Convicted felon Marion Jones has made a career of injecting her body with chemicals that have been known to be undetectable in a concerted and aggravated effort to provide enhanced performance with little consequence of being outed as a cheat.

She propped her body full of these illegal aides from 1997-2006 to secure fame and fortune by method of fraud, and she has found no reason to discontinue doing so today as she awaits her stay of prison term during this, the 25th hour since her confession to telling lies, lies and more lies to the detriment of two investigations of large proportions.

Marion Jones isn't taking blood-boosting gels, creams or injectable substances today to aid her attempts to dissuade a very experienced Federal judge from being too ambitious with incarceration sentencing guidelines, rather she's injecting herself with a form of "the clear" in a truth serum which has the desired effect of appearing that she is telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help her God.

Marion Jones has put enough serum into her body to persuade her eyes to shed tears and her voice to shake on queue and on camera just as the directions on the unlabeled box stated they would:

Open and use only in case of emergency. Apply two drops to the mouth, once in the morning, once in the evening following an inability to naturally tell the truth. Keep cheeks square, voice raised and visualise unnatural and unpleasant thoughts about nesting with Ugly Betty to provide quivering effect. Practice twice daily in front of a large mirror.

Warning: do not overdose, as doing so may cause one to further perjure oneself. Always consult a qualified attorney prior to use.  Not re-fillable.

And so it became that, through deception and lies, Marion Jones pinned the tale on the donkey which is the US Justice Department, and she’s hoping she has hit pay dirt with her newest arsenal of attack weapons – one which lost thrust and flare, and contain a sound smaller than a pin drop rather than a loud, bolstering, big bang.  She has no assurances from Victor Conte that these drugs will work, as he’s moved on long past her into an apparent clean slate of business, hence Marion Jones is unsure she will hit utopia with the desired outcome. 

Insofar as she has lost the opportunity to overpower her opponent, Judge Karas, as she had done so with other government agencies attempting to strike gold in the truth department, by playing victim in perjury matters concerning the drugs, she has no choice but to hope her having displayed a semblance of humility and humanness will win over his desire to punish her with custodial measures. If Karas holds true to form with regard to federal defendants and matters of perjury, Marion Jones will leave court today damning the man whose sole job it is to uphold the law – the rules Marion Jones freely and did with conscious effort broke.

Weeks ago, in the beginning of October, Marion Jones stepped up to the witness stand and allowed the United States government to judge her guilty of lies to which she confessed – yet only to a degree in direct proportion to the punishment she anticipated on receiving. She was ushered away to leave two sets of fingerprints, a palm imprint and DNA samples – requirements for those who are suspected of disobeying the law.