting and I know it’s important because this will determine the level of THC, but I’m more into the high and the taste. If you are looking to become a grower you need to listen to what these people are talking about. When you figure it out, grow some grass, and I’ll come over and smoke it and tell you if I’m stoned.

Watching the judges smoke was a thrill, but listening to them discuss how the mellowness or harshness of the bud compared to the others they were smoking and how the flavors of the pot came out and surprised their tasted buds was the real treat. I learned that if you sneeze after taking a solid hit off a doob, then this bud is a winner. To some, sitting around a room and smoking joint after joint might be the best way to determine which pot is a winner, but for me it the memories, or lack, of the high and how it felt; this for me at least will decided if I buy that strain again.

But the Cannabis Cup isn’t just about the weed. It’s about the coffee shops and the owners too. As a judge you not only have to rate the weed, but the shop that supplied you with it too. One must judge on the atmosphere of these shops. You must rate the music, lighting, and the character of the shop itself, the knowledge of the people working there, and how friendly they were. There is a list of items of which a judge must score upon and you must do it in a five-day period. To me this seems insane as you try to run around the city and hit as many coffee houses as possible while being lit up like a kite. Your vote does count when it comes to who has the best shop and all that goes with it, but when it comes to deciding what breeder has the best indica or best sativa or hybrid, well those decisions are left up to the panel of experts I told you about before. Kind of like the Electoral College but for weed.