And in my search for answers, my thoughts often returned to that chat in my father's den. It's not that that talk made me want to smoke (if anything, I hated the smell), but it was the way he framed it: as a privilege for adults — as a rite of passage.

But that only explains how I tried it. Doesn't explain why I kept coming back, even at great personal and professional cost. Every once in a while I'd think back and wonder I was in my life that getting high meant more than anything the NFL could offer. Even more important than asking "where was I?" was asking "why was I?"

That was an important question, one that I wish I'd known to ask a lot sooner, because it unlocked the door to a whole new ways of seeing things. But if my mistakes can help even one of you play longer, fuller careers, then it was all worth it.

Breaking the Habit

The average NFL playing career is about three years long. Pro football will demand every bit of concentration and dedication you can manage. You don't want to get into any type of trouble before landing that big second contract with all the guaranteed money. Guys who are new to smoking will find it easier to quit, since they're not hooked.

The guys who've been doing it more or less every day since high school will find it much tougher. First thing a chronic smoker wants to do is sit down and write out reasons why you enjoy smoking. Does it make you more confident? A better writer? Relieve stress? Does it just feel good? Write down every reason you can think of.

Then you want to identify someone in your team's organization that you can trust. This can be tough as a rookie, but it's important. This person can be a veteran, a team trainer, a front office type, even coaches sometimes.

Present your list to that person and ask for their help in constructing a replacement plan for marijuana. I can't tell you what that plan entails because everyone is different, but the idea is to find natural replacements for issues you've been treating with a chemical remedy. You will go through a period of withdrawal, just like you'd have withdrawal if you drank a Coca-Cola every day and stopped cold turkey. But that, too, will pass.

If you want to play ball, the question isn't whether you're going to smoke or not, but on whose terms you'd prefer to quit. You can do it on your terms, supported by people who know you and have your best interests at heart. Or you can be forced to quit by going into the NFL's drug program and taking three urine tests a week, rehabbing with junkies, and seeing a psychiatrist. Personally, I'd like to see the NFL set up an anonymous hotline that players with drug issues can call into and speak with a trained professional in a safe, solutions-based (as opposed to shame-based, as much of the NFL's drug treatment program is) setting.