OPINION

Blindly Navigating a Maze of Bureaucracy, Depression, and Suicide

Written by Jet in Columbus
Published April 16, 2008
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To compound my problems, GB almost pushed me over the edge to suicide. Over the last four years, I found I wouldn’t be able to return to the life and career I loved. My eyes were failing and cutting me off from artwork and writing. My left leg was all but destroyed and I’d never be able to be active again. As these problems continuously grew, a deep depression set in that progressively got worse as my life continued to fall apart.

If you’ve never experienced a clinical depression, you’d never understand. It affects you physically as much as mentally. To combat it, I started on 20mg of Cymbalta, and then a few months later it was increased to 30 (which at the time was the maximum recommended dose), then 60, and eventually 90mg a day. On a Monday in mid-March, I went into refill the prescription only to be told that GB was re-evaluating my case and wouldn’t authorize it. I was out, and the pharmacist took pity on me and gave me a three-day supply until they could get it straightened out.

On Wednesday, they told me GB still wouldn’t authorize it. I had to go cold turkey from 90mg a day down to zero. By Saturday I was experiencing uncontrolled rages. I trashed my apartment trying to find my glasses and bellowed angrily at nothing. My sleep schedule went out the window and I’d sleep eight hours, wake for four, then grow tired and fall asleep again. I couldn’t keep track of what day it was. Killing myself to end the ordeal was never far from my thoughts as the withdrawal symptoms got worse.

Mysteriously I began spontaneously bleeding. I’d clean off the site only to discover I couldn’t find where it was coming from. My shoulders were scabbed over, as were sites on my hairline and below my knees. My doctor looked at them and within seconds told me what I’d already suspected: it was caused by nerves and tension. Within days my pillows and sheets were covered in dried blood.

The following Tuesday, I found that just as GB had cut me off without telling me, they authorized the refill without telling me - the previous Friday.

I decided I’d have to gather myself up and try to fight again. I’d failed many times before and wasn’t exactly hopeful. I contacted a nice lady at Ohio Workman’s Comp and explained the situation, and she contacted GB. Meanwhile, my shrink at OSU discovered a program called “Spenddown” that might override my ineligibility for county health assistance by presenting my tens of thousands of hospital bills and my low bank balance.

After driving all over the county, I finally found a social worker who got some results. Meanwhile Dr. M got word that GB was bowing to pressure from the Ohio BWC and would be sending me a back check of $1,544. They wouldn’t, however, authorize direct deposit anymore because of the mix-ups. I wouldn’t get a check for about 10 days.

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Jet is the not yet published author of two spy novels, SYSTEM 10 and its sequel GHOST OF A CHANCE, and a professional artist. He likes to collect books, music, chess sets, and friends. Favorite quote: "Evil only succeeds when good men do nothing." In 2004 his "good life" came to an aburpt end with a robbery and near-fatal beating. He now works as a writer/artist on disability. You are welcome to visit his ongoing on-line diary by clicking his homepage/URL.
Keep reading for information and comments on this article, and add some feedback of your own!
Blindly Navigating a Maze of Bureaucracy, Depression, and Suicide
Published: April 16, 2008
Type: Opinion
Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Society, Culture: Personal History, Sci/Tech: Health/Fitness
Writer: Jet in Columbus
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Comments

#1 — April 16, 2008 @ 15:41PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I had a good day today for a change, I just got back from Wal-mart and it turns out that they enrolled me in some in-store program and I got $90 worth of prescriptions for $6.50!!

#2 — April 16, 2008 @ 20:15PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

If anyone has had similar experiences and knows a way out of this maze, I'd really appreciate hearing from you


Thanks
Jet

#3 — April 17, 2008 @ 10:33AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

My shrink just yelled at me when I told her I was thinking of hoarding 30mg of Cymbalta and only taking 60, trying to save enough for 15 days in case they cut me off again. Instead she says she'll try to find me some more from drug rep samples.

paranoia can be so fun...

#4 — April 17, 2008 @ 12:09PM — Stevie Wilson [URL]

loved the post and I really know what you are going through.
1) you can ask your doctors-- all of them-- to check with the drug companies about programs for people who really have no money to pay for the medication. Each company is different and the request needs to come from an MD but it is taken seriously. (my brother got his Plavix free-- it was 157/month)
2) ask for samples every single time you see the MD and tell them to call the drug rep to request samples and comp stock bottles for a special patient who is on limited funds-- give each MD a list of all your meds, you never know what they have in the sample closet
3) stockpiling is a good idea-- but realize that depending on the medication, it can be a sign that you are getting better or worse depending on the doctor. (a shrink might see it as a sign of potential suicide)

4) contact your local state and national legislators and tell them your plight.
If you don't mind the media coverage, contact your local tv or radio stations about a segment on what people in your circumstances have to do to get by.
good luck!

#5 — April 17, 2008 @ 12:32PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Thanks Stevie, all good suggestions. one fly in the ointment is having to sign dozens of release forms so that one doctor can share medical records with another. Since I have several of my own personal MDs and GB has many more it's a genuine maze trying to sort out who I should go to for what information.

 

If you'd like to read what led up to all this, you're welcome to check out my diary blog by clicking here

#6 — April 17, 2008 @ 19:11PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

One of the problems with going public with it Steve is that my attackers were never caught and could come after me, once they know who I am.

#7 — April 17, 2008 @ 21:23PM — Dan Miller

Jet,

Words have long been my passion, professionally and otherwise. Yet, although I want and, indeed need, to say something to you, I don't know how or where to begin.

To say that you humble me is a gross understatement. Please take it as such.

You also inspire me. I have been sitting here feeling sorry for myself and writing more than I should, because I can't walk easily and haven't been able to ride my horses for about a month. There is a very good chance that my problems are ephemeral. You also shame me, for the same reason.

Please, please, continue writing. We have agreed and disagreed on several points; while agreement may boost my ego, I much prefer rational disagreement. That you have provided. I need you, and so do many others.

If I were not an Agnostic, I would wish you Godspeed. I can't do that in good conscience, but can and do wish you the very best.

Dan

#8 — April 18, 2008 @ 04:11AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Thank you Dan Miller. Please don't belittle your pain to me, for I know it all to well and though it is your's and not mine, I feel for you. You're passion for horses and writing is no less,nor less important than my passions.

You've hit on an aspect of my life almost without knowing it.

Friends.

Over the last four years I've lost all of mine. I've gained a few, but I tend to call them friendly strangers, so we agree on things and send e-mails and smile at eachother a lot, we've never actually never met in person.

One is Dave Nalle, who put up with me when I first found this site in late 2005. Rather than shove me away like an unwanted agravation, he encouraged me to join this little group and begin writing articles. I was a year into this ordeal, and was goiing through (and still am) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, with a deep depression verging on suicide. Dave gave me an avenue to let some of my frustrations out, a long with some science, a few jokes and most of all the commradarie(sic) that this site provides.

A real true friend is Chantal Stone, of whome we don't really hear enough from. She is a perfect stranger that I met on this site. One day she came to my home, to give me a lift to an eye appointment at Ohio State. She waited through the examination period and laughed with me and kept me company, even going into the examination room and sharing my paid when I was told the results, then drove me home and left me with a smile and a small hope things might get better... they didn't but it was a lift I sorely needed.

The reason I've lost all of my friends is because they had to watch from a safe distance as my life litterly flew apart like a soggy doughnut. Each succeeding disaster that they witnessed was something completely out of my control to prevent, and while they hung on, they all understandably caught the "there but for the grace of God, go I" syndrome.

On top of that I gradually became someone completely different from the person they'd befriended.

One of the things that tore me apart was a tradition I'd loved all of my life and was ripped from me... Christmas.

I used to thank "God" or my guardian angel for my good fortunes by leaving annonymous gifts for my neediest friends on their doorstep at 3AM in the morning on Christmas day. A couple of bags of groceries consisting not of candy or cards or treats, but canned hams, soup, a thawed turkey and fixings for christmas dinner, things like that. I was the joy of giving. Actually I was avoiding the sometimes unavoidable suspecion that I must want something in return instead of generousity. Another thing I'd do would be to leave a $100 bill in a card taped to the window of their front door with no signature, or I'd pay whatever they were behind on an electric bill plus enough over so they'd not have to worry about it for a couple of months.

It was the joy of just doing something for someone you care about without wanting a "payback". I'm sure a few probably figured it was me, but we'd never say anything about it. Of all the things that have been ripped away from me, that hurts the worst.

It's human nature to substitute one thing for another when you lose something important to you. It happens to all of us eventually like losing a relative. We hurt and then eventually move on. My ability to move on is slowly leaving me like a hand full of sand-the harder I try to hold it, the more of it that slips through my fingers.

Last year I was late with a credit card payment, the first in 22 years, due to GB cutting me off while they reviewed my case because their caseworker had misplaced some paperwork. Master Card and Visa raised my vinance rates from 7.9 on both cardes to over 33.9 percent and a debt of about twenty grand almost hit 60 grand in less than three months. When I went for help from the Legal Aid Society, they said that their lawyers were no longer helping people with bankruptcies for free because of how the laws had become so complicated during the Bush years favoring the card companies instead of the people who needed help. When they told me I'd have to come up with nearly a thousand dollars in fees and court coststs and "financial counseling" I nearly lost it. Then people like Dave, Chantal,and others not wanting to be named from this very site, contributed almost $800 into a Paypal account so I could set the preliminary legal help I badly needed.

I seems like Kharma alway keeps a balance sheet though as only a couple of months after I was relieved of all that debt, I was and am saddled now with tens of thousands of debt again dure to my two heart episodes.

I owe Blogcritics a lot, and those inidividuals who helped me the most (like my Christmases) don't want to be thanked.

All I can tell you is don't stop hoping, and try not to become so completely different because of your personal criseseseseseses that your friends don't recongnize you. That was my downfall-so learn from it.

I owe a lot of people here. Encouraging notes from Dawn and Eric, heartless but needed and appreciated from people like Mr. Nalle, and even Matt Sussman. Compassion from Ruvy from a third of the way around the world. and so many more. They're all here to make life a little more bearable.

Even Arch Conservative-who gets my dander up with his outrageous viewpoints, but makes my intellectual blood flow instead of lying stagnent feeling sorry for itself.

The big God, who is only noticed when he does something you don't agree with is Christopher Rose.

He is damnable in his habit of always being right... even when you refuse to admit it to yourself. His intelligence at times can be a blow to your ego, but you have to begrudge it too.

I have lost a lot of my faith in God, but as always, I still stop and say a little prayer for those more faithful amonng us who need one, and I'll say one for Dan Miller today.

Be at peace my friend.

This is a little too long to go back and edit, so please forgive my bad eyes and any typos...
Jet

#9 — April 18, 2008 @ 09:30AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

that last comment had lots of typos, sorry gang, I can only read if it's exploded 300percent right now which lets maybe two ro three words on the screen when combined with the magnifyer program.

You know my heart was in it anyway...

#10 — April 18, 2008 @ 13:59PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Just when I thought I'd done it all, that loud clap of thunder last night was an earthquake about three hundred miles away. fortunately all that we experienced here was a loud rumbling noise.

I'm almost afraid to ask what next?

#11 — April 18, 2008 @ 17:06PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

GB just called, (shock surprise) and they said they're trying to end this part of my ordeal... I'll believe it when I see it.

#12 — April 19, 2008 @ 01:19AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Sorry Doc, I know I promised you an artilce about my desk, I'm working on it, I promise :)

#13 — April 19, 2008 @ 01:22AM — Dr Dreadful [URL]

Working on what? The article, or putting the desk back together again after the earthquake?

:-)

#14 — April 19, 2008 @ 01:58AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

The article about my desk that I'd promised. I'm far enough away from the epicenter that all I hear was a loud roar of what I thought was thunder like a lightening strike that came very close.

Scared the hell out of my cat Mischief though...

#15 — April 19, 2008 @ 02:03AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Doc, if you'd like to see some of the artwork that I used to do professionally click here and then scroll down to chapter one!

#16 — April 20, 2008 @ 10:59AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I've finished editing my personal diary blog for 2005-6 and hope to have Chapter 5 reconfigured by the end of the day... thanks for your patients, you can still use the link above in my previous comment to get there.

That way I don't have to leave notes here helter-skelter when someone wants to know how I am...

Jet

#17 — April 20, 2008 @ 19:56PM — Ruvy [URL]

Jet,

Even Job got some relief after all the hell he went through....

May G-d watch over you and give you relief from the torment you obviously suffer. May He bring you healing from the illnesses you've been stricken with. I can't send you money to help you. I don't have any to send. But I can at least send prayers on your behalf....

#18 — April 21, 2008 @ 04:50AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Thank you Ruvy, my friend. I'm proof positive that God exists, if he didn't I'd be dead by now by my own hand.

Today I'm going in for another eye exam at Ohio State. The unfortunate problem is they have to see into my eyes in order to ascertain how to fix them, which is inpossible until the blood clears up.

I've got five chapters on my person blog that I've worked on as sort of therapy.

#19 — April 21, 2008 @ 04:58AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I've been going back through the personal journals that my shrink has made me right in the last 4 years and culled details that even I've mercifully forgotten. That's why I've spent so much time editing and posting that las few days, and is the reason I posted this article.

Who knows, maybe after I finally give up, they'll make a movie of it and somebody else will become a millionaire on my story.

What's that quote?

"Someday, you'll tell my story to the world... and when you do......... be kind?

#20 — April 21, 2008 @ 07:38AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

If you'd like to know what an external fixator sticking out of your foot looks like click on the link in comment 5 and scroll down to chapter 4... I just posted it.

#21 — April 21, 2008 @ 13:27PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Just when I thought nothing else could go wrong... I got a bill from the Columbus Fire Department to transporting me to the Hospital 7 and3 months ago.

$735 each.

It's unreal, I keep wondering "what next???"

Mayber I'm jinxing myself?

#22 — April 23, 2008 @ 18:34PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I just got home from the cardiolgist. I have a dead chamber in my heart, and apparently that silent heart attack I had was from a clot that hit the artery feeding that part of my heart.

He said there's nothing that can be done, and that I'll need to have a defibulater installed withing three months to a year. He wants me to put off any operations on my eyes or leg for that long.

I don't know how much more I can take.

I've been working on revamping my blog site on the above URL. I've found a lot of journals on my computer that I'd forgotten that I had, so I'm working from the most recent back, because the latest entries are always on top, and rather than make everyone read them from bottom to top, I'm doing it in reverse order the latest to the oldest news.

Crushed, disapointed, helpless, and there's not a damned thing they can do for me. the chamber is dead cells and the only thing they can do is try to keep me alive with an appliance incase my heart starts fibulating.

Honestly, I don't know how it is that I'm still standing, and I'm beginning to wonder how much longer I will be...

Don't worry, I'm too much of a coward to do that...

#23 — April 24, 2008 @ 16:03PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Doc D, since I'm still working on the article about my desk, I posted a photo of it on my blog in the 2007 chapter near the bottom. Just click my URL above...

soon... I promise

#24 — April 24, 2008 @ 16:37PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

My Doctor just called to say he's taking me off of Coumadin-Damn no more rat poison?

#25 — April 24, 2008 @ 16:39PM — Dr Dreadful [URL]

Looks pretty nice, Jet. Did you squish the photo a bit to fit it on your blog? Everything looks a bit narrow...

#26 — April 24, 2008 @ 16:53PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Unfortunately that happens on occasion when I post a photo, I'm working on trying to fix it, but I'm quickly running out of cuss-words

#27 — April 24, 2008 @ 17:10PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Okay Doc I got it now, I had to compensate for the distortion that blogspot sometimes displays. You watch they'll fix it tomorrow and it'll look redulou ridulou redi... It'll look funny. If you click the image it's much better but now that blurs it.

I just can't win...

#28 — April 24, 2008 @ 18:38PM — Ruvy [URL]

Crushed, disappointed, helpless, and there's not a damned thing they can do for me. The chamber is dead cells and the only thing they can do is try to keep me alive with an appliance in case my heart starts fibrulating.

Jet, look at it this way. Thirty eight years ago (when my father, may he rest in peace, had a major heart attack) you'd have been dead already. At the very least, you have the opportunity to record the experiences in your life on a medium that, if used properly, will outlast you. Keep working on your blog, and contact someone who can back it up at least twice, so that you can leave a legacy. My father had only me to carry his legacy. Fortunately, I have a very good memory and have told my sons many stories about my father. They know far more about their zeideh than I ever knew about my own zeideh.

You need to use a computer to accomplish the same thing, as I assume (perhaps wrongly) that you do not have sons. But you have friends, whether you realize it or not, and they can help you preserve a legacy. Do you realize how many writers and published authors frequent this magazine? Think about it, and then get back to work.

#29 — April 24, 2008 @ 21:58PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Thanks Ruvy, I will. I've pulled all the entries on my personal diary blog-the URL above-and I'm using my journald to reconstruct the whole story.
So far I'm sorking backward from the present.

The journals are sort of scattered all over my computer.

#30 — April 25, 2008 @ 09:51AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Should anyone be interested, I've just posted some artwork I used to do, on my blog in the first chapter.

#31 — April 25, 2008 @ 13:34PM — Dr Dreadful [URL]

Good work, Jet - and I don't just mean the art. You're a heck of a storyteller, and as Ruvy recognizes, with a bit of application, imagination and luck you might just be able to pull something positive and lasting out of your nightmare.

Passing on our experiences to others, whether orally or in writing, is the only way most of us will ever achieve immortality. I find it a rather melancholy subject myself, as witness this piece I posted on my own blog last year - if you're interested.

Look forward to reading more of your adventures!

#32 — April 25, 2008 @ 17:22PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Thanks Doc, I'll definately check that out. I've added a photo of my Cat Mischief and her heartbreaking story to the 2007 chapter. while I do have a style of writing (I used to be a pro at it) it's all true.

After the evening dust settles I'll for sure check it out.

Thanks for the ocmpliments on my art, an artist hates his work right up to the moment he finishes it, then he loves it...

#33 — April 25, 2008 @ 18:21PM — Dr Dreadful [URL]

an artist hates his work right up to the moment he finishes it, then he loves it...

I've always found it to be the other way round. I love the creative process (while sometimes hating it at the same time). It's when I've finished, and step back to take a critical look, that I find all the flaws.

#34 — April 25, 2008 @ 23:07PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

We all have our own processes Doc, we all have our own processes... :)

#35 — April 26, 2008 @ 14:23PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Doc, I read your piece and I liked it a lot.

If you changed your template to Sand Dollar or one of its relatives, you wouldn't be confined to such a narrow space.

Just a suggestion... I like your title graphics though.

Jet

#36 — April 26, 2008 @ 15:53PM — Dr Dreadful [URL]

Thanks for the compliments, Jet. I'm actually thinking of moving the whole blog over to WordPress or somewhere because I can't get it to look the way I want it to. Can't figure out why the fonts randomly change in the middle of posts either. I mean, can't a guy write something up in Word and then paste it into his blog any mooore??! Jeez...

;-D

(I'll try out Sand Dollar, though, see how it looks. Ta for the suggestion!)

#37 — April 26, 2008 @ 16:22PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Doc, do me a favor? I've just published an article on my own blog that's an expansion of the chapter in the 2007 section about my cat Mischief.

I'm kinda disappointed that BC has a no "Cat blogging" policy???????

This isn't some childish "well if Mom says no, I'll go to Dad" request. I'm just insecure... I thought it was one of my best efforts.

Is it really written that bad?

thanks
jet

PS if you go into your Dashboard then click the Layout tab and then colors & fonts tab, you can do pretty much anything you want... except widen the view. Thay's why I chose sand dollar, it actually expands to fill whatever sized screen you have.....

#38 — April 27, 2008 @ 00:26AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I've got two more chapters posted along with photos of my balcony, view and cars... thanks for your patience

#39 — April 27, 2008 @ 01:34AM — Dr Dreadful [URL]

That's a beautiful cat you have, Jet. One of ours is also a rescued cat, and very skittish. She'll let herself be petted, but it has to be on her terms. I was very chuffed earlier today when she actually climbed onto my lap - an extremely rare event. She couldn't quite bring herself to sit or lie down though.

We have our little morning routine whereby she will come to me to be petted when I'm sitting on the bottom stair putting my shoes on. Other than that, we can go for most of the day without seeing her at all.

That has a lot to do with our other cat, who seems to consider it his life's mission to try to hump her at every opportunity - this despite the fact that he was 'fixed' long ago. She hates him and her life is a constant quest to find new hiding places where he can't get to her.

His personality is the complete opposite of hers and if you pick him up he will put his arms around your neck and hold on like a baby chimp. He'll also let you hold him like a baby. No dignity...

I don't really know where the 'no cat blogging' thing came from. Must have happened some time between now and when that 'Death of a Cat' article that still gets regular comments was published - at least a couple of years ago I think. Perhaps they're worried about being inundated with sappy fluff pieces from elderly spinsters with blue hair...!

It's a well-written piece, IMHO. 'T would certainly be publishable under normal circumstances. Go figure...

#40 — April 27, 2008 @ 02:16AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

LOL I used to have a siamese cat like that. Sorry for the delay, I found a satelite photo of the circle and apartments where I was robbed and had to insert it in the Nov 6th article.

I grew up with siamese cats all my life. My father bred them and I did too. Very lucrative.

The male siamese was Chasra (Kazzra) ahd the female was Maddame Chang (Shang)

When I moved up to my penthouse, my landlord changed the pet policy and I had to decide which pet that I'd had for 10 years that I liked less.

She'd just had a litter that was then 8 weeks old, so I gave her away free with a kitten to a good home. I sold the rest to Petland for $75 each.

Kaz died a year later of kidney failure, he was 15.

I may have to buy my Sebring, though it'll expose me to it being called an asset. The monthly bills would be a lot less, but up until now that pain-in-the-ass lease has been a godsend, as they can't take it, because I don't own it.

I'll have to decide soon, as the lease ends July 17th, and if you click the URL and scroll down you'll see why it's so damned difficult for me to even think of giving up...

#41 — May 5, 2008 @ 23:39PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I found some old photos of a British/American auto repair shop that I used to be a part owner of, mostly Triumphs and MGs.

If you're interested, just click on my URL and scroll down to the 1987-1996 chapter. The photos will enlarge to much bigger ones if you click on them...

Jet

#42 — May 7, 2008 @ 10:55AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I've found even more photos of my British cars and of my vegetable garden on my terrace, just click my URL and scroll down...

#43 — May 7, 2008 @ 16:22PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

You guys don't have the echos echos echos fixed fixed fixed yet yet yet???

#44 — May 18, 2008 @ 23:56PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I've been asked to try to turn this article into a novel, which is why I've been gone for so long. Writing fiction is easy, my own life is hard, especially when I have to force myself to relive painfoul events.

For accuracy, I'm going through medical logs, journals, comment dates I've made in this forum, and cab schedules. Since it's a work of non fiction, I've got to be precise as the what happened when.

Should any of you be interested, (or want to volumteer to proofread) the chapters with a lot more photos, they'llbe posted on my blog/URL so they'll be copyrighted as I work.

More when I can :)
Jet

#45 — June 18, 2008 @ 17:06PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Two weeks ago I signed around 10 documents in order to by my car. By the time I finish I'll have paid $18,000 to lease it, and another $18,000 to buy a car that lists for $26,900 new.

Why

Because of the bankruptcy last year, I can't get another loan, so the only two sources of a loan are Chrysler and Hungington bank whom I was leasing it from.

Now Chrysler calls, after I made all those arrangements to tell me that they won't approve the loan half an hour before the banks close so I can get my final lease payment on time.

July 17 unless I can come up with another source, I'll lose my beautiful car (click the url and scroll down to see the red chrysler convertible).

There's no hope of getting something cheaper.

Is it any wonder why my blogsite is called Blogging on the edge of Suicide?

#46 — June 19, 2008 @ 01:12AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I need someone to help me understand what Chrysler just did to me, I'm finding that I'm able to cope less and less and I find my self on the edge.

June 4th I called my Chrysler dealership as my lease on my car expires July 17th. With last year being forced into bankruptcy by the credit cards upping my finance rates to 33.9 and with the bills for my uninsured conjestive heart failure and then heart attack, I just can't cope.

I love that fucking car. I can't get a loan for another cheaper one, so I figured they'd see that I'd never been late or missed a payment in five years... which is exactly what they told me.

... So I went to the dealership, layed it all out for them, they said a down payment would go a long way towards approval, so I gave them $1000 in cash. They took my money, made me sign all manner of paperwork, made me take my license plates off and buy temporary tags that only last till July 4th, shook my hand and sent me on my way-a happy car owner.

That was June 4th.

The seventeenth they called a half an hour after I got home from my shrink at OSU, to say they couldn't get approval on my loan... no excuses, no reasons, and after I started making plans and budgeting for two weeks, I can't have the car past the 17th.

With all I've already endured, with putting all my heart soul and love into that car until it became a part of my identity, this just may be the thing that pushes me over the edge.

I just wish I could understand.

#47 — June 19, 2008 @ 20:14PM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

Okay, more details of my latest disaster. That phone call yesterday came half an hour before Huntington Bank's closing, which meant if I didn't get that final payment in by 3PM close of daily business, it'd be marked late... the only payment the whole lease that would be late.

It's one of those weird deals all banks have that even though they're open till five or six, you have to transact your business by three, or it hast to go on the next day's business.

anyway, I rushed up there and it took the forty-fice minutes just to find the lease, which had been canceled when Chrysler bought it out from them June 4th, The bank manager said he'd mark it on time because they were unable to find the lease agreement on their computer before the "close of business."

All the way up there on Rt. 71 through each construction zone, I kept thinking all I'd have to do is nudge the wheel just slightly and I'd sideswipe the semi that was dangerously close in the narrow lanes, or if I nudged it the otherway I'd slame into a bridge abutmentent doing 60.

When I got home, even though I'd just seen her yesterday, I made an appointment with my shrink for this morning. After meeting with her, I drove up to my bank National City. the moment the words bankruptcy left my mouth, I was turned down.

I told the manager that the bankruptcy was because workman's comp hadn't paid a $20,000 bill that'd gone onto my credit report, which gave the credit cards to push my finance rates from 7.9 to 33.9 percent, causing impossible minimum payments forcing me into bankruptcy against them.

She said there was nothing I could do.

Huntington Bank's offer was at $308 a month, but Chrysler's was $292 a month, which is why I went with them. Now I'd have to go back to Huntington on bended knee and ask them if the deal was still open...

it wasn't.

It was a "handshake" deal. So I droveover to the dealership and they said it was some sort of "temporary possesion thing" where they gave me my own car to drive while the loan cleared Chrysler Financial, which sounds like bullshit because they closed the lease deal, effectively buying the car from Huntington Bank and then selling me my own car. Took my plates and issued me temporary tags, signed a paper transfering title to me on the condition I give them $292 a month for five years, and sent me on my way, after taking a $1000 cash down payment, only to pull the rug out from under me yesterday afternoon.

So the sales manager said he'd try to get another deal and asked me to do nothing until then.

I'm thinking of contacting my workman's comp lawyer to see if he can refer me to another lawyer.

But with my track record I'm not getting my hopes up and looking toward losing my car July 4th even though the lease is up the 17th because they took my plates away and that's when the temporary tags are good to...

stay tuned.

#48 — June 25, 2008 @ 03:28AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

All right all you legal experts and Know-it-alls. Lets see if anyone can sink their teeth into this challenge and come up with a palusable solution.

I was accepted by Chrysler financial for a car loan to buy the vehicle I was leasing, and then two weeks after being accepted for the loan, because of fine print I've been screwed by a car dealership.

I signed a contract
I accepted papers
I turned in the lease papers
they took my license plates and issued me temporary tags until the paperwork came to buy new plates.
I put $1,000 down on the car.

They shook my hand.

Quick and dirty version.
My 5-year lease (July 17, 2003-2008) is up on my 2004 Chrysler Sebring convertible. ...I got it back when I could afford one.

With my credit card bankruptcy last year, it'd be impossible to get a car loan anywhere, so knowing that I'd soon be without wheels I went to the people that know me best financially:

I was turned down by my bank-National City
so...

I tried Huntington Bank, whom I was leasing it from because I was advised that they'd either continue the lease another year til I could get back on my feet, or take into account in their own records that I'd never been late or missed a payment, even through the bankruptcy...
they turned me down.

Lease turn-in date is July 17th-last payment due June 17th.

June 3rd, I went into the dealership where I got the car. Layed out my situation concerning bankruptcy and how I'd never missed a payment nor been late with one.

The alesman told me it might take some doing, but he'd give it a try. I filled out all kinds of loan papers of which I have copies, laid out the whole situation regarding being on Workman's comp, and Social Security disability, figuring they'd find out if I didn't tell them up front.

He had me fill out income statements, He got some kind of approval and called Huntington Bank to get the buy-down figure on the car. He was amazed that I only had 40,000 miles on it.

Half an hour later the salesman congratulates me, shakes my hand and gives me more papers to sign. Suddenly remembers that he wanted me to sign an income statement leaving the amount blank. He takes a $1,000 cash down payment from me, removes the Huntington bank license plates from my car, issues me temporary tags and installs them, has me sign odometer reading and lease turn-in sheets, has me sign a bunch of "As is" and "We owe" papers.

I was a little worried, because it seemed that since I was the 2nd owner the 7-year 70,000 would be invalid. Never got a straight answer on that one.

He informed me that I need not make the final lease payment to Huntington, and issues me papers that state that my payments to Chrysler Financial would be $292 a month for five years. The first payment would be due by July 4th 2008.

Congratulates me on being the 1st/2nd owner of my car, and sends me on my way in my car pulling in a leasee and leaving an owner.

He said the ownership documents and payment book, so I can get my plates will be coming soon.
The salesman wanted me to by gap insurance for the car incase anything happened to it, but I couldn't afford it. He said he negotiated my finance rate down a point for being a repeat customer and used that to buy the gap insurance for me.

I went home a happy man for a change.

Out of the blue on the afternoon of June 17th (the day of my final lease payment to Huntington) Caldwell calls me back to say that Chrysler changed their minds. I had 15 minutes to rush to Huntington to make the final lease payment before it was late. Took Huntington 15 minutes to find it because it wasn't on the computer-because it'd been canceled/bought out? by Chrysler.

I went to Caldwell and politely and calmly asked what the heck was going on. I even offered to put an additonal $500 down if it'd help. I was asked to wait a few days to see what happens.

Meanwhile I have no idea who owns my car or if the insurance is valid on it (yes if by Huntington-no if by Chrysler).

I love this car, it's the first one I ever got new, and I was really hopeful for this deal to go through because I'd never be able to get another car with the credit I have, and would be out of transportation as of July 17.

I'm still being treated for post traumatic stress at OSU, and severe depression because major things keep going wrong in my life without warning, making it nearly impossible for me to talk myself into leaving my apartment.

I'm hoping you can help something go right for a change... Please?

Workman's comp/Gallagher Bassett didn't pay a bill in 2006, and kept insisting they had, this went on my credit report, which gave both Mastercard and Visa an excuse to charge me 33.9% interest and inpossible to meet minimum payments. Thus I filed successfully for bankruptcy in March of 2007 and it was final on July 2nd... all of which was explained clearly to the Salesman at Caldwell.

The first year of my car lease I paid $299.83 for five years to the tune of about $18,000 (paydown was $11.???). The new agreement papers I have say $292.40 over a period of five years... which means all in all I'd wind up paying $36,000 for a $27,000 car. But I didn't mind, I love that car, and would never be able to get another of any kind with my finances.

I can't get a loan for any car because the bankruptcy is less than a year old, and $2000 cash doesn't buy much of a car these days

I have all the documentation you'd need to see. I hope you can recomment someone who can advise me in this matter.

Thanks
Jet

#49 — June 25, 2008 @ 03:30AM — Jet in Columbus [URL]

I've consulted 6 lawyers and they all say that Chrysler can pull the rug right out from under me no matter how many sale papers and handshakes I got.

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