The infamous Uwe Boll has struck again. He has unleashed his latest creation. Let me begin by saying that if you have a love for all things that are good about the movies, do not see In the Name of the King. However, if you derive perverse pleasure from bad films, or cannot help yourself when it comes to a Boll film, or if you just happen to like Mystery Science Theater 3000, by all means, go and spend your hard earned money on this bloated "epic." As I sat in the theater, I could not help but shake my head and roll my eyes (even if it was only for my personal benefit) as the nonsensical story played out in front of me.

The story is Lord of the Rings boiled down with the fat separated out. The problem is that rather than take the good stock, Uwe Boll scraped off the layer of fat, added some of his own lard and dropped it in the deep fryer with a healthy dose of cheese. If you couldn't tell, this is not exactly going to help you with your cholesterol level.

Farmer (Jason Statham) is - you guessed it - a farmer who lives in a remote part of the Kingdom of Ehb. He lives a quiet, simple life working the land and taking care of his wife, Solana (Claire Forlani) and his son Zeph. Meanwhile, the wizard Gaillan (Ray Liotta) and the simple-minded Duke Fallow (Matthew Lillard) are plotting to overthrow King Konreid (Burt Reynolds). The lives of all these characters are about to cross and become inextricably linked as their fates become clear.

Their respective journeys begin as vicious orc-like creatures called Krug attack. During the attack Farmer's wife is kidnapped and his son killed. Well, enough is enough. Farmer and a pair of friends head off on a journey to get to the bottom of the Krug attack and find his wife. Back at the castle, Fallow and Gaillan plot their next move as the Krug continue their rampage.

Before long, everyone's paths cross and secrets are revealed. If you don't guess what comes up during these revelations, you haven't been paying close enough attention. Everything plays it in a predictable manner that you will see coming miles away, even through all of the allusions to better films. It is an absolutely mind-numbing experience. In order to survive the flick, be sure to have your sarcasm stretched out and ready to run.

When it comes to a reason for what makes this movie so bad, it is difficult to choose just one. Looking at the big picture, it is, and I hate to be repetitious, a cheap knock-off of Tolkien and his Lord of the Rings universe. Not a good way to start.