All Hell Breaks Loose: Essentially, Chuck doesn’t take defeat well. When Blair tells him that she’s not going to let herself be blackmailed by him (“Have fun playing with yourself”), Chuck texts Gossip Girl accusing Blair of having more types of semen in her panties than Kobe Bryant’s accuser. Unfortunately for all involved, Jenny’s eavesdropping provided the final piece of the puzzle ending both of Nate’s closest relationships.

Get Over It, Nate: You cheated on Blair first. Besides, you guys were on a break!

Blair Falls to A Guerilla Coup: This was really ugly. When the two mini-Blair’s find out that their Queen has been less than Victorian, they both instantly look like someone has just shot their both of their mothers and all of their pets, and yet somehow they still don’t get any dialog. When Blair goes down, two new chicks get to do the drama. Will someone please write some dialog for the mini-Blairs?

Chuck Is A Bad Loser: Knowing that he really has no chance with the deposed and heartbroken Blair, Chuck lashes out and compares her to a horse that he’s “rode and put away wet.” Ouch, is this really a show for teens?

Lines of the Week: Tossup between Blair’s “Maybe I am a total bitch, did you ever think about that?” and her “I command myself not to be pregnant.”

Serena Almost Goes to Boarding School in France: Apparently on this show that’s what you do after sleeping with Nate.

Rufus’ Love Life: This was just absurd. After almost running away with Lily, Rufus now has to ask his kids' permission to merely go out on a date? In fact, Rufus seems to have forgotten Lily altogether as random women start barraging him at work for sex, leading to a misunderstanding and Rufus’ odd apology: “I used to bang groupies every night like Gene Simmons and Wilt Chamberlain combined. I’m not good at dating.”

Fashion Faux Pas of the Week: Tie between Chuck’s ugly pink sweater with black checks and Eric’s green slippers. Oddly, it’s Rufus’ lumberjack shirt that gets mocked.

Doom to Come? The show ends with a Gossip Girl shout out to Blair, who has complete and total revenge on her mind. The question I leave you with: What will happen first – a scene where the kids actually attend a class or Blair going Columbine in the school cafeteria? You all know that I’ll be glued to my seat hoping the writer's strike doesn't prevent me from finding out.