While sharing in your spouse’s interests and sexual role-playing is all good and fine, it should cause at least a bit of bristling on the back of any woman’s neck that this “how-to” list includes both time-honored parenting techniques and blatant manipulation of a grown person. If your sweetheart must be bribed or tricked into doing something, it’s a good bet his heart — or any other body part you were hoping would participate — won't be in it, especially once he realizes he’s been had.

If your husband responds to what works on a child, it’s a good bet you married someone whose body is grown, but whose mentality isn’t old enough to drive, vote, or buy liquor, much less raise a child of his own. It should come as no surprise to gaming widows, then, when the same man who is avoiding housework suddenly avoids work altogether, or uses his work to fund his hobby instead of paying his share of the bills.

Apparently it’s too much to ask that a grown man act like a grown man. I don’t even want to think about how Mr. Smith would advise sports widows and those whose husbands’ addiction to porn has rendered them unable to perform with a real woman.

You know, ladies, there are men who act like men –- even as they enjoy the occasional game, online or on the course. It’s a fiery red flag of trouble that will only worsen over time when you find yourself in a relationship with a man who would rather (insert distancing behavior here) than (insert desired behavior here). If you’re determined to take that red flag into marriage, be sure to pick up some bleach on your way. You’ll need it later to whiten the cloth for your surrender.