Our TV comes in via satellite courtesy of Dish Network. I myself do not watch much TV. I’ll watch movies, Court TV, and A&E, an occasional Food Network or Fine Living Channel show, and that’s about it. We popped extra for the dish package that is called “America’s Top 180,” as this is the only way my husband could get the Golf Channel. God forbid if he couldn’t chase the Tiger even if it were only on TV. The rest of the one hundred and seventy nine channels is a lot of excess programming if you’re not a TV watcher. I couldn’t even tell you all of the channels we have at our disposal.

In this particular package, we get The Movie Channel networks. Although there are seven of them, I can never seem to find a movie worth viewing when I’m in the mood to watch one. While channel surfing in that direction one early morning, I happened upon a soft porn movie. (Later on, I found out TMC often airs soft porn movies at this time, from 5:00 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. Eastern time.)

Now I’m not a prude, and graphic violence with blood and guts repulses me far more than porn ever would. Besides, this isn’t what I’d consider graphic porn. Women aren’t degraded. It’s just sex, and lots of it, with a minimal amount of plot twists. Women are undressed, yes, but you never see any “interesting” male body parts. There also aren’t any close-ups of genitalia, so it’s pretty tame stuff.

I usually sit at the counter with my coffee and occasional banana for breakfast and check out a few minutes of frolicking young bodies on celluloid before heading off to work. Better that than watching Matt Lauer schmooze with Meredith Vieira – that phony love fest is gross-out city! I can't do the "news" either. Being my age and my gender, I am now able to watch writhing naked bodies without a resultant overwhelming urge to jump my husband’s bones. In other words, watching porn doesn’t make me hot. Reading Anais Nin makes me hot; this, my friends, is just TV.

Sometimes I’ve pondered the deeper aspects of these movies, and how totally unrealistic porn movies are. Situations are out of the ordinary. For example, Voyeur’s Sex Club is about a group of attractive twenty- and thirty-somethings who stalk unsuspecting friends and neighbors and take photos of the trysts on the sly. They then meet once a week and swap stories and pictures, before pairing off with each other. Another unlikely scenario, played out in The Sex Spa, involved two massage therapists trying to break free from their current spa situation to start their own business. In the meantime, they perform acts beyond the boundaries of a regular masseuse in order to get the start-up money for their venture.