It’s hell being an insomniac these days. I can’t read or venture online in my comfy bed, because my husband would kill me. Honestly. He’s a staunch proponent of getting a good night’s rest and claims to need at least eight hours of sleep. I would hear about it the next day if I happen to turn over in my sleep too many times.

I won’t get up and move downstairs to read or go online because it’s chilly down there. Besides, I might be motivated to vacuum, and that would wake up my daughter, who has taken to sleeping on the couch instead of in her room.

My only consolation is to turn on the TV (quietly) and flip through channels until sleep overcomes me.

I don’t like watching TV, but it makes for a handy electronic device to have if you can’t sleep. What I have painfully discovered during my latest excursion into Late Night TV Land is that there isn’t any programming on worth watching.

I know the Generation Xs, Ys and Zs won’t believe it, but there was once a golden age of television when all the networks faded to black everyday at midnight. That was in the dinosaur days of three channels and no remote control. Eventually, a few network stations would keep their airwaves going all night by running old movies or reruns of classic TV sitcoms.

Then, with the dawning of cable, more channels jumped on the Programming All Night boat. Those were halcyon days for insomniacs, where there was a veritable smorgasbord of entertainment to choose from on every cable channel, all night long.

I’m not sure when it happened, but after a time, cable channels got wise (or lazy). Even the old stand-bys like the Discovery Channel and the Food Network don’t provide 24-hour continuous original programming anymore. Instead, they fill their wee-morning time slots with infomercial after sickening infomercial.

It was an interesting journey into the land of infomercials last night. In a few short hours, I found that I could buy real estate outright for $300 (No! You think so?) and buy and sell houses for no money down (they call that “flipping). According to the paid pundits, even a dumb ass can do it. I wonder if they can make it happen in Michigan. I own a couple of houses and I doubt if I could sell them even if I wanted to.