OPINION

Is "Swedish Nice" A Dying Adage?

Written by EPelle
Published February 07, 2008

A large-framed, middle-aged woman with a black cane boarded the underground at 17.02 today. She, like the rest of us waiting for the 10-car train, was headed to a destination southwest of Central Station.

There wasn't much to distinguish her from any other rush-hour passenger as she waited on the platform absent of any accompanying friends or colleagues those last seven minutes before the gust of wind picked up and the vibration of the oncoming train was felt under my feet. We were breathing the same piped-in air, enduring the same noise pollution and watching the same people walk by to the front of the queue.

The train, which had 12 stops before it would reach my destination, rushed into the station at a breakneck speed in the conductor's effort to keep his schedule. What occurred after certain passengers disembarked, and the coast became more clear to board, is too shameful to describe.

Let's simply say that a larger-constructed woman, who walked with a noticeable left-hip limp once she leaned toward the direction of the train and laboured heavily as she climbed over the gap between the train and the platform, needed a seat (or two) upon which to rest as she left whatever it was that had occupied her time and presumably home to rest and recover for another go tomorrow. 

What she got instead for the cost of her ticket was a middle finger from a teenage girl and laughter from two others who refused to move when asked by a fellow passenger for the woman's sake. 

Somewhere deep in the heart of my forest-laden homeland, Sweden, a pulse of politeness and good behaviour still beats among people living in falu-red coloured houses who are connected by a bond of respect for one another and an honour of a dying personal characteristic called chivalry.

Those community folks are becoming increasingly hard to find, however, even with a great GPS device locked and loaded, as the road leading to random acts of kindness is slowly being repaved with informalities and rudeness.

Once upon a time, in a generation long ago, people used to care for their nearby residents, keep their communities clean, and respect the elderly. Nearly every mature woman was a potential grandmother for the neighbourhood youth. "Yes, sir", and "No, thank you, ma'am", were prevalent terms used among teens.

Alas, the 1950s have come and gone, and with the passing of every year, a part of history has, too. Today's youth in my local district — my kommun — have adopted a  creed which says, "Me first at every cost". 

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Is "Swedish Nice" A Dying Adage?
Published: February 07, 2008
Type: Opinion
Section: Culture
Filed Under: Culture: Society, Culture: Personal History, Culture: Holidays and Traditions, Culture: Family and Relationships
Writer: EPelle
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Comments

#1 — February 7, 2008 @ 16:31PM — Lena

That was an insightful article. Thankyou. I have a Swedish mother, and she has shared some of the same sentiments with respect to teenagers who lack respect. I don't think it is particularly a Swedish problem, but I don't know. There are teenagers everywhere who honestly don't care about much, let alone themselves.

#2 — February 7, 2008 @ 16:38PM — Thomas

It dempends on where you live really. Would you have been so concerned if the girl had a middle finger on her shirt and simply pointed down to it to the older woman? Let's get real - jerks exist everywhere. If you are only now seeing them, you may have either missed the early boat or you were simply not looking too hard.

#3 — February 8, 2008 @ 05:26AM — Ruvy in Jerusalem [URL]

EPelle,

Your comments coming from Sweden reflect how many Israelis feel about their own youth, and the fading "Minnesota Nice" in Minnesota itself, where I lived for two decades. After enjoying (sorta) a decade and a half of decent behavior in St. Paul, I saw this behavior begin to fade as the middle finger became the finger of choice in communications.

These things are relative, of course. Here in Israel, people (usually young women), will get up for an old person on the bus (a sign from the Torah reminds them to on every bus), and will call old folks ábale - but there is a rudeness in this society that is disgusting, and an attitude of contempt among many children towards their parents. Thank G-d, I've been spared this from my own sons.

#4 — February 8, 2008 @ 06:34AM — Angela Morrison

The only place today where you are going to find good teenagers here in Minnetonka is in private schools but why should society have to pay for kids to learn how to be respectful?

#5 — February 11, 2008 @ 16:18PM — Anders

The picture is not too much hyperbole it exists here in Sweden. It is hard to find respect even if to go shopping. People are closed in and that is a problem for tourists and people who moves here for a new life.

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