The following transcript is from the May 30, 2008 edition of the BC Sports Treehouse Fort.

Suss — Starting off with the NBA, the Los Angeles Lakers move on to the NBA Finals after beating the Spurs four games to one in the Western Conference finals. After the Game 5 loss Spurs fans everywhere collapsed in disbelief, but the refs didn't call it.

Tuffy — The NBA will institute fines for faking fouls next season, hoping to eliminate flopping. The New Jersey Nets are expected to require their backup point guard, Harvey, to wear a headband next season.

Suss — Turning to baseball, the St. Louis Cardinals will designate an entire section of their ballpark for their July 21st home game as a peanut free zone, so those with peanut allergies can watch the game in peace. Not to be outdone, the Marlins have designated their entire upper deck as "fan free zones."

Tuffy — Randy Johnson tied Roger Clemens for second place on the all-time strikeout list this week. Clemens' lawyers immediately filed suit in civil court against Johnson for defamation of character.

Suss — A lesbian couple in attendance at a Seattle Mariners game says they were kicked out of the stadium because they were kissing each other. The Mariners official said they should have been sitting in the nut free section.

Tuffy — In NFL news, Vince Young battled back against a published report this week that he seriously considered retiring after his rookie season. He scrambled against the report for seven seconds, ran headlong into it, and lost two yards. Also, Mets manager Willie Randolph again reminded reporters that he hasn't retired yet, either.

Suss — Denver Broncos backup running back Selvin Young says his goal this year is to rush for two thousand yards. In related news, Tuffy says his goal this year is to go on a date with Stockard Channing.

Tuffy — A correction: we reported earlier that the New Jersey Nets are expected to require a player with floppy ears and a tendency to disappear for games at a time to wear a headband. We misidentified this player as Harvey; the player in question was Vince Carter. We apologize for the error.

Suss — And finally, Cincinnati Reds phenom rookie Jay Bruce became the first player in over 30 years to reach base in his first six plate appearances. This prompted manager Dusty Baker to move Bruce from centerfield to the newly created position of designated bunter.