Written by Hombre Divertido

Mike Myers has developed another character with comedic potential, but fails to provide said character with a script, supporting cast, director, or editor, to round out the comedic equation.

Guru Pitka (Myers) is hired by the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs (Jessica Alba) to council lovelorn superstar Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco). Vern Troyer is thrown in as the coach of the team so that Pitka can make jokes about the vertically challenged Troyer. The addition of Troyer is indicative of the film as a whole. The character of Pitka is funny, but the story is not, subsequently gags are inserted in an effort to add humor where there is none. The technique would work in a post 12:30 Saturday Night Live sketch, but it simply is not enough over the course of this 88-minute disappointment.

Justin Timberlake gives an energized performance as the well-endowed nemesis of Roanoke, but he is the only bright spot in the supporting cast. Alba, Malco, Troyer, and the horribly miscast Ben Kingsley are simply not funny and leave Myers longing for Mindy Sterling, Seth Green, or himself in another character.

Comedic announcers have become a standard in sports-themed films, and here the talented Jim Gaffigan and Stephen Colbert are employed to bring laughs to the hockey scenes. Unfortunately, the writing is so bad, that the only hope for hockey humor is to make Colbert a recovering addict. No goal.

Writers Myers and Graham Gordy manage some funny acronyms for Pitka to spew on his faithful followers, but the well-wishes expression “Mariska Hargitay” went over the heads of the audience. Almost as far over their heads as this assignment went over the head of first time director Marco Schnabel. The pacing is uneven and the set-ups for the jokes are horribly obvious and heavy handed.

Recommendation: The fecal funnies and booger bombs may appeal to the young, but the Myers faithful will be disappointed by this effort. Not enough comedy for a film that is less than an hour and a half long, and certainly less than enough comedy for you to spend your money on.