Suss: Cowboys defensive back Adam "Pacman" Jones says he wishes to distance himself from his troubled past by shedding the Pacman nickname, requesting fans and members of the media do the same. Adam Jones further stated his longtime desire to introduce himself to strippers using a palindrome.

Tuffy: Germany will fight on Russia and Spain will battle Turkey in the Euro 2008 semi-finals o... excuse me, Germany will take on Turkey and Spain will play Russia in the Euro 2008 semifinals this week. This may be the most confusing swap since Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich.

Suss: NASCAR Sprint Cup points leader Kyle Busch won his 5th race of the season on Sunday at Infineon Raceway in Sonoma. Busch is showing everyone how to win with M&Ms, further demonstrating what Jimmy Spencer has been doing wrong all this time.

Tuffy: Big Brown now appears to have suffered a dislodged shoe during his Belmont Stakes run, which some are calling the reason for his last-place ride. Apparently, that's where the horse kept his cyanide capsule in case of femur explosion.

Suss: And finally, legendary comedian George Carlin passed away at the age of 71. We here at the Treehouse Fort extend out best wishes to the Carlin family, as does Major League Baseball and the NFL, who finally have no moral objection to merging into one sport.