SATIRE

Satire: An Earth Day Interview With Mother Earth

Written by Richard Marcus
Published April 24, 2008
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Ever since you climbed out of the trees there's been somebody among you who thinks they can do this creation thing better than I can and proceeds to rip great big holes in the web that ties everything together. I'm left scurrying to try and patch it up somehow and mitigate the damage.

Of all the animals on this planet, humans were the only ones given the ability to reason, but you couldn't tell that by your actions. You people should know better, but you still shit and piss in the water you plan on drinking the next day, dump poison into the air that you need to breath in order to survive, and cut down the trees that, if given half a chance, might be able to clean the air for you - just to build another strip mall. Those aren't the actions of a caring and responsible people, let along rationale or reasonable.

If you were dumb like pigs or cows, it would be understandable; but humans are supposedly intelligent and rational. Therefore, the only explanation I'm left with for your behaviour is you don't care. What else am I supposed to think?

That was in the past. Don't you think we're getting better? Look at all the things we're doing to try and fix what we've done wrong.

Mother Earth: Recycling, carpooling, florescent light bulbs, and composting your kitchen wastes are known, where I come from, as too little, too late, and useless as tits on a bull. Oh, don't look so shocked you little putz; it's the truth. Look, those are all really nice things, and I do appreciate that the people doing them are genuine in their desire to make changes in their lives to help me. That only makes it doubly sad that it's not really doing any good.

The reality is that no matter what the government and the corporations say, it's not the fault of individuals that the world is in the trouble that's its in. For the last couple of hundred years, small minorities of humans have been making huge amounts of money off the labour of the majority at the expense of the planet's health. Mass production of anything leads to massive generation of waste, directly and indirectly.

Not only does a manufacturer have the potential to create waste products through the direct operation of his business, there's also the demands he makes upon other sectors of the system. First of all, he needs power for his equipment to work. That means electricity has to be generated for his use. Then there are the raw materials he is going to be making use of in his manufacturing process. If he uses metal, then a steel mill is involved, as well as all the waste and pollution they generate, and all the electricity they're going to need to make their equipment work.

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Copy02-11-Richard portrait-72-4x4.jpgRichard Marcus is a long-haired Canadian iconoclast who writes reviews and opines on the world as he sees it at Leap In The Dark and Epic India Magazine.
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Satire: An Earth Day Interview With Mother Earth
Published: April 24, 2008
Type: Satire
Section: Sci/Tech
Filed Under: Sci/Tech: Energy/Environment, Politics: Energy and Environment, Culture: Society, Culture: Humor and Satire
Writer: Richard Marcus
Richard Marcus's BC Writer page
Richard Marcus's personal site
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