In light of this, here are a few a few rules to criticize by:

• Always start with a positive. Give some honest statement that you liked a portion of the work - a well turned phrase, a wonderful piece of writing, some attribute of structure, the plot, the setting, something! If you can't say at least one thing nice about the work, it is likely you have some issue that is impacting your review and you aren't being fair.

• Once you have done the first positive, you can wander into the things you might change. All of your recommendations or critical statements, in my mind, come under the IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) rubric. This is directly akin to the words of William Goldman (a Hollywood god and all around interesting symbol of all that that is tinsel town) who said, "Ain't nobody knows nothing."

Cultural phenomena often come by surprise, which just means some critic didn't know a damned thing. The first review of Fred Astaire's career said, "Dances a little." Ain't nobody knows nothing. That includes critics and me. We have opinions, and a blog or forum is a place to express them, but don't expect kinder than you give. Honesty matters; bloodletting doesn't.

• The next rule is, after saying something nice and then following with the problems with the work, try to help the writer by ending with one other positive statement. It will help the eviscerated keep moving forward.

If you can't think of two positive things to say about a work, I would suggest you find something else to review. I am not trying to coddle writers; I am explaining why many comments are never heeded. Savage critique might be fun to write, but it isn't something I recommend.

If a writer prefers to face the savage lacerations of hostile review, they will let their readers know. Who knows, maybe that writer is a masochist. So, save your savaging for those who like it. For the rest, just be nice.

If the most eloquent response you can provide to writing is, "Dude this sucks," perhaps you should be considering your abilities as a reviewer. Any writer appreciates thoughtful, reasoned review, when it is provided with helpful suggestions. Personally, I think if you are going to bitch about a work, you should have some method in mind to fix the problem and a willingness to suggest that method. It isn't a criminal infraction to suggest that something is wrong and you have no solution, but I think it is good form to offer a solution if you can.