Where’s Barry? Barry Bonds – you remember him – the best home run hitter of the steroid era and a player who hit more home runs than any other baseball player, is unsigned. The players’ union is looking into why teams haven’t signed Bonds, as if something nefarious is going on. The union apparently is unaware of the fact that Bonds is a cancer in the clubhouse and a liability on the base paths, so even though he doesn’t need to play a position in the American League he will still poison a clubhouse and slow down anyone getting on base behind him. And he’s 43. With bad knees. And a bad elbow. This isn’t exactly a case for Detective Columbo. What’s next, an investigation into why Bernie Williams isn’t on a major league roster?

Steroid Trafficking In Australia. Australian authorities are reporting that PED drug busts were on the rise in 2007, as over 1600 shipments of PEDs were confiscated, up from 1055 in 2006. The authorities have already intercepted 300 shipments this year. Customs officials also claim that at least 10 percent of these shipments were headed to athletes. So American authorities aren’t the only ones engaging in a PED crackdown. The Aussies are well aware that China is the leading exporter of the raw materials and finished products that so many athletes, body builders and other appearance-obsessed folks want to use. Ironically, China is hosting this year’s summer Olympics. It will be interesting to see if the country that is the leading exporter of PEDs will be the site of failed drug tests – Australians or not - for these very same substances.

Canseco Has Some ‘Splainin’ To Do. What would a steroid-laden Ramble be without a Canseco shout out? Jose losing his house may be the least of his worries based on the line of questioning that he has apparently faced from federal investigators. The feds seem to be looking into whether Jose tried to exact payment from some ballplayers in exchange for him not mentioning them in his latest book. Payment was in the form of an investment in a Canseco film project. Investigators also want to know if there are any other steroid dealers/“personal trainers” they should know about. I have a creeping suspicion that Jose might start wishing that he had never insinuated himself into this latest chapter of the PEDs in baseball story.

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