Every Monday morning I tell myself that I will not be discussing Top Gear come Tuesday. I have talked about the program enough, I have discussed its ups and bigger ups, and  you're probably tired of hearing about it. Then, Monday evening rolls around. Monday evening I watch Top Gear and I think to myself that I just have to, one last time, talk about Top Gear. I have to, just one more time, delve into its wonderfulness. So, come Tuesday, you read another Top Gear article. Are you watching the show yet? Because the season is almost over and you really need to check it out. If you don't, you'll regret it in the morning.

The main portion of last night's show featured the presenters doing their best to prove to themselves, the audience, and their producers that British Leyland Motors did in fact, at one time, produce a decent vehicle. Now, apparently their producers didn't believe our heroes so the producers made them go out and buy, with their own money, British Leyland-built cars and try and perform certain tests on them in order to prove that the cars were any good.

The tests ranged, in true Top Gear form, from the sublime to the ridiculous. There were pretty standard things like can the car actually get somewhere without breaking down (they couldn't), time trials (the cars were awful) , and whether or not the hand brake worked (allegedly two out of the three were operable). Then, there were the absurd tests, like making the car travel on an uneven road surface with a colander full of eggs about the driver's head; if the suspension on the car was any good, the eggs wouldn't break. There was also a water test, wherein the car was filled to the top with water and the driver, in a dry suit with a snorkel, had to drive as far around the track as he could before the water level dropped below the steering wheel. The notion here was that a well built car would fit together precisely and little water would leak out, whereas a poorly built one would leak like a sieve and not be able to get anywhere (as happened with one of the cars).