I’ve been reading up on the Atlanta Falcons’ search for a coach (mostly ‘cause I also like watching car wrecks), and the whole situation has given me sympathy for the Dirty Birds. Their 2007 season wasn’t technically one of the worst ever, but in terms of extracurriculars, they certainly take the cake on atrocity. Not only is the quarterback who started the season currently in prison, some of the players still pledge allegiance to the jailed Michael Vick. The new coach is going to have much more to deal with in Atlanta than just the horrible offense and defense, and that makes this easily one of the least appealing jobs in recent memory.

Stated simply: Who in their right mind would want to coach the Atlanta Falcons?

The problem with hiring someone at Atlanta is that there’s not really a good type of candidate to go for. They’re looking at other team’s coordinators right now, but if I were a coordinator, I wouldn’t go for the Atlanta job. If the Falcons continue to suck (and I really don’t see them pulling a winning season until at least 2010), who wants to have that on their resume as their first head coaching job?

There aren't any out-of-work head coaches who would want to walk into that minefield. There’s not a snowball’s chance in Hades that the Falcons would be able to drag someone out of retirement (rarely is it a good idea, but still – they’re incapable of that type of draw). The only coaches who go to the pros from college ball are at the upper echelons of the college game – if you’re at a football powerhouse like USC, going to the Falcons is equivalent to a demotion (as Pete Carroll has noticed). Unless something completely unprecedented happens, I don’t see very many people who would want to take the job.

Another problem is that anyone being held in consideration for this job could hold out and find a better job next year. Even if Jason Garrett takes over a team that goes 0-16 in 2008, I doubt that the situation would be as awful as the Atlanta Falcons who went 4-12 in 2007.

Even people in bad situations are hesitant to go for Atlanta: Baltimore defensive coordinator Rex Ryan is being interviewed by the Falcons. One line of thought says that he might make the jump since Baltimore lost its head coach; but even with a new head coach I think Baltimore is going to be better than Atlanta next year.

There is only one thing that’s appealing about the Atlanta job: the coach who manages to turn the beleaguered program around will be revered forever in Atlanta. If this next hire is the coach that turns it around and takes the Falcons to the playoffs in a few years, then he will be deified for lifting the Falcons out of their miserable estate. It’s a really sad day when the only thing you have to tout is how far you have to go.