The backstabbing and the love of chaos gets maxed up to the hilt! This is the week where everyone finds out about everything.

Party of the Week: Amazingly, so much ugly stuff went down this week there was no party!

Movie Knock-Off of the Week: There were so many. Blair started the episode wearing a very Heathers-esque red ribbon in her hair and knocking little Jenny literally down a few social steps. Jenny then embraced the dark side just like Anakin Skywalker did in Revenge of the Sith. In doing so, Jenny not only got revenge against Blair, but she set off a Bad Boys-like coup that left her at the top of the social pyramid.

Yes, Jenny not only piled on her loving father with the nasty, “Why are you taking his advice? He’s old and alone,” she also became Darth Queen Bitch Vader, lord of the spoiled debutantes. Jenny was so evil this week that she was more evil than Chuck, and believe me, Chuck really was at his worst this week so that’s no small feat. Jenny was so evil this week that she made Blair’s mom seems like a concerned loving parent. Yes Jenny, you’re going to hell.

The Orwellian Genius of Gossip Girl: See this isn’t really a teen soap; it’s actually a 1984-like exploration of how omnipresent cell phones with cameras and instant texting are destroying our personal freedoms.

Serena set off a week of Three's Company-style chaos by buying a pregnancy kit for Blair, pictures of which made it all over the Gossip Girl website. Serena deserves a lot of blame here as she seemingly bought every single test in the store.

Dan’s Idiotic Reaction to Serena’s Possible Pregnancy: I’m thinking that he was hoping that it was true. Since Serena is way too hot for him, it makes sense for him to try to tie her up for life by getting her pregnant. A little less realistic was Dan leaving home without his cell phone and casually strutting into school like a knight in shining armor to take full responsibility for his active semen. Am I really to think that Rufus would wait all day to find out the truth? In real life, Rufus makes Dan call Serena that very second.

The Plot Line No One Cares About: Dan wants to tell Serena that he loves her without it being all about a broken condom. Of course, when he finally does it, Serena is shocked and Dan reacts to her shock by throwing a hissy fit that only Dan could throw. In the end, he redeems himself with a sort of weak When Harry Met Sally speech about why he loves Serena.

Stuff I Don’t Want to Think About: Of course the pregnancy test was actually for Blair, who apparently missed her period due to her recurrent bulimia issues. At least, that’s my guess. I’m not really that much of an expert of women’s fertility cycles and what may interrupt them.