Senator Clinton Will Be The Next President, Because She Has Found Great Favor With God
Published April 03, 2008
There are those who believe that the Gods decided to create man for their own amusement. My personal belief is that once upon an eon long ago, they became tired of throwing thunder bolts and other stuff out into an infinite but empty universe, couldn't think of anything else to do and were bored stiff. Finally, one of the cleverer Gods proposed a contest: they would see which of them could create the most amusing world. They all agreed, and the Great Contest was held.
We are the sublime creation; the other worlds collapsed into black holes along with their creators. For this reason, only one God remains. I defy anyone to disprove this theory. The great mathematician Stephen Hawking, inventor of the Black Hole and Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge, a chair once held by Newton, would certainly support this theory if someone bothered to tell him about it.
If my theory is correct, and after years of research I am convinced that it is, then God must consider Her efforts to have been successful beyond even the wildest imaginations within Her omnipotent and omniscient competence. Quite probably, this is why we have been allowed to exist for so long, and why all of the imagined threats of unimaginable calamities are bogus.
Bertrand Russell wrote, “[G]loom is a useless emotion. In order to escape from it, I have been driven to study the past with more attention than I had formerly given it, and have found, as Erasmus found, that folly is perennial and yet the human race has survived.” Russell, An Outline of Intellectual Rubbish, page 1, emphasis added.
I disagree with Russell's observation only to the extent that it has become clear that the human race has survived because of folly, rather than despite it.
Patently, God favors and blesses those who most amuse Her; that was the purpose of Her creation. So do we, Her people, created in Her image, have an insatiable hunger for amusement. Everyone loves a comedian – look at the comedians of the past; George Burns and Gracie Allen, Bob Hope, Jack Benny, Amos and Andy and many more. Even Reader's Digest had a section which I read for religious inspiration many years ago as a small child, "Laughter is the best medicine."
Dan was graduated from Yale University in 1963 and from the University of Virginia School of Law in 1966. He practiced law in Washington, D.C., retiring in 1996 to sail with his wife in the Caribbean. They settled in a rural area in Panama in 2001. Dan spends most of his time training and riding horses and trying to write a bit. In the interest of full disclosure, he voted this year for Senator McCain and Governor Palin.
- Senator Clinton Will Be The Next President, Because She Has Found Great Favor With God
- Published: April 03, 2008
- Type: Satire
- Section: Politics
- Filed Under: Politics: Local and Regional, Politics: Elections and Candidates, Politics: U.S.
- Writer: Dan Miller
- Dan Miller's BC Writer page
- Dan Miller's personal site
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Comments on this articleComments
Ah, yes. Well, since Senator Clinton has found great favor with God, she won't be needing that cult any longer. Pray, good sir, put your spirit at ease and allow the peace which transcends all human understanding to be upon you and yours. Amen.
Dan Miller
Heh.
Isn't this fun, Dan?
I thought John Kerry was more amusing: the magic hat, the funny-looking bike shorts, and whatever obscene thing he was doing with that sail. His hunting trip was fun too.
[Pablo, Jet: in case you're wondering where all your comments on this thread have gone, I deleted JOM's crap and so your responses to it had to go as well. FYI.]
Assistant Comments Editor
Doc, I can see little statues of you appearing on dashboards all over the world...
Now if only you'd delete JOM?
It's been mooted, Jet.
But he has his First Amendment rights like everyone else.
I deleted JOM's crap
Not bad going, DD. Who knows? He may begin to get the message....
Maybe we could send a memo to the White House? After all he's taken away just about... on never mind
Guys... JOM - the White House - you don't think...?
Nah. Couldn't be.
...Could it?
It'd certainly explain a lot, but I think George's still searching for that elusive keyboard key that says "any" on it, so he can continue...
JOM - it has little to do with the left or right...BC has gone to the mad dogs of politically correct comity and other Englishmen
Opposing political views don't bother me at all Troll, it's the personal false implications and unfounded implications.
troll, that's a load of bollocks. The implementation of our approach to comments remains essentially unchanged and just the same as it has been for years.
We don't practice political correctness and it pisses me off that you would suggest it.
I had to look up the meaning of "comity" and learned that amongst other things it means "mutual civility and respect". That we are indeed encouraging, although I think most balanced observers would agree with my view that we are more tolerant of personal expression than many an online destination.
Finally, it is an absolute fact that the USA is far more prone to political correctness than the UK, so in conclusion, all I can say is if you don't like the way we are editing JOM's increasingly feeble and mindnumbingly repetitive comments, go fuck a tree. ;-)
What kind of tree? May I suggest a Mesquite or some other member of the Locust family? What's that one from the middle east that birds get impaled on...
Dave
"You don't have Fuccah trees in Texas?"
Only the Muthah hybrid.
Well, I thought the piece was great. Very entertaining. I think I've seen some of those followers, and they all have the rapture. But I think I'd better find a nice shelter, because you know it's a myth that lightning never strikes twice in the same place.
"We don't practice political correctness"
So explain why you deleted my last post questioning the blatantly biased editing....hmmmmm
In addition I am one of the only person in this place who dares to question the left wing lunacy of the posters and editors...
JOM "BC A Sinister Cabal of Intolerance"
I loved it, amusing and funny, but very TRUE! SHe has found favor with GOD! and she will Win Sorry, to all those wo hate the thoght it will happen get used to it!
He's sooooo cute when he can't think of anything intelligent to say; isn't he?
I think you got it, but I am blind as a bat when writing on this thing, anyway corrections as follows: I LOVED IT , AMUSING AND FUNNY, BUT VERY TRUE! SHE HAS FOUND FAVOR WITH GOD! AND SHE WILL WIN. SORRY TO ALL THOSE THAT HATE THAT THOUGHT, BUT IT WILL HAPPEN AND SHE WILL BE PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON TO YOU AND ME!
Teresa,
Yeah, but Zeus help us!
Dan
'bollocks' ...I rest my case
...and on that more personal topic: I have a mountain locust growing on a cliff edge by my bridge who I find responsive to my advances in only the most subtle ways
Not quite sure what you're trying to get that there locust to do to/for you, troll, but I can confirm that the jomelette was scrambled by order of the management for persistently aggressively abusing commenters.
To Obama and Hilary
There still remains an oppoprtunity to do some good for our people and our nation...despite the hilitary it evokes from some uncaring jokesters...
Get to-gether..provide al decent healthcare program for our young and elderly and watch the blessings it will bring a grateful nation...God Bless America......Peter Baran Age 81
I have tried to make a sincere comment to Obama and Hilary intimating how their combined abilities could really benefit our country but I guess you only accept one liners that amuse some people....So much for caring and good journalism...
God Bless America....Peter Baran age 81
I must be missing something here. Perhaps it's just me, or the hour, or the wonderful Panamanian rum.
Mr. Baran's second comment, #28, appears to be responsive to something, but since it follows immediately his comment, #27, I can't figure out what. Having seen far fewer "one liners" on this blog than on the vast majority of those I have visited, I don't understand #28 for that reason as well. So be it.
Personally, I think that Senators Clinton and Obama would work together just fine -- like a lawnmower and grass.
Dan
Guess which one is the lawnmower???
(Sorry -- couldn't resist...)
Clavos,
Yeah, but have you ever pushed an underpowered lawnmower through very tall grass? Sometimes, the motor just stops.
'Nuff said.
Dan
Yes Nuff said.
And Clavos, wash your fingers out with soap!
Zedd,
Please, please, please don't feed me setups like that!
I don't have that much will power...
Add your comment, speak your mind
(Or ping: http://blogcritics.org/mt/tb/75452)
Blacks4Barack presents:
Hillary's Religion (cult ?) 'THE FAMILY'
Very Scary !
Prays To Jesus For The Elite To Rule The World
The media has repeatedly aired the short clips of Rev. Jeremiah Wright's rhetoric in attempt to discredit and smear Barack Obama. But what's even more interesting is the fact that the media never discusses Hillary Clinton's religion, which is extremely telling and even frightening. A closer look into her 'religion' gives one a clearer picture of why she is the way she is.In a recent article by Steven Brandt many truths about Hillary's religion, called ' The Family' will make you shutter. The question is....where's the media on this one ?
Brandt writes, "You don't choose your family, but you choose what church you want to attend." said Hillary Clinton, to reporters and editors of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review on Tuesday the 25th. This is an interesting choice of words, since -- while we mostly hear about her Methodist upbringing -- Hillary Clinton has chosen to associate herself with The Family (also known as the Fellowship), a very conservative, fundamentalist organization started by Abraham Vereide...
"...an immigrant preacher who in 1935 organized a small group of businessmen sympathetic to European fascism, fusing the Far Right with his own polite but authoritarian faith. From that core, Vereide built an international network of fundamentalists who spoke the language of establishment power, a "family" that thrives to this day. In public, they host prayer breakfasts; in private they preach a gospel of "biblical capitalism," military might, and American empire. Citing Hitler, Lenin, and Mao, Doug Coe, the Family's current leader, declares, "We work with power where we can, build new power where we can't."
This quote is taken from the book on The Family by the same name which will be published in May... a book which claims to "dramatically challenge conventional wisdom about American fundamentalism, revealing its crucial role in the unraveling of the New Deal, the waging of the Cold War, and the no-holds-barred economics of globalization. The question Sharlet believes we must ask is not "What do fundamentalists want?" but "What have they already done?"
A long article was written about Hillary Clinton's participation in this organization last September in Mother Jones, and The Family, itself, was the subject of an extensive article in Harper's in March of 2003. And on March 21st, The Nation published an article on Hillary and The Family by Barbara Ehrenreich that was published on The Huffington Post and CBS News' web site.
The Family avoids the word Christian but worships Jesus, though not the Jesus who promised the earth to the "meek." They believe that, in mass societies, it's only the elites who matter, the political leaders who can build God's "dominion" on earth. Insofar as The Family has a consistent philosophy, it's all about power - cultivating it, building it and networking it together into ever-stronger units, or "cells."
...wrote Ms.Ehrenreich.
Is it possible that Hillary's participation in this fundamentalist group -- which apparently preaches the "gospel of military might" -- would help explain her vote in favor of authorizing President Bush to attack Iraq? Is it possible her pro-NAFTA stance during her husband's administration comes from its embrace of "the no-holds-barred economics of globalization"? Is it possible that the sense some get that Hillary feels entitled to be president comes in part from this group's belief that "it's only the elites who matter"?
I encourage any reporter covering Hillary's campaign to ask her about all this.
At a time when so many people are wondering what sort of effect the Rev. Wright's sermons may have had on Barack Obama, I think it's only fair to ask what sort of effect The Family's fundamentalist mission has had - and continues to have - on Hillary Clinton. We know that George Bush engages in truly fundamentalist thinking. There is no person or new information capable of challenging his belief that what he already knows is right. Is Hillary Clinton like this in some way? I am not sure.
But the opinion I have formed from this is that - while Hillary Clinton may be considered a Liberal by many - on the inside she is a deeply Conservative person... possibly as close to being a Republican today as she was when she was a young woman supporting Senator Goldwater. This helps explain, to me, why she and John McCain are such good friends. They are both drawn to the use of military power and free market capitalism... and to taking money from lobbyists. The other opinion I have formed is that those who say there are no policy differences between Hillary and Barack haven't taken into account how their religious differences might impact the policies they would actually seek to implement as president.
(end of article)
So now a few things make more sense about Hillary. In review, she's in a kinda power-hungry cult which is actually run by her fellow Republicans which she is secretly one of ! It also makes sense why she could care less about detroying the Democratic Party. Also, beware of her claim to work toward ending the Iraq war. That is another great lie that she is telling. If you listen to her claims she commonly repeats ' I will start getting troops out within my first 60 days '.....How many ? 3....1000...10,000 ? Don't be fooled. Hillary has no desire to end the war. She'll bring 5 troops home then say that she kept her word.
The media should be called out for not exposing this cult. Problem is, they would also be revealing the truths about their fellow Republican's plan and prayers to 'rule the world' by any means. So it's up to us, regular Americans like you and I, to help spread the truth in spite of the media.....For The Re-Birth of America !
Greg Jones