Chuck fashion disaster of the week: Has to be that bright red sports coat he wore to school.

Blair scheme of the week: The only thing keeping Blair from her desired spot at Yale is super genius Asian Nelly Yuki, which isn’t racist at all. Blair preys on the heartbroken Nelly (genius naming because Nelly is a rap fan and Nelly is the name of a famous rapper — I miss nothing, no matter how subtle or silly) by bribing her ex to have an all night redumping with her the night before the test and then taking the batteries out of her calculator. The whole cast has limos and super-powered cell phones, but for some reason Nelly (Asians aren’t known for being technologically current are they?) is the only person on the planet without a solar-powered calculator.

Jenny still almost as bad as Blair: Jenny is grounded and Rufus is all up in her grill constantly. Jenny, though, is still concerned with out-Blairing Blair and decides that to do that she must have a rich boyfriend. How romantic and not cynical at all! Along comes a young Tom Cruise lookalike to stir her loins and to upset Rufus, who feels that his young innocent flower is too young too date. His name is, of course, Asher, which is even more pathetic than Andrew McCarthy’s Blaine from Pretty in Pink. At first, Jenny rejects Asher’s advances. That was when she thought he was a dog walker. When she finds out that he is rich, she decides instead that he is just a lover of animals. Yes, life with the rich has not jaded Jenny one bit!

Stuff that didn’t happen: No Lily. No Rufus love life. No Eric, who is probably dying to come out of the closet just to get back on the show. Until next week’s blowout finale where Serena is unmasked by her past, good night gossipers.