Oh, Deere! Man Charged Over Lawn Mower Shooting
Published July 28, 2008
Keith Walendowski was charged after Milwaukee law enforcement responded to a call about a man shooting his lawn mower. Angry that his mower wouldn't start Wednesday morning, Walendowski told police, “I can do that, it's my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want." He has been charged with felony possession of a short-barreled shotgun or rifle and misdemeanor disorderly conduct while armed.
I’m not a fan of guns, much less the sawed-off shotgun; and yes, I readily acknowledge the man broke the law, but c’mon. Violently doing away with inoperable outdoor equipment is surely what our forefathers had in mind when they wrote the second amendment. Most of us wish to live in a free state. What greater American imprisonment is there than being caught in the throes of a life like Walendowski’s - and then not being able to just mow the damned lawn?
A lawn mower that won’t start after a life like the one Walendowski has obviously lived ranks right up there with not being able to find your left shoe right before the only job interview you’ve been able to secure in over a month while the collection agencies breathe down your neck and the bankin’ man whistles as he posts a notice of foreclosure on the front door.
Walendowski shot his mower, not a person; and he shot it on a Wednesday morning - not a Sunday morning or a Saturday night. There are considerably more wicked folk in this world who not only possess firearms, but who also use them against people who mow their lawns at indecent hours.
At all of 56 years of age (yes, youngsters, 56 is still young to everyone over the age of 35), the man has clearly had a difficult life. The time of day of the offense and his mug shot indicate a man who is either unemployed or has just come off of a night shift. Something is most awry with his grooming, and if he has any dental insurance, it’s sorely lacking. One’s lips don’t cave in like that by themselves no matter how old you are. There but for the grace of God and all that, yes?
Any criminal record that might be attributed to Walendowski is insignificant and dated. Clearly he does not present a history of being a threat to himself or other lawn mowers. I implore the authorities: put him out to pasture. Maybe make sure that pasture is greener, and on the other side of the fence.
The most curious part of the story is the woman who lives with Walendowski. She is the one who reported the incident. While I personally would never have taken up residence with Walendowski in the first place, I don’t know that I would’ve called the police on my in-house indigent. I might instead have been in need of an ambulance myself. Laughing that hard can make it difficult to breathe.
Diana (nee Gulick) Hartman is the Culture and Tastes Editor for Blogcritics.org. She is a freelance writer, mother of three, and a (Ret.) US Marine spouse. She is a Wichita, Kansas native, having also lived in the California desert, Southern California, and eastern North Carolina. She currently resides for the second time in Stuttgart, Germany. She is a contributing writer to Holiday Writes.
- Oh, Deere! Man Charged Over Lawn Mower Shooting
- Published: July 28, 2008
- Type: Opinion
- Section: Culture
- Filed Under: Culture: Home and Garden, Culture: Crime and Court, Culture: Society
- Writer: Diana Hartman
- Diana Hartman's BC Writer page
- Diana Hartman's personal site
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This is both funny and sad. Funny, in that the same emotion swept over me when struggling with my late Honda gas-powered mower. Sad, because he could have invested in an electric mower, which is something I did and I've been in Nirvana ever since.
I certainly have felt the same malice toward my computer at times. I have been known to publicly state (loudly) that I would be throwing it into the busy thoroughfare outside my window if the IT guy didn't get there fast enough.
My local radio station called this guys house this morning. Talked to someone at hte house that said this is just the icing on the cake so to speak. The guys just a little over the top when he gets angry apparently.
the story they read on the radio said that they had also checked with a local mower salesman who said that the mower repairs would not be covered under the manufacturers warranty because shooting the mower would not be considered "normal wear and tear"!
This man may or may not have been prudent in his actions. Nevertheless, as a Jewess in the US, I would like to remind everyone that America wasn't won with a registered gun, and that criminals are stopped by FIREARMS, not by talk. That is why all REAL Americans put our 2nd Amendment FIRST!
What on earth does being jewish have to do with anything. Jewish ladies mow lawns?
Jewish ladies are packing some serious heat.
as a Jewess in the US, I would like to remind everyone that America wasn't won with a registered gun
As an amateur actor who once appeared in the play Arsenic and Old Lace, I would like to point out that you are exactly right. American was won with the help of a number of tools including unregistered guns, wagons, forced migration, plows, genocide, railroads and smallpox.
criminals are stopped by FIREARMS, not by talk
Tell that to the guy in Dniepropetrovsk who's hacking into your bank account right now.
That is why all REAL Americans put our 2nd Amendment FIRST!
Of course. That would be why it's called the First Second Amendment. Never mind all that freedom of religion, free speech, peaceable assembly and petitioning the government nonsense.
BTW, anyone like to take a bet that our friend Wendy, besides being a Jewess in the Ewess, is a card-carrying member of both the National Rifle Association and the Amalgamated Slogan Parroters of America?
Actually she sorta reminds me of... nah, they probably just share a library card...
Nice theory, Jet. But not this time. Different IP address, different writing style.
Oh yeah, that's right, the usual scramble of the initials wasn't there... my bad
You know Diana; even without the picture, I knew he looked like that. Probably his highschool yearbook photo.
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Well, to be fair, he caught the lawn mower in bed with his daughter.