Dear Kid,

Lately, I've come to the conclusion that all this driving around parents do for their kids is a really bad thing. Not only does it wreak havoc on the family schedule, but parents are tired and poorer and too many fast-food meals are consumed en route.  The result is that not only have the cars gotten bigger, so has our girth.

Now, I know you are of an age when you want both a car and a license.  And here is where I have to be frank.

I don't owe you a car. You're not going to get a Porsche, truck, Scion, or SUV from me. You should have figured that out. Last Christmas a car failed to materialize, though you did get a new pair of skis. Not like you'd use those to get to to school, but at least they were a form of movement.

As for the license, sometimes we forget that driving isn't a right. So I don't owe you a license, either. No, you'll earn it. Get good grades, be courteous to others, help around the house, show me you're responsible. Believe me, I know how important this is to you, and I understand why this upsets you. But I know for a fact that a license doesn't mean you've got good judgment, at any age. Just one look at the paper, and I've got proof.

Today, the LA Times reported that four teens were speeding to a church-sponsored event on the Interstate 60. They were racing another car. They hit the center divider twice and flipped over. All of them are dead. Everyone is deeply aggrieved. The parents of the driver must be wondering what went wrong. This is guilt that will stay with them forever. But the reality may well be that this wasn't the first time their kid raced recklessly — it was just the first and final time he crashed.

It bothers me that one of the passengers might have felt fear but was more afraid of being called a wuss by saying, "Slow down, I'm scared," than he was of dying. Was the peer pressure so great to just go along rather than use better judgment? I guess it was. All that promise, gone in a massive crash on a freeway. This pains me so, because I know those parents had dreams for their kids.