While the world struggles through Myanmar, the credit crunch, and seemingly ceaseless Democratic bickering, the sports section has provided a bastion of light for the dark days in which we find ourselves. Tales of unbridled generosity on the softball diamond, a Boston Dream Team for the ages, and a certain Webb awing audiences with his gems over the Sedona desert. Even when tragedy strikes, as with the felling of Eight Belles, the sports world marches on with the knowledge that an athlete (though not always human) gave its all for an oftentimes unattainable dream.

But for those who follow the Seattle Mariners, that light emanating out of the sports world has been hampered and beaten, bloodied by malaise and slowed by apathy. For the fans of the once-great M's, the days are often darker within Safeco Field than the intentions of Eddie Cicotte or the future of Mr. Red.
When I realized I would have to skimp on my finances and avoid an MLB.tv package this season - who knew textbooks could cost so much? - my grief was second only to my desire to drop school and head straight for the Safe. For the first time in a long time, I wouldn't get to watch my team mash during the first month of baseball. No ESPN outings, no TBS stops, not even a WGN break. The days were truly dark, for me at least.

My grief abated a tad when the Mariners came out of the gate a bit slower than expected. Splitting the two-game set with Texas precluded a four-game sweep at the hands of the lowly Baltimore Orioles. Half of the defeats to the O's came from bullpen hiccups, each deploying from the arm of baby-faced Eric O'Flaherty (who was promptly relegated back to the minors). The Mariners rounded out the month with a 12-14 mark, but the sub-.500 record belied the teams' potential: With a +15 run differential, Seattle seemed poised to breakout with a May schedule holding 19 opponents who were looking up at an even record. Granted, some of those challenges included the pitching-laden Indians and the team Sports Illustrated picked to knock off the Cubs for the World Series title, but the Mariners were looking at one of the (theoretically) easiest months they've had since their early-millennium heyday.

But as Yogi Berra said, "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, however, there is." Berra's prescience was apparently not limited solely to 21st-century military endeavors in Iraq — with a splash of Nostradamus, the aforementioned platitude is perfectly applicable to the situation in which the Mariners find themselves stumbling, bumbling, and making a mockery of the game (not to mention any publication which predicted they would finish second or better in the AL West.)